Ben Quayle Is Coming for You, Congress

The big news in Arizona politics is that John McCain — who has been busy these past couple years doing his best impersonation of a douchebag — yesterday managed to beat natural born douchebag JD Hayworth in the state's GOP senatorial primary. And it only cost him $20 million to do so. That's quite a bargain.

However, the lesser and more interesting news is that Dan Quayle's 33-year-old son Ben is one step closer to making his congressional bones representing the state's 3rd district, having won 23 percent of the vote in the 10-way primary race. You remember Ben Quayle, don't you? He's this guy…

"Barack Obama… is the worst… president… in history."

It's a shame that both he and his soon-to-be-colleague Michele Bachmann are married, huh? They could have made such beautifully ridiculous babies.

So, what's it take to win a 10-way primary race? Well, besides having half of a former vice president's DNA? Who knows? Does it even matter?

Along with name recognition, Quayle had the advantage of money, relying on the help of his father's connections to raise $1.3 million for his campaign. Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld contributed to his campaign, the Associated Press reported, and former President George H.W. Bush and his wife Barbara hosted a fundraiser for him.

Just your average everyday small business guy, pulling himself up by his own diamond-encrusted bootstraps.

Tags: Arizona, Ben Quayle, Dan Quayle, Donald Rumsfeld, George W. Bush, House of Representatives, JD Hayworth, John McCain, Primaries, Senate

Ben Quayle Seems Like a Relatively Reasonable Guy Who Is Clearly Not a Joke

Hey, do you remember that guy Dan Quayle? Used to be our vice president? Kind a handsome conservative male version of a street lamp*? Potatoe? Yep, that's him.

Anyway, that guy had a son, and that son is running for Congress in Arizona. And not the good, iced tea version of Arizona…

"Barack Obama… is the worst… president… in history."

It's nice to see that the guy is really trying to keep his conservative rhetoric at a reasonable level, so as to appropriately serious about the job he's applying for and not like a ridiculous caricature of a Tea Party candidate. I mean, he could have said something ridiculously hyperbolic, like "Barack Obama is a half-arachnid super-villain," or "Barack Obama is not made of normal matter like you and I, but pure solid-state Socialism." But he didn't. He kept it clean. And I respect that.

Unfortunately, that kind of sober-minded campaigning might just hurt him in Arizona.

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^{* Fun fact: Most street lamps are female and liberal. It's been proven with Science.}

Tags: Arizona, Barack Obama, Ben Quayle, Dan Quayle, House of Representatives, Tea Party