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Ben Nelson
  • Unemployment Extension Fails in Senate Yet Again

    It seems that when Robert Byrd left Capitol Hill for a better place*, he took with him his party's hopes of passing wasteful legislation that would have helped unemployed Americans feed their families

    The Senate rejected Wednesday — for the fourth time — a bill that would have reauthorized extended benefits for the long-term unemployed, by a vote of 58 to 38. Democrats will not make another effort to break the Republican filibuster before adjourning for the July 4 recess…

    Only two Republicans, Sens. Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins of Maine, crossed the aisle to support the measure. That gave Democrats 59 of the 60 votes they needed to break the GOP filibuster, but without the late Sen. Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.), Nebraska Democrat Ben Nelson's nay vote was enough to kill the bill.

    38 senators voted against this? Don't you just hate senators who vote against unpopular bills, solely to get votes in November? If you can you think of a better way to curry favor with voters than striking down legislation that would allow people to eat, I'd like to hear it.


    * Even if you reject the idea of Heaven and believe that Sen. Byrd's "better place" is nothing more than a cold, dark, worm-infested hole in the ground, this is still meets the criteria.

    Tags: 4th of July, Ben Nelson, Olympia Snowe, Robert Byrd, Senate, Susan Collins, Unemployment
  • Sen. Ben Nelson Has Never Used an ATM, But Don't Worry, He Knows All About the Holograms

    Sen. Ben Nelson (D-Neb) — whom you might remember as the guy who kept voting with Republicans to block finance reform — just doesn't see the point in limiting ATM fees to just 50 cents per transaction.

    To begin with, doesn't anybody actually even understand what these ATM things are, much less know how to use them?

    The Nebraska Democrat pleaded ignorance when asked this week whether Congress should cap ATM fees. Nelson said that while he's no fan of unnecessary fees, he's unfamiliar with the charges.

    "I've never used an ATM, so I don't know what the fees are," Nelson said, adding that he gets his cash from bank tellers, just not automatic ones. "It's true, I don't know how to use one. But I could learn how to do it just like I've… I swipe to get my own gas, buy groceries. I know about the holograms."

    Oh, so he does know about the holograms! Whew! I was afraid that maybe he was completely out of touch with how the modern world works.

    Okay, Senator Nelson, this whole ATM thing is very simple. It works like this: You how when you wave your ATM card and the hologram man appears in front of you and says that he will grant you three futuristic wishes using technology? Right, well, the fees go toward buying food for the nanobots that fuel his science wand. But they're nanobots — they're very small — so they don't need to eat a lot. Fifty cents is more than enough money to buy all the gigabytes that the nanobots can eat.

    Anything above 50 cents is probably being used by the banks to build robot monkeys for their army. And do we really need to be contributing to that army? In this economy?

    You see, Sen. Nelson. It's all pretty straightforward when it's explained right.

    (via The War Room)

    Tags: Banks, Ben Nelson, Money, Science & Technology, Senate
  • Today in Filibustering: GOP Stops Stopping Financial Regulatory Reform, for Now

    They only lasted three days. Yesterday evening Senate Republicans (and Ben "The Cash Receptacle of Omaha" Nelson) dropped their filibuster of financial regulatory reform, which does not mean that financial regulatory reform passed, only that the Senate can begin discussing financial regulatory reform. Some people think that might be a helpful thing to have.

    Well, guess what? The GOP has a brand-new strategy

    After voting three times this week to block debate, GOP senators decided to reverse course and attempt to reshape the bill through the amendment process.

    So in the coming weeks, look for a number of exciting amendments to be introduced on the Senate floor: "An Amendment to Do the Exact Opposite of Whatever Harry Reid Says," "An Amendment to Feed Harry Reid to This Hungry Wolverine Right Here," "An Amendment to Remind Olympia Snowe That We Know Where She Lives," "An Amendment to Require the Recitation of the Entire New York City Telephone Book Before Any Vote on This Bill," etc.


    Tags: Banks, Ben Nelson, Economy, Republicans, Senate
  • Senate GOP, Ben Nelson Really Getting the Hang of This Blocking Financial Reform Thing

    For the third straight day in a row, Senate Republicans and Democrat Ben Nelson have voted to block discussion of financial regulation reform

    Senate Republicans blocked progress on financial-overhaul legislation for the third straight day Wednesday. The Senate voted 56-42 on a procedural motion early Wednesday afternoon, with Democrats again falling short of the 60 votes needed to start actual debate on the bill. Democratic Sen. Ben Nelson of Nebraska again sided with a unified GOP caucus against the motion

    Coincidentally, for also the third straight day in a row, Sen. Ben Nelson has had millions of dollars worth of stock in a company that was originally supposed to get a sweetheart deal in this bill but, at the last minute, did not…

    Senator Ben Nelson owned with his wife as much as $6 million worth of stock in Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway Inc. and supported an exemption to proposed derivatives rules sought by the Omaha, Nebraska, company

    "It doesn't influence my decision at all; never has, never will," said Nelson, who was governor from 1991 to 1999.

    Coincidences are so coincidental, aren't they? I mean, seriously, what are the odds? They must be astronomical. Am I right? (I'm pretty sure I'm right.)

    Tags: Ben Nelson, Democrats, Financial Reform, Money, Republicans, Senate
  • Ben Nelson Pleased That "Cornhusker Kickback" Given the Ol' Cornhusker Kickback

    Remember back when Ben Nelson was holding the Senate health care bill hostage unless his fellow Democrats agreed to include something or other about a "Cornhusker Kickback" to it?

    Well, now that the "Cornhusker Kickback" has been stripped from the bill, Nelson is all smiley about how happy he is about that. Apparently, he only fought so hard to get it added because he wanted to make sure it got dropped, because okay whatever…

    Sen. Ben Nelson (D-Neb.) on Monday said he was pleased with the White House's decision to strip from its healthcare proposal extra Medicaid money slated for his home state.

    Over a month ago, Nelson called on Democrats to get rid of the so-called "Cornhusker Kickback," which Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) originally offered to Nelson to help win him over as the 60th vote on the Senate's healthcare reform bill last December.

    Look, I don't know much about this "Cornhusker Kickback" or why everyone's so happy it's been killed, but I do know that I'm sick and tired of gay people having their lifestyles endlessly picked over by government. Can't we just let them live their lives in peace without Congressional oversight?

    Tags: Barack Obama, Ben Nelson, Health Care, LGBT, Medicare, Nebraska, Senate