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Blackwater
  • Darrell Issa Investigates: Zombie ACORN on the Loose!

    Yaaawwwn. Just another sunny day in America, where we no longer have to fear the evil Marx-monster ACORN and its vote-stealing, Census-helping, pimp-enabling habits because OH MY GOD what is lurking in the shadows that just fell across our sunny, democratic day?

    [A] report from California Rep. Darrell Issa, the top Republican on the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, includes details of a recent business transaction between ACORN and a California affiliate that broke away this year and changed its name in a bid to start anew.

    "ACORN is attempting to rebrand itself without instituting real reforms or removing senior leadership figures that need to be held accountable for wrongdoing," Issa said in a press release. "These newly renamed organizations are like career criminals who adopt aliases without changing their criminal lifestyles."

    The document, titled "Asset Transfer and License agreement" shows that Bertha Lewis, chief executive of ACORN, sold the group's assets to the newly formed Alliance of Californians for Community Empowerment (ACCE) in exchange for cash.

    ACCE has hired former ACORN employees, purchased the ACORN database of dues-paying members and bought a database with "e-mail contact information for approximately 16,202 potential contributors residing in California.

    Well, at least he's consistent. Darrell Issa has always had strong feelings about shady organizations who adopt new names without changing their criminal ways.


    Tags: ACORN, Blackwater, California, Darrell Issa, Republicans
  • Trey Parker and Matt Stone Respond to Eric Cartman's Recent Illegal Activities in Afghanistan

    Yesterday, news broke that members of the evil mercenary group formerly known as "Blackwater" have not only been stealing guns from Afghan police and selling them to Afghan drug dealers (because did we even expect anything otherwise?), but also blaming it on South Park character Eric Cartman.

    Well, The Huffington Post's Alex Leo got a chance to talk to Eric Cartman's parents — Trey Parker and Matt Stone — and find out what they think of all this hubbub

    "It makes perfect sense. It's the name I would use," Trey Parker said. "Our first reaction to any story is 'How do we put this into the show?' and the second reaction is 'Did Cartman do that?' because he's so real to us it's like 'I bet Cartman did that.'"

    "I saw that and thought, 'Wow, Cartman did that? That's pretty cool. Sounds like something he would do,'" Matt Stone agreed.

    And, while we're already kind of sorta not really on the subject, can they please let us know once and for all if they're liberals or conservatives, because I can never figure out if I'm supposed to be laughing or shaking my fist and then writing angry prose poetry in my journal…

    When I asked them which group they've pissed of the most over the years, they both said "liberals." "Liberal people got mad at us for 'Team America' — that's the most I've felt it. [The movie] came out right before the Bush/Kerry election and I think we fucked up. I don't think we should've timed it that way," Matt explained. "Because it came out right before the election, liberals were waiting for it as this big anti-Bush statement, and there's plenty of stuff in there that is anti-Bush, but we never would've spent three years of our lives making a movie just to make a statement two weeks before the election. Some people felt like it was a big betrayal."…

    Both men were adamant that the show has no political affiliation. "I would never want the show to be a Democrat show or Republican show, because for us the show's more important than that. It isn't for everybody else in the world, but it is for us. We don't want you to come to it thinking, 'These guys are going to bash liberals,'" Matt explained…

    "Ripping on Republicans is not that fun for us only because everyone else does it," Matt explained. "It's so much more fun for us to rip on liberals only because nobody else does it, and not because we think liberals are worse than Republicans but, just because…"

    "…it's like fresh snow. I mean how're you gonna rip on Sarah Palin in a new way?" Trey pointed out.

    "In a new way"? Why would any of us want to rip on Sarah Palin in a new way? I already spent a long afternoon writing my Sarah Palin jokes over a year ago. I'm not about to go and start over from scratch now.

    .

    Watch the season premiere of South Park on Wednesday, March 17 at 10pm / 9c.


    Tags: Afghanistan, Blackwater, Conservatives, Drugs, Guns, Liberals, Matt Stone, Movies, Sarah Palin, South Park, Trey Parker
  • Eric Cartman Allegedly Stole 200-Plus Rifles from Afghan Police for Blackwater

    Ugh, Blackwater! It's like an endless pit of depressing news. The U.S. never should have given them so much authoritah

    Employees of the CIA-connected private security corporation Blackwater diverted hundreds of weapons, including more than 500 AK-47 assault rifles, from a U.S. weapons bunker in Afghanistan intended to equip Afghan policemen, according to an investigation by the Senate Armed Services Committee. On at least one occasion, an individual claiming to work for the company evidently signed for a weapons shipment using the name of a "South Park" cartoon character

    On one of those occasions, in September 2008, Chief Warrant Officer Greg Sailer, who worked at 22 Bunkers and is a friend of a Blackwater officer working in Afghanistan, signed over more than 200 AK-47s to an individual identified as "Eric Cartman" or possibly "Carjman" from Blackwater's Counter Narcotics Training Unit.

    A Blackwater lawyer told committee staff that no one by those names has ever been employed by the company.

    As of press time, Blackwater CEO Big Gay Al could not be reached for comment.


    Tags: Afghanistan, Blackwater, Corruption, Guns, Military, Scandalgate, Senate, South Park