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Bain Capital
  • Quote Unquote: Secretary of Dog Catching

    In the wake of recent Bain Capital revelations, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid speculates on Mitt Romney's theoretical ability to be theoretically confirmed to a theoretical cabinet position by the Senate

    .

    "He not only couldn't be confirmed as a cabinet secretary, he couldn't be confirmed as dog catcher."

    .

    Be that as it may, I don't think either of these two presidential candidates should placed in any kind of position of authority over dogs.


    Tags: Animals, Bain Capital, Harry Reid, Mitt Romney, Puppies!, Quote Unquote
  • Mitt Romney Forgets He Ran Bain Capital From 1999-2002

    Mitt Romney claims he left Bain Capital in 1999, which would mean he's not responsible for the companies that went bankrupt or the employees that were laid off after that period. But the Boston Globe reports SEC documents state Mitt Romney was the "sole stockholder, chairman of the board, chief executive officer, and president," until 2002.

    Seems like the one thing Mitt Romney and Willie Nelson have in common is neither of them remembers what they were up to from 1999-2002. Makes sense. He has the tendency of forgetting embarrassing moments in his life.

    This all raises the question, just what was Mitt Romney up to from 1999-2002. We have a few good ideas…

    * Being the hero Gotham deserves, not the one it needs.

    * Counting his sons.

    * Outsourcing the Winter Olympics to Salt Lake City, Utah.

    * Experimenting with calling himself a moderate.

    * Coming up with a new sandwich — a piece of white bread stuck between two pieces of white bread.

    * Writing "Romneycare" in bubble letters and hearts over and over again on a composition notebook.

    * Losing count of how many sons he has.

    Romney's campaign states he was listed as the boss of Bain for technical reasons. Like that he was technically the boss?

    Photo by Nicholas Kamm/AFP/Getty Images

     


    Tags: Bain Capital, Corporations, Mitt Romney
  • Democrats Discover That Attack Ads Work

    Despite the general sayings of nay from naysayers within the Democratic Party, it would appear as though the Obamateam has stumbled upon an unlikely but winning campaign strategy.

    Apparently, making your opponent look like a heartless Montgomery Burns-type millionaire tyrant will have some negative effects on his popularity

    Three quarters of those battleground state voters who say a political ad has shifted their opinion in the presidential race say they now support Obama and 16% say they are leaning towards Romney, according to the USA Today/Gallup Poll released Monday.

    Priorities has committed at least $10 million on ads airing in Colorado, Florida, Ohio, Pennsylvania and Virginia. Those ads include one which charges Romney profited heavily when companies owned by his financial firm went bankrupt.

    "Priorities USA's recent ad campaign on Romney’s record as CEO of Bain Capital had a clear negative impact on perceptions of Romney across a variety of metrics," the memo reads.

    This obviously flies in the face of the conventional Democratic wisdom that the best offense is to stand perfectly still and wait for everybody to realize how good at standing still you are.

    But I'm thinking they can maybe use some combination of the two.

    Photo by David Greedy/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Bain Capital, Barack Obama, Democrats, Mitt Romney, Polls
  • Obama Ad Calls Mitt Romney "Outsourcer-in-Chief" [VIDEO]

    Barack Obama just started running attack ads in Virginia, in which a thoughtful avuncular voice asks state voters if they really want "an outsourcer-in-chief in the White House"…

    First off, let me just say that I have very little to say about this ad. I suppose it fits in with the whole "Bain Capital is evil" meme that Bill Clinton hates so much. And that should resonate with Virginia voters. Unless it doesn't. (I know; quite profound.)

    Mostly, I just wanted to comment on how, when I first saw this, I thought Obama was calling Romney an "out-sorcerer-in-chief," which, whatever it is, sounds awesome! And I think I might have actually been a seventh-level half-elf one back in college.

    Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that this ad might actually work in Romney's favor, especially for voters who never talked to girls when they were in college.


    Tags: Bain Capital, Barack Obama, Corporations, Mitt Romney, Nerdiness, Unemployment, Virginia
  • Mitt Romney Knows Where the Jobs Are Hiding Because He Hid Them

    Over the course of his career at Bain Capital, Mitt Romney was responsible for the creation of thousands of jobs. Mostly in the midwest. Of Guangdong province

    Mitt Romney's financial company, Bain Capital, invested in a series of firms that specialized in relocating jobs done by American workers to new facilities in low-wage countries like China and India.

    During the nearly 15 years that Romney was actively involved in running Bain, a private equity firm that he founded, it owned companies that were pioneers in the practice of shipping work from the United States to overseas call centers and factories making computer components, according to filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission.

    The morality and economics of outsourcing are a bit murky. After all, the improvement in the livelihood of millions of Chinese and Indians has to count as one of the biggest success stories in economic history. And the lives of American consumers are improved by access to inexpensive foreign-made goods.

    But the politics aren't complicated at all…

    Speaking at a metalworking factory in Cincinnati last week, Romney cited his experience as a businessman, saying he knows what it would take to bring employers back to the United States. "For me it's all about good jobs for the American people and a bright and prosperous future," he said.

    He knows how to bring back jobs because he's the one who sent them away.

    And if the barrage of attack ads unleashed by the Obama campaign does manage to paint Romney as a job-destroying plutocrat, at least Bain Capital will be responsible for destroying a rich guy's career for once.

    Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Bain Capital, China, Economy, India, Mitt Romney