Tweet Roundup: President Beyonce

Judge Roberts pointed the Bible the wrong direction and now Beyonce is president. Rules are rules.

— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) January 21, 2013

It was hard to tell if that was actually Beyonce singing the National Anthem since we never saw her thighs.

— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) January 21, 2013

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Tags: Barack Obama, Beyonce, Inauguration, Jay-Z, Joe Biden, Michelle Obama, Tweet Roundup

How to Throw President Obama a Good Party

In a press conference today, President Obama made the following comment: "Most people who know me know I'm a pretty friendly guy. And I like a good party."

If you analyze this quote with zero context, you'll probably come to one of two conclusions: A.) The President was doing a dated, mean-spirited impression of Mitt Romney, or B.) He was summarizing the basic theme of every Black Eyed Peas song he's ever heard.

Assuming Obama is being honest and he is not a president who hates a good party (like, say, a President Nixon or a President Grumpy Cat) the question remains, what constitutes a "good party" for President Obama?

* Chips and salsa, paid for with taxes collected from the one percent.

* Plenty of beer, in case he wants to throw an impromptu beer summit.

* Beyonce. She's always invited to his parties.

* Joe Biden is not allowed anywhere near the DJ booth, lest he play Jefferson Starship all night.

* John Boehner is also not allowed. If he didn't let Obama raise the debt ceiling, imagine the fuss he'd make over Obama raising the roof.

All this, of course, presumes President Obama is not referring to a political party. Everyone knows there's no such thing as a good political party.

Previously
Barack Obama Now Bribing Voters with Beer
Key & Peele: Obama's Most Inspirational College Party Ever

Photo by Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Images

Tags: Barack Obama, Beyonce, Joe Biden, John Boehner

A Guide to Musical Pandering at the Inauguration

Say what you will about President Obama's performance as chief executive, the man's doing a pretty good job as the head of America's P.R. department.

His team knows the Inauguration is a perfect opportunity to appeal to as many demographics as possible, which would explain the musical performers who were announced today.

But the question remains, who is the Obama administration targeting with each performer? Specifically?

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Tags: Barack Obama, Beyonce, Inauguration, James Taylor, Jay-Z, Joe Biden, Kanye West, Kelly Clarkson, Music