First they came for our table salt, and I didn't speak out because I'm really more of a pepper guy.
Then they came for our novelty-sized soft drinks, and I didn't speak out because I've been trying to limit myself to seltzer water, or maybe iced tea once in a while, because, to be honest, I've been getting a little round around the middle if you know what I mean.
Then they came for our baby formula, and I didn't speak out because– Wait a second. Baby formula? That's not for real, is it?
Mayor Bloomberg is pushing hospitals to hide their baby formula behind locked doors so more new mothers will breast-feed…
Under Latch On NYC, new mothers who want formula won’t be denied it, but hospitals will keep infant formula in out-of-the-way secure storerooms or in locked boxes like those used to dispense and track medications.
With each bottle a mother requests and receives, she'll also get a talking-to. Staffers will explain why she should offer the breast instead.
I've been wrong in my predictions before, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that this is going to go over incredibly well.
I've had the good fortune of meeting a few new mothers in my time, and if there's one way I would describe all of them, it would be as immensely open to lectures from complete strangers on how best to care for their children. New mothers love talking-tos! They love 'em! They'll take any advice they can get from absolutely anyone.
So, if you see a new mother on the street, just walk up to her and start telling her how wrong she is in how she's raising for her baby. She'll thank you. Take my word for it.
Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Babies, Men and Women, Michael Bloomberg, New York City, Women's Rights
Since the Office of the Chief Actuary is one data-gathering agency the House of Representatives has not yet managed to eliminate, the Social Security Administration was able to report, earlier this week, on the most popular baby names in 2010. A closer analysis reveals a divide between red states and blue states: when it comes to baby names, liberals are more conservative…
More progressive communities… tend to favor more old-fashioned names. Parents in more conservative areas come up with names that are more creative or androgynous.
"Sometimes people have a naive expectation that people who are politically conservative on social issues would name their kids in traditional ways, and it doesn’t always happen that way," says Andrew Gelman, a professor of statistics and political science at Columbia University and author of "Red State, Blue State, Rich State, Poor State."
The reason for more outlandish-sounding names cropping up in conservative quarters is simple, Wattenberg says. Women in red states tend to have their first children earlier than women in blue states. A 23-year-old mom is more likely to come up with something out of the ordinary than one who is 33.
Damn you, social science, for providing a reasonable explanation for why Levi Johnston came up with a name like Breeze Beretta for his second-born. I always thought "Beretta" was meant to honor the premature discharges that produce so many unplanned pregnancies in communities where Rick Santorum's sweater vest is the only acceptable method of contraception. Turns out it's just youthful exuberance.
For now, these correlations are all just fun and games, but as these children age, the progressive penchant for hyphenated surnames is going to combine with the conservative habit for outlandish first names to drive us all insane. Will we ever be ready for a 2052 presidential contest between Scottlynn Nevaeh Jones of Oklahoma versus Emma Abigail Huntington-Steinberg-Collins-Dorkhman of Vermont?
Photo by Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images
Tags: Babies, Children, Conservatives, Liberals
Bill Donohue's Catholic League weighs in on The Great Hilary Rosen Controversy of '12 via Twitter…
"Lesbian Dem Hilary Rosen tells Ann Romney she never worked a day in her life. Unlike Rosen, who had to adopt kids, Ann raised 5 of her own."
Nailed it! Aw man, nailed it so hard. And before anybody jumps on me, no, a point does not need a logical through-line for it to be awesome.
What it comes down to is this: If Hilary Rosen wasn't so busy being all lazy and lesbian and shit, maybe she would have found the time to be heterosexual and have five kids. Best point ever!
Tags: Ann Romney, Babies, Bill Donohue, Catholic Church, Hilary Rosen, LGBT, Religion
Last week, Mitt Romney's campaign sought to portray him as a compassionate, pro-woman family man. But it looks like he's still going to be a hard sell for female voters in the general election. In fact, not only does he seem to harbor disdain for women, doesn't even seem to like their breasts.
According to this gem unearthed by Buzzfeed, Romney angered breast-milk advocates during his time as governor of Massachusetts…
In 2006 the Massachusetts Department of Public Health sought to become the first state in the nation to ban giveaways women typically receive after giving birth. The gifts were generally a bag, sponsored by the baby formula companies, that contained infant formula along with coupons and other various items for newborns.
The Department of Public Health contended they were part of a corporate effort to stop women from breastfeeding their newborns and that breastfeeding was the healthier option…
Romney attacked the decision by the Department of Public Health as an intrusion of big government saying… "Let's let the moms decide."
Maybe Romney just thinks breasts are scary. As a devout Mormon, he probably didn't see his first nipple until he was married.
Despite its consequences for women and children's health, Romney's decision not to ban corporate-sponsored giveaways fits his overall pro-business ideology. Romney is deep in the pocket of Big Baby Formula, unlike Newt Gingrich, who is simply a big baby.
Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Babies, Children, Health, Health Care, Men and Women, Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans