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William Kristol
  • The Most Important Jews in Politics of 5768-69: Seventh Night – Bill Kristol

    Bill Kristol

    I don't know Bill Kristol. He doesn't belong to my synagogue and we didn't go to school together, but I'm pretty sure I'd be able to pick him out on the playground 40 years ago -– if the Collegiate School's Prepatory Academy for Boys had a playground.

    Bill was the kid who did the bully's homework for him and then deluded himself into thinking the bully was his friend. Perhaps, little Bill even tried to affect some of that bully's power by tormenting his more socially-afflicted friends. By embracing something seemingly stronger, more mainstream and "American," he hoped to shake loose the shackles of his Jewish nerdom and acquire a sense of everyman -– a Manhattan elite, Ivy Leauge educated, national publication-editing everyman.

    Of course, this is all just conjecture, but it would explain Kristol's fascination with George W. Bush in 2000. Over and over, he extolled Bush's simple, old-fashioned integrity while lambasting Gore as a shifty, bookish nightmare. Perhaps, Gore was a dark reminder of Kristol's own tortured past. A past that included studying for tests, understanding Earth science, and pronouncing "nuclear" correctly.

    And in 2008, Bill earned his place on this list by being one of Sarah Palin's biggest supporters. His magazine, The Weekly Standard, defended this all-American, no-nonsense, right-as-rain sweetheart to the end. I have to wonder, after all that do you think she kissed his cheek and told him that for a New York Jew, he was "A-OK" in her book? Gee, I certainly hope so.

    It would be a shame to think he helped saddle a cancer-ridden, geriatric Presidential candidate with a woefully unqualified running mate for anything less.

    Go back to the sixth night.

    Tags: Hanukkah, Jewish, William Kristol
  • Bill Kristol Likes The Lions' Super Bowl Chances

    Foreign Policy has come out with their list of the year's worst predictions. There are some real doozies in there (remember when the LHC destroyed the planet? LOL), but it's hard to beat the winner, which comes from The New York Times' William Kristol:

    “If [Hillary Clinton] gets a race against John Edwards and Barack Obama, she’s going to be the nominee. Gore is the only threat to her, then. … Barack Obama is not going to beat Hillary Clinton in a single Democratic primary. I’ll predict that right now.”

    Man, what a dummy. But I'm just glad Foreign Policy never saw the blog post I wrote in January entitled I Guarantee President-Elect Duncan Hunter Will Name Paul Newman Secretary of Hoverboards.

    Tags: William Kristol
  • Countdown to Electiony: 18 Days

    Did you know that, in addition to the four sitting presidents we lost to assassination, there have been an additional 18 attempts on presidents' lives?

    This, to me, is the best argument I've heard yet for John McCain's choice of Sarah Palin as his running mate.

    I mean, not only can I guarantee that there will not be a single attempt on McCain's life, but I'm betting that — in event of a McCain administration — every one of the 305,429,000 citizens of the country will do everything in his or her pwer to keep that guy healthy and capable for the next four years.

    With the possible exception of Bill Kristol. Just to be on the safe side, I'd keep that guy away from the president's food.

    Tags: Election Countdown, John McCain, Sarah Palin, William Kristol
  • Bill Kristol Still Hoping for Jeremiah Wright Redux

    Hawkish New York Times neo-con Bill Kristol frequently gets accused of being stuck in the 1980's. Turns out, he's made it all the way up to this year's primary season.

    Kristol weighs in today with a solution for John McCain's current campaign woes, and it reeks of mid-April: Bring back Jeremiah Wright

    The McCain campaign might consider responding by calling attention to Chapter 14 of Obama's eloquent memoir, "Dreams From My Father." There Obama quotes from the brochure of Reverend Wright's church — a passage entitled "A Disavowal of the Pursuit of Middleclassness."

    Considering that Kristol got his op-ed column through The New York Times' own version of affirmative action, he should have second thoughts about playing the race card in this election.

    Besides, if we're re-introducing the skeezy reverend quotient to the campaign, Barack Obama could always remind voters of McCain supporter Pastor John Hagee, who committed an act far more shameful than anything Jeremiah Wright did…

    He sponsored a conference headlined by Joe Lieberman.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Jeremiah Wright, John McCain, New York Times, William Kristol
  • Joe Lieberman: Is Barack Obama a Commie Terrorist? I'm Glad You Asked!

    Yesterday on Fox News radio, senior judicial analyst Judge Andrew Napolitano posed the question: is Barack Obama a Marxist?

    Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Middle Earth) quickly clarified: that's not a question. That's a good question

    NAPOLITANO: Hey Sen. Lieberman, you know Barack Obama, is he a Marxist as Bill Kristol says might be the case in today's New York Times? Is he an elitist like your colleague Hillary Clinton says he is?

    LIEBERMAN: Well, you know, I must say that's a good question. I know him now for a little more than three years since he came into the Senate and he's obviously very smart and he's a good guy. I will tell ya that during this campaign, I've learned some things about him, about the kind of environment from which he came ideologically. And I wouldn't…I'd hesitate to say he's a Marxist, but he's got some positions that are far to the left of me and I think mainstream America.

    Well, that answers that! Perhaps Lieberman's savvy analytical approach could shed some light on another rumor that's plagued this campaign: is Barack Obama a Muslim? That's a good question. I'd hesitate to say he's a Muslim, but he sure is more Muslimy than I am. So does this mean Barack Obama is, in fact, a Muslim Marxist? That's a fantastic, insightful, entirely plausible question.

    Actually… huh. Can Muslims be Marxist? Is that even possible, ideologically speaking?

    It sounds outlandish, so I guess I'll just go with yes.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Fox, Joe Lieberman, Karl Marx, William Kristol