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Amtrak
  • Tweet Untweet: Thumbs Up!


    Tags: Amtrak, Debates, Joe Biden, Paul Ryan, Tweet Untweet, Twitter
  • Colbert Tips His Hat to Guns on Trains

    On last night's Colbert Report, Stephen gave kudos to the US Senate for passing a recent bill that allows firearms on Amtrak trains. Thank God. Finally, average Americans will be able to stop terrorists from hijacking trains and driving them into buildings.



    The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.


    Tags: Amtrak, Guns, Senate, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video
  • Joe Biden Announces $1.3 Billion for Amtrak, Because What Else Is He Gonna Do

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    Today the Obama administration set aside $1.3 billion from the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act to repair Amtrak infrastructure, but who wants to leave the White House, go down to Union Station and make this boring announcement on the train tracks?

    Oh, there's always whatsisname

    Vice President Biden, perhaps the nation’s most famous Amtrak passenger, announced today that Amtrak will receive $1.3 billion in stimulus money to expand passenger rail capacity.

    At an event at Union Station this afternoon, Biden strongly defended the government subsidies that go to the nation’s rail system and said he was “tired of apologizing for help for Amtrak.”

    Touchy touchy touchy! Geez, I had no idea Joe Biden had been so busy helping Amtrak and then apologizing for it.

    Well, what can you do. A man has to pass the time somehow.


    Tags: Amtrak, Joe Biden
  • Barack Obama Choo-Choo-Chooses Us, America!


    Or, wait, was it the other way around? I can't remember! It was so long ago, and I required so many whiskey gingers to survive those interminable debates. All I know is there was some sort of selection process, and now Barack Obama is two days away from being sworn in as America's first junior senator from Chicago president.

    To mark the beginning of the Inaugural festivities, yesterday Obama rode a train from Philadelphia to Washington, DC, a journey that called to mind his vice-president elect, who hopped aboard in Delaware

    "Folks, this is more than an ordinary train ride — this is a new beginning," Vice President-elect Joe Biden told 8,000 fans in Wilmington, Del., at the train stop where he boards the Amtrak for work every day.

    Biden even confessed that some days when he is running late he calls ahead and the conductor pretends that there is "some mechanical difficulty that would last a minute or two" until Biden gets there.

    And that is why Obama/Biden won Delaware, people wanted a "change" in terms of Joe Biden making them late for work all the time.

    The train slowed through some small towns so the Obamas could step out on the balcony and the President-elect could blow the train's whistle.

    "You're never too old to toot the horn. You pull it and, 'CHOO CHOO!'" Obama told some of the guests traveling with him.

    This, of course, is precisely the sort of thing we have spent the past eight years mocking George W. Bush for saying, but it just sounds different coming from a guy with great graphic designers, you know?

    Anyway, the Obama/Biden train ticket rolled in to the Capitol yesterday evening, and today there will be many exciting Inaugural events, a few of which will be mentioned here, so please stick around. Dennis and Wayne will be joining the fun just as soon as they regain consciousness.


    Tags: Amtrak, Barack Obama, Delaware, Inauguration, Joe Biden, Washington