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Antichrist
  • Barack Obama, as It Turns Out, Is Not the Antichrist

    Don't you get tired of far-right conservative religious leaders always going on about Barack Obama is the Antichrist this and Barack Obama is the Antichrist that? It can get really repetitive and tiresome, don't you think?

    Well, Texas megachurch pastor Robert Jeffress agrees with you. As a matter of fact, he has a very different message for his congregation

    "I want you to hear me tonight, I am not saying that President Obama is the Antichrist, I am not saying that at all. One reason I know he's not the Antichrist is the Antichrist is going to have much higher poll numbers when he comes," said Jeffress.

    "President Obama is not the Antichrist. But what I am saying is this: the course he is choosing to lead our nation is paving the way for the future reign of the Antichrist."

    You see! Obama's not the One Who Shall Bring About the End of Times. He's simply the guy who's bringing in the One Who Shall Bring About the End of Times. A sort of Barack the Baptist, if you will.

    Such a breath of fresh air, to hear reasonable people talking sense for once.

    Photo by Sara D. Davis/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Antichrist, Barack Obama, Christianity, Religion
  • The Antichrist Went Down to Wisconsin

    Uh oh, according to to all the knowledge that Glenn Beck's been droppin' his viewers on, it would appear as though the Antichrist has his hand in these Wisconsin anti-anti-union protests. Buy gold! Buy gold quickly! Before it's too late…


    Tags: Antichrist, Barack Obama, Christianity, Fox, Glenn Beck, MSNBC, Protesters, Rachel Maddow, Religion, Scott Walker, Unions, Wisconsin, WorldNetDaily
  • Barack Obama's Megalomaniacal Roots

    An old Indonesian playmate of Barack Obama's — from his childhood years in Jakarta — recalls a frightening memory of the young man's insidious and despotic nature

    Mr. Obama asked a group of boys whether they wanted to grow up to be president, a soldier or a businessman. A president would own nothing while a soldier would possess weapons and a businessmen would have money, the young Obama explained.

    Mr. Januadi and his younger brother, both of whom later joined the Indonesian military, said they wanted to become soldiers. Another boy, a future banker, said he would become a businessman.

    "Then Barry said he would become president and order the soldier to guard him and the businessman to use his money to build him something," Mr. Januadi said. "We told him, 'You cheated. You didn't give us those details.' "

    Would anybody actually put it past a child who exhibits of such deceitful behavior with friends — not to mention his incredible, almost eerily preternatural, foresight — to fly to Hawaii without a guardian, sneak into a hospital and plant a forged birth certificate in their records so that one day he could install death panels in "The Great Satan"?

    Keep fooling yourselves, people!

    (via Andrew Sullivan)


    Tags: Antichrist, Barack Obama, Birthers, Indonesia
  • Stephen Colbert Wags His Finger at The Hutaree for Giving a Bad Name to Heavily-Armed Apocalyptic Christian Militias

    Say what you will about The Hutaree terrorist organization militia, at least they're doing what they do to keep the Antichrist in check. And that guy is a jerk.



    The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.


    Tags: Antichrist, Christianity, Hutaree, Michigan, Militias, Religion, Stephen Colbert, Terrorism, The Colbert Report
  • Americans Still Concerned About Barack Obama's Possible Ties to Satan

    According to a new poll from Harris Interactive, American are still Americans

    Americans have some extreme views of President Obama, with a new controversial survey suggesting that 40 percent of adults believe he is a socialist, and about a quarter of survey participants thinking the president is a racist, anti-American and even doing things Hitler did.

    A racist, anti-American Nazi? Snooze! You'd better do better than that America is you wanna shock me into fearful dismay…

    14 percent of Americans say President Barack Obama may be the Antichrist.

    Head, explode, skull shrapnel, brain mist.

    Take a moment and just try and wrap your exploded brain about that one for a moment. Think about how, for every 100 people you see during the day, 14 of those people are worried that Barack Obama might maybe be this poorly-defined mythological character that someone who we can't even really identify wrote about in some letters a couple thousand years ago.

    Of course, that's not completely right either. It can be a lot less than 14 people, or a lot more, depending upon the political breakdown of where you live in the country…

    When split by political party, 24 percent of Republicans and 6 percent of Democrats viewed the nation's leader in this way.

    A quarter people who identify themselves as Republicans. That's one out of four. You can't find one out of four people who can locate Indonesia (a.k.a., where Barack Obama was borne of a jackal) on a map of the world. And yet one out of four Republicans think that all the facts aren't in yet about the possibility our President is the offspring of Satan with magical evil powers and herald of the End of Days.

    And, hey, Democrats aren't off the stupid hook for only having a whole fucking 6 percent who believe this nonsense. I'm sure that the reason a lot of them aren't worried about Obama maybe being the Antichrist is that they're much more concerned that his chakra hasn't traveled far enough into Capricorn's cusp for his emgrams to be fully acupunctured homeopathically.


    Tags: Antichrist, Barack Obama, Christianity, Democrats, Polls, Religion, Republicans