Remember when Republicans and Democrats used to have a sense of humor about working towards a greater good, even if they disagreed on how to get there? Neither do we, these pictures notwithstanding…
If there's anything the left and right have in common anymore, it's that they both love to laugh at the other's expense. This is especially true on Twitter, the ultimate cesspool of silly, biting and sometimes crass one-liners. Here at Indecision, our hope is to get everyone to laugh at themselves a little more, or at least to laugh at everyone equally. With that in mind, we're going to do a weekly democratic tweet-off between liberal and conservative jokesters. Be objective. Consider the issues. Then vote in the comments section. Next Friday we'll let you know who won.
Reach your funny bone across the aisle and get ready to RAAL!
IN THE LEFT CORNER
If Paul Ryan's fitness plan were like his budget plan, he'd eat nothing but potato chips for the next decade and promise to work out in 2022
— Josh Barro (@jbarro) August 17, 2012
IN THE RIGHT CORNER
— AlinskyDefeater (@AlinskyDefeater) August 17, 2012
Photos by David Ake/AFP/Getty Images and Boston Globe/Getty Images
Tags: Barack Obama, Bipartisanship, Democrats, Joe Biden, Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, RAAL, Republicans, Twitter
If you've watched cable news anytime in the last year, it probably seems like Democrats and Republicans can't agree on anything anymore. Fights about non-controversial items like payroll tax cuts and paying interest on our national debt turn into long drawn-out political battles on a weekly, if not daily, basis.
But according to researchers, Democrats and Republicans don't disagree any more than they did 40 years ago…
Tags: Barack Obama, Bipartisanship, Democrats, John Boehner, Republicans
When President Obama came to the White House three years ago, he proudly promised to usher in a new post-partisan era of cooperation and collegiality. Unfortunately, no one could hear him over the sound of John Boehner laughing.
Hoping to score some political points at the State of the Union address this year, Boehner is using his guest list as an opportunity to shame Obama into supporting the environmentally questionable Keystone XL Pipeline…
House Speaker John Boehner's office released his guest list for the State of the Union address, saying his invitees are "local leaders and job creators hurt by the president's decision to reject the Keystone XL Pipeline."
"The president owes America's workers an explanation, and I hope he will provide one tonight with these leaders and job creators on hand," Boehner said in a statement.
Boehner's cadre of leaders and "job creators" includes a Nebraska state senator, two oil company managers and a pipe company president. Oh, those poor unfortunate oil men! Now they'll have to stop plundering the earth for fuel and destroying the environment. Obama is so cruel.
Why did Boehner stop at oil company managers? There are plenty of charity cases out there. There's the Wall Street executive forced to sell one of his five yachts due to financial reform, there's the ex-congressman compelled to take a lucrative lobbying job, and of course, there's the former management consulting billionaire and Massachusetts governor forced to beg for votes in the 2012 Republican primary.
Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Bipartisanship, Energy & Oil, House of Representatives, John Boehner, State of the Union
They’ve passed a bill that will keep the fed running through next year, preventing yet another disruptive government shutdown scare…
By a vote of 296-121, the House on Friday passed legislation to complete funding of the federal government through the end of the fiscal year on September 30. Eighty-six Republicans and 35 Democrats each voted against their party leaders on the measure…
To avoid the risk of even a temporary government shutdown, the House also passed a brief stopgap measure called a continuing resolution, which, if needed, will buy the Senate time to complete all of its work, in the event that it lasts into or through the weekend.
Well done, congressmen, well done. You actually did your job. You're the 10th-year senior who finally got it together and graduated with a communications degree. In any other country, this would be a sign of severe dysfunction, the first stage of complete democratic collapse. But in America's hysterical hyper-partisan environment, it's a major milestone. Congrats. You didn't fail.
I know, I know. It's hard to be a public servant and actually serve the public these days. Special interests are throwing themselves at you, offering to suck your copyright bill in return for financial favors. But you have to be strong! For the children — the children whose health and education programs you probably just cut.
Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Bipartisanship, House of Representatives, Taxes
Seriously, girls, Mitch McConnell could not care less about this stupid effing call for Democrats and Republicans to sit together at the State of the Union address. And he wants you to know why…
"I mean the seating arrangement at the SOTU in the end is going to mean absolutely nothing," McConnell told a gathering of journalists and DC observer-types gathered by Politico this morning. "The question is can we come together on substantive issues."
Then, just like any other bitchy high school girl, he made with the sarcasm…
"I think from the president's point of view it ends up being distracting because cameras may be for example on teams that are sitting around in the audience. 'Who's sitting with who? My goodness there's Sen. Gillibrand [D-NY] sitting with Senator Thune [R-SD]!'"
Well, maybe it doesn't mean anything to Mitch McConnell, but it means something to some of us! Some of us having been eagerly anticipating the unveiling of the SOTU seating arrangements since forever ago. Some of us have a lot riding on who sits with whom. Some of us are going to have to pay a very big, very mean loan shark tons and tons of our hard-earned ducats if Krissy Gillibrand doesn't sit with Johnny Thune, and we're having a really hard time laughing about this whole thing, okay, Mitch?!?!?!
Tags: Bipartisanship, John Thune, Kirsten Gillibrand, Mitch McConnell, Senate, State of the Union