These are tough times we're living in, and we've all got to make sacrifices. Not matter how difficult or how pointless and petty-minded…
More than 400 amendments were filed Monday night. Among them were a proposal from Rep. Steve Womack, R-Ark., to eliminate funding for the president’s Teleprompter…
Oh no! He'd be rendered speechless! But but don't worry. I'm sure there must be some money in the budget for an emergency teleprompter to be rented in case he needs to declare war on some Middle Eastern country. Or maybe the GOP can just lend the president one of theirs.
Womack told Fox News Tuesday afternoon that he pulled his amendment because he wasn't able to get an estimate on how much it would save.
Oh, bummer. He could have come to me. My brother-in-law's in the teleprompter business. (Growing field. And those people can drink. My brother-in-law has some stories!) Anyway, it's around $2,700. For two.
Tags: Arkansas, Barack Obama, House of Representatives, Money
Oh, man! I'm so mad at myself! Why did I have to take a day off yesterday? Why?! Not only did I not get to wish everybody a Happy Martin Luther King Day, but I didn't get to wish everybody in Arkansas a Happy Robert E. Lee Day!
As you can see from Secretary of State Mark Martin's official state holiday calendar, commanding general of the Confederate army Robert E. Lee's birthday was celebrated yesterday along with civil rights leader Martin Luther King's.
The two birthdays happen to be within a week of one another — King's on the 15th and Lee's on the 19th — but that seems like little more than serendipity. It's hard to imagine a more perfect pairing of celebrations.
I just feel bad for all the Arkansasians who must have been torn between attending a civil rights memorial service and human trafficking commemoration ceremony.
Tags: Arkansas, Civil War, Martin Luther King, Martin Luther King Day
So, remember those dead birds from Arkansas last week? So far, all the sciencey eggheads are willing to say is that they seem to have suffered some kind of "impact trauma" after being startled by some loud noises and flying into houses and trees. I don't know about you, but that explanation sure as hell doesn't satisfy me. (Last I heard, there are no houses or trees up in the sky.) There has to be a more logical explanation.
But, don't worry. Cindy Jacobs — "a respected prophet who travels the world ministering not only to crowds of people, but to heads of nations" for Generals International — is busy doing the scientists' jobs for them. Turns out, like most things, the simplest explanation is the most likely one. And, in this case, the simplest explanation is that the birds all died because of gay people in the Army…
Here's the part that really moved me…
According to biblical principles, marriage is between a man and a woman [Ed note: and a woman and a woman and a woman], so we have to say “what happens when a nation makes a decision that’s against God’s principles?”
Well, often [Ed note: often!] what happens is that nature itself will begin to talk to us — for instance, violent storms, flooding. And you know there are actually some patterns that you can see where a nation will make a decision that is contrary to the principles of God and after that there is some kind of answer that God gives — being the God of creation, the God who created nature – but we don’t always understand what He’s saying.
Oh, lots of patterns. And examples. You want examples? We've got examples of "nature itself will begin[ing] to talk to us" coming out the sinkhole. Why, there's so many examples that there's no point in even listing them. Any of them. My point is that there's just lots and lots of examples.
[T]he blackbirds fell to the ground in Beebe, Arkansas. Well the Governor of Arkansas’ name is Beebe. And also, there was something put out of Arkansas called Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell by a former Governor, this was proposed, Bill Clinton.
Oh my God! It's all coming together! Beebe… Arkansas… Clinton… B.A.C. Bac. Bak. Bakula. Scott Bakula!
Scott Bakula — from television's Quantum Leap — is somehow involved in all of this. No wonder, we haven't heard from in a while. Because he was busy plotting the deaths of 5,000 birds! The simplest explanation is the most likely one!
Oh, and get this. Scott Bakula went to college at the University of Kansas. Arkansas. This is getting spooky.
Tags: Animals, Arkansas, Christianity, DADT, LGBT, Military, Religion, Weather
Dan Savage is concerned that — with Texas quite possibly ripping itself from the federal Medicaid program –neighboring states' medical systems may find themselves faced with an onslaught of proudly-self-sufficient Lone Star refugees.
But, he has a possible solution for the problem…
"So if Texas withdraws from Medicaid we're going to have to secure the border. I'm thinking we're going to need a dang fence running along Texas's borders with New Mexico, Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Louisiana. Maybe an electrified one."
I'm thinking that Mexico might also want to consider building it's own fence to keep the Texans out just south of the one the Texans built to keep the Mexicans out.
Tags: Arkansas, Dan Savage, Economy, Health Care, Louisiana, Medicaid, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Texas