Herman Cain's Creepiness Leaves No Woman Behind

When information surfaced that the National Restaurant Association settled two sexual harassment complaints registered against Herman Cain, reaction from Cain allies was swift and certain. Where was the pizza stained dress? If the sauce isn't spilt', you must acquit, cried National Review's resident pervert John Derbyshire…

Is there anyone who thinks sexual harassment is a real thing? Is there anyone who doesn't know it's all a lawyers' ramp, like 'racial discrimination'? You pay a girl a compliment nowadays, she runs off and gets lawyered up. Is this any way to live?

Perhaps the creepy old man is right. How can we trust allegations made 11-14 years ago, when Cain was neither rich nor famous, which were actually settled by the NRA for considerable sums of money? Real social conservatives, like Bill Bennett,  know that for sexual harassment allegations to be taken seriously, they have to follow the rule of four…

Four women are not an insignificant number. One or two anonymous charges, perhaps. Three anonymous charges (where, as I understand the story, Cain knows of at least two of the women) plus one woman who went very public and opened herself up to all manner of investigation are a lot. It is no longer insignificant.

And if four charges — including an accusation of sexual assault — are "no longer insignificant," what happens when a fifth woman steps forward to accuse Cain of inappropriate behavior, noting that Cain asked her to set up a date between himself and a young woman who attended a speech delivered by Cain in Egypt nine years ago?

[Donna] Donella, who no longer works for [the United States Agency for International Development], said they were suspicious of Cain's motives and declined to set up the date. Cain responded, "Then you and I can have dinner." That's when two female colleagues intervened and suggested they all go to dinner together, Donella said.

Cain exhibited no inappropriate sexual behavior during the dinner, though he did order two $400 bottles of wine and stuck the women with the bill, she said.

After woman number five, I'm 9-9-point-9 percent certain that at the very least, Cain is a cheap creepy man.

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Bill Bennett, Herman Cain, John Derbyshire, National Review, Primaries, Republicans, Scandalgate

Esteban Colberto on Obama's South American Visit

Yesterday, it was Fox News speculating that President Obama and Hugo Chavez poked peckers back at the hotel, and now Bill Bennett is imagining Obama was giving Chavez a handy right in front of God and everyone. So, turns out conservatives are primarily against gay marriage because they like their man-on-man sex forbidden and adulterous. Preferably all wet and wind-blown in a gathering storm.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Tags: Barack Obama, Bill Bennett, Hugo Chavez, South America, Stephen Colbert, Video

Jon Stewart's Top 7 Most Vicious Take Downs

Sometimes you tune in to The Daily Show because you're interested to see what kind of comedic insight the slightly-nerdy and generally-amicable Jon Stewart has to offer for the day's headlines.

And other times, you just want blood.

Here's a collection of some of Jon's most ruthless, gloves-off moments from The Daily Show…

Lou Dobbs

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Tags: Bill Bennett, Chris Matthews, Jim Cramer, Jon Stewart, Lou Dobbs, The Daily Show, William Kristol

Bill Bennett: Pres. Obama Means No More Excuses, Black People

CNN's Bill Bennett just posited that an Obama presidency would mean the end of racism as a reason for black under-achievement. To which I quote Chris Rock, "Don't let Shaq fool you."

But seriously, blacks. You got your president. No more complaining. Now shut up before the old white gambling addict comes over to lower the crime rate by aborting the fuck out of all of you.

Tags: Barack Obama, Bill Bennett