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Thursday's Links: Cycling's New Star
* Cycling goes back to its unadulterated state, from Funny or Die.
* If only more Nazis had done yoga.
* The New Yorker profiles John Kerry.
* Hey North Korea, don't get your panties in a wad.
* John Hodgman gives some sage advice to writers.
* Andrew Sullivan wants to correct the myth of Stonewall.
* Chris Gethard and Bobby Moynihan write "Alf Kills Hitler."
* The middle manager's sacred oath, from McSweeney's.
* Laughspin's newest podcast discusses Chris Rock, Stephen Colbert and more.
* These gifs explain what President Obama looked back to see at his inauguration.
Tags: Adolf Hitler, Andrew Sullivan, Barack Obama, Daily Links, Funny or Die, Horatio Sanz, John Hodgman, John Kerry, Kim Jong-un, Lance Armstrong, LGBT, Nazis, North Korea, Sports, Stonewall, The New YorkerOur Endorsements: Funny or Remote-Controlled Death
* G.I. Joe shoots into the 21st century.
* The Complete Guide to Everything explains the election.
* Does Joe Biden even need an anger translator?
* LBJ is leading in the polls…I think.
* Stephen Colbert meets the other press.
* Everybody wins the Saturday Night Live VP debate.
* Political cartoons from The New Yorker for your high brow.
* Second City takes on the potential second in command.
* Andrew Sullivan's Obama meltdown, as interpreted through gifs.
* The Endeavor Space Shuttle has suddenly decided it needs plastic surgery.
Tags: Andrew Sullivan, Barack Obama, Daily Links, Funny or Die, Joe Biden, Lyndon Johnson, Military, Mitt Romney, NASA, Paul Ryan, Saturday Night Live, The New Yorker, The OnionDebates Don't Matter vs. All Hail President Mitt Romney

Reading campaign coverage last week and today offers a very confusing lesson: 1) presidential debates don't matter, and 2) Mitt Romney's stellar debate performance is the greatest electoral coup since Dwight Eisenhower stuffed Adlai Stevenson into a gym locker.
You can see the media organizations straining so hard to let political scientists offer their conclusions about the relative importance of debates before bowing down before their one true God: the horse-race…
Tags: Andrew Sullivan, CNN, Debates, Fox News, Media, Mitt Romney, MSNBC, The AtlanticHurricane Isaac: Throbbing Gay Penis or Obama Conspiracy?

Tropical storm Isaac was a deadly natural disaster that triggered mudslides and flash-floods in Haiti, leaving tent cities ravaged and 10 people dead. By pure coincidence, that also happens to be the name of a fun little metaphor bearing down on the Gulf Coast. Let's count down what soon-to-be Hurricane Isaac really means…
1. It's a penis, coming to get the Republicans. "Isaac doesn't appear to be a Republican, and not only because it presents on the weather map as a throbbing purple penis surrounded by a rainbow," says Andrew Sullivan.
Tags: Andrew Sullivan, Darrell Issa, Natural Disasters, Republican National Convention, Rush Limbaugh, WeatherQuote Unquote: 3,000 Years of History
Andrew Sullivan on Mitt Romney's recent statement about the definition of marriage…
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"Ahem. His own family were ardent polygamists only a century ago — and went to Mexican colonies to escape US federal oppression of their version of marriage… For Romney to say that the definition of marriage has remained the same for 3,000 years is disproved by his own family. It's untrue. False. A lie."
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To be fair, Mitt's father George had some pretty progressive ideas about civil rights for Republican. So, clearly, Mitt doesn't share many of his family's beliefs.
Tags: Andrew Sullivan, Mitt Romney, Mormon, Quote Unquote, Religion