Bill Richardson Gives Sigh of Relief as He Drops Out of Commerce Role, Into Career-Ending Scandal

Jeeze. I can't say that the prospect of taking over the role as Secretary of Commerce in the current economic environment would be on the top of my to-do list.

But getting yourself implicated in a pay-to-play scandal just to create an excuse to drop-out gracelessly seems a bit harsh…

The Cabinet that President-elect Barack Obama picked on a fast track has an unexpected opening, with New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, Obama's choice for commerce secretary, withdrawing under pressure of a federal investigation into how his political donors landed a lucrative transportation contract…

"I have concluded that the ongoing investigation also would have forced an untenable delay in the confirmation process," Richardson said in a statement. "Given the gravity of the economic situation the nation is facing, I could not in good conscience ask the president-elect and his administration to delay for one day the important work that needs to be done."…

Obama spokesman Robert Gibbs said he expected a new commerce secretary would be chosen soon but didn't have a timetable.

I imagine it's gonna take some time to find somebody with Richardson's unique qualifications willing to take that thankless job.

And, by that, I mean somebody willing to take that thankless job.

Tags: Bill Richardson, Corruption, New Mexico, Obama Administration

Bill Richardson Joins Obama Administration to Excitement of None

Today, Barack Obama officially announced that New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson will be stepping up as Secretary of Making Sure There's a Latino in the Administration.

I was going to embed some footage from the press conference, but then I remembered that I really don't care all that much — and we wrote about this two weeks ago — so, instead, I'm gonna embed this…

There's gotta be room somewhere in the administration for that chicken.

There just has to be.

Tags: Barack Obama, Bill Richardson, Obama Administration

Bill Richardson Asked to Join Cabinet, Because What the Hell?

While we're on the subject of people who are supposed to keep us from complete financial collapse, it's looking like Barack Obama will be calling upon early-Hope-adopter Bill Richardson to fill the role of Secretary of Commerce…

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson has emerged as a "serious contender" to head the Commerce Department under President-elect Barack Obama, according to a Democratic official close to the proceedings…

Richardson spent 15 years in the U.S. House — from 1982 to 1997 — before being named by then President Bill Clinton as the U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations. A year later Richardson became Secretary of Energy in the Clinton Cabinet.

I have no idea how any of that stuff makes him qualified "to foster, promote, and develop the foreign and domestic commerce." I'm guessing it doesn't.

But what I do know is that William Blaine "Bill" Richardson III is Hispanic (and how couldn't he be with a name like that?), and that makes him uniquely qualified to replace the current Secretary of Commerce, Carlos Miguel Gutierrez.

He also helps Barack Obama round out the United Colors of Benettonosity of his cabinet.

Tags: Bill Richardson, Economy, Obama Administration

Governor Tim Kaine's Freakish Eyebrow Will Take Down the Democratic Party

Time to cross Virginia's Democratic Governor Tim Kaine off the short list for Barack Obama's running mate.

The man has no chance of being elected to the second-highest office in the Free World because — and this is so obvious I almost feel foolish reporting it — his left eyebrow is inadequate.

According to Roll Call, the newspaper of Capitol Hill…

Kaine's brows — arched, wiggly and what most people remember from the Democrat's rebuttal to the State of the Union speech in 2006 — have become one of the chief objections from some pundits to Kaine taking a spot on the Democratic ticket.

News media in Kaine's home state couldn't agree more. The Hampton Roads Daily Press has published its "Top 10 Reasons Not To Choose Kaine," and topping the list — ahead of minimal name recognition and lack of foreign policy experience — was The Eyebrow.

While this news illuminates the obvious point that Tim Kaine must no longer be allowed around children — much less the White House — it raises problems for Obama as he searches for a running mate without a grotesque deformity.

Whether it's Bill Richardson and his creepy goatee or Hillary Clinton and her second X chromosome, most of Obama's VP options possess physical quirks even more distracting than the Senator's own ears.

This is not to say that John McCain has it much easier. Anyone taken a close look at Joe Lieberman's jowls recently?

Tags: Barack Obama, Bill Richardson, Hillary Clinton, Joe Lieberman, John McCain, Tim Kaine, Veepstakes, Virginia

Fellow Ex-Candidates Jump on Hillary Clinton's T-Shirt Bandwagon

Hillary Clinton needs your help. See, she spent a lot of money recently, and she's trying to recoup a little. We've all been there, right?

So she's selling these t-shirts. It's an inspiring message. But it turns out she's not the only candidate looking for a little reimbursement — other ex-candidates are hitting the t-shirt trail as well:

Mitt Romney:

Chris Dodd, Bill Richardson, Joe Biden, Dennis Kucinich and Duncan Hunter:

Mike Gravel:

Mike Huckabee:

Rudy Giuliani:

Ron Paul:

Tags: Bill Richardson, Chris Dodd, Dennis Kucinich, Duncan Hunter, Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, Mike Gravel, Mike Huckabee, Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani