Ann Romney Speech or Taylor Swift Lyrics?

Last night, Ann Romney hit enter on the C:/HumanizeMittbot.exe subroutine, heedless to the the dangers that exist for humanity were this technology to fall into the wrong hands. By most accounts, she succeeded. At the very least, Ann and Mitt have my vote for homecoming king, which would explain the resemblance of parts of Romney's speech to the lyrics of a certain popular singer-songwriter.

Identify the provenance of each excerpt…

1. "And that is where this boy I met at a high school dance comes in/ you should really get to know him"

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Tags: Ann Romney, Music, Republican National Convention

Tweet Untweet: Bragging Rights

Ann Romney’s laugh when she said they shopped at Costco should have been RT’d by @humblebrag

— Sara Schaefer (@saraschaefer1) August 28, 2012

 

Tags: Ann Romney, Mitt Romney, Republican National Convention, Tweet Untweet, Twitter

Marco Rubio Might Be Replaced with Ann Romney at RNC

So, who do we have a speaking at the RNC next week, huh? Hmmmm… John Boehner, Rick Santorum, Chris Christie, Paul Ryan, Marco Rubio.

Hmmmmm… This line up is looking… well, maybe a little exotic for an event like this. I mean, do we really need Marco Rubio if we've already got a Latin like Santorum and dark-skinned guy like Boehner?

Couldn't he be replaced with someone who could maybe tone down all this spiciness?

The Mitt Romney campaign is considering a dramatic scheduling change for the GOP convention to guarantee his wife, Ann, a much larger national audience – but the shift could also cause tensions with a rising GOP star and Latinos, CNN has learned.

If Ann Romney is moved to Thursday night, she would introduce her husband and bump Sen. Marco Rubio from that role. GOP sources confirm such a move is under consideration but stress, like many other convention scheduling questions, no final decision has been made.

Okay, that works. Mostly. But make sure she's wearing a muted color palette. Those people down in Florida don't respond well to bright colors. Makes them all Salsa-dancing-ish.

Photo by Win McNamee-Staff/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Ann Romney, Marco Rubio, Republican National Convention

Tweet Untweet: Hot to Trot for Romney

Mitt Romney endorsed by Jenna Jameson. Now he's got one woman who likes dressage and one who likes undressage.

— Matt Goldich (@MattGoldich) August 3, 2012

Tags: Ann Romney, Mitt Romney, Olympics, Porn, Tweet Untweet, Twitter

MoveOn Ad Features Rafalca Impersonator (or Imhorseator Maybe)

While Rafalca — the most-personable and least-embarrassing member of the Romney family — was busy doing America proud in Europe today, MoveOn.org released this web ad, featuring the world-famous dressage horse…

Okay, so, I have a number of questions concerning this ad…

First of all, that's not the real Rafalca, is it? Because I think that would be a stunning betrayal, and far too classless an act for the Rafalca I've come to know.

Also, how exactly is the amount of money that the Romney's spend on their Olympic-competing horse relevant? Am I supposed to get angry because multi-millionaires Mitt and Ann Romney have bunch of money to spend on something that they care about? I kinda knew that going in; that's sort of the definition of "multi-millionaire," isn't it? If the point is that I'm supposed to get mad at the Romneys for being rich, shouldn't I also get mad at Barack Obama for being rich?

Finally — and this is the biggest question — how did they get that horse to remember all its lines. And don't tell me that it's reading off a teleprompter, because I'm not so stupid as to believe that horses can read.

Tags: Animals, Ann Romney, Mitt Romney, Money, MoveOn, Olympics, Sports