Here is some hilarious news from the Great State of Missouri, courtesy of Talking Points Memo. It's really just too great for additional commentary up top, so let TPM take it away!
State Rep. Timothy W. Jones (R-Eureka) of the Missouri House of Representatives was unanimously elected by the new Republican caucus to be the next Majority Floor Leader.
Why is that newsworthy? Because he was represented by "Birther Queen" Orly Taitz in a federal case alleging that President Barack Obama was secretly an Indonesian named Barry Soetoro and ineligible to be President of the United States.
Surely this can only mean great things for the people of Missouri! Oh, how their public schools are going to benefit from this particular foray into genius leadership!
Hopefully, the citizens of St. Louis are ready for their children to take Fart Noises 101 and Nodding in Unison 201 every day for the rest of their miserable little lives.
Tags: Barack Obama, Barry Soetoro, Birthers, Missouri, Orly Taitz, Republicans
Okay, so apparently there were a bunch of primary elections yesterday or something. But the only one that anybody really cared about was going on in California, where a very important conservative woman was running the race of her life for a highly prestigious seat of power…
Meg Whitman, the billionaire former eBay CEO, saw her more than $81 million investment in the gubernatorial primary pay off. She soundly defeated–
Yeah, blah blah blah blah blah. Meg Whitman won the nomination for governor or something. Whatever. C'mon, let's get to the important stuff…
Another female titan of the tech industry, former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina, won the GOP nomination for Senate, pitting her against three-term–
Gah! Does anybody care about Carly Fallerina or whoever? No! Nobody cares! What about Orly Taitz and the race for Secretary of State?!
[T]he anti-incumbent mood wasn't strong enough to help Orly Taitz, the woman best known for questioning whether President Obama is a natural born citizen, in herbid for the GOP nomination for secretary of state. She was defeated by former NFL player Damon Dunn, who now goes on to challenge Democratic Secretary of State Debra Bowen.
Nooooooooooooooooo!!! Ooooooooorrrrrrrrrrlllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Why! How could this travesty have happened?! How could the rational Republican people of California not have chosen you to be their nominee for Secretary of State? What? Did they not want to win in November? Did they not want a Secretary of State who would tackle the important issues facing the state, like bringing President Obama to justice for having been secretly born in an African village? What is wrong with this country?!
I'll tell you what it probably was. The Kenyan Secret Police. They're all over this country. You don't realize it, because they're quite devious. They have very long arms, figuratively speaking. And possibly literally speaking too. Barry Soetoro (aka Barack Obama, aka Professor Slaughter, aka Shub-Niggurath, the Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young) controls them with a hidden transmitter from the Oval Office. You think he was gonna let someone like Orly Taitz make it to higher office? Ha! That's a laugh!
I'll tell you something else. Everybody in California who did not vote for Orly Taitz is gonna have one hell of a law suit on their hands.
Tags: Barack Obama, Barry Soetoro, Birthers, California, Carly Fiorina, Meg Whitman, Republicans, Senate, Tea Party
Barry Soetoro — the Indonesian fundamentalist Muslim operative currently masquerading as Barack Hussein Obama and illegally holding the position of President of the United States hostage — lives to president another day.
And we have Monroe County, Tennessee to blame for this travesty of justice…
Walt Fitzpatrick, of Sweetwater, has long sought an indictment against President Barack Obama on treason charges, appeared before the Monroe County Grand Jury Tuesday seeking to bring treason charges against the president. Monroe County is one of the few places in the country where a citizen can present a case to the grand jury. In most areas, only a prosecutor can bring a case to the grand jury…
The grand jury indictments will be sealed until Dec. 7, but Fitzpatrick's comments after he came out of the grand jury room indicated he did not get what he wanted.
Fitzpatrick told his followers lined up outside the Monroe County Courthouse that it appeared like he would have the case heard in another county.
Maybe it's just as well. When the feds finally do catch up with Barry "The Scimitar" Soetoro, one thing's for sure: He won't go quietly, see. He'll take down this whole country, see. One push of a button and Kablammo! You'll pay! You'll all pay, see!
And he would've gotten away with it if it were for you meddling birthers!
Tags: Barack Obama, Barry Soetoro, Birthers, Conspiracies, Tennessee