Our Endorsements: Mitt Romney Can't Not Tell a Lie

* Mitt Romney knows not of what he speaks, from Jimmy Kimmel.

* Feeling old? The Onion says blame Obama.

* First, Ellen. Now, Jimmy Fallon. Michelle Obama may be a bit competitive.

* From Funny or Die, controversial Congressman Hoekstra has a new ad.

* An important message from the U.S. Bureau of Chronology, via McSweeney's.

* President Obama could shoot Newt Gingrich to the moon with this marshmallow cannon gun.

Tags: Barack Obama, Bo Obama, Daily Links, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Michelle Obama, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum

From the Pork Barrel: Tweetering the Dog

* As a sort of playful jab at Mitt Romney, David Axelrod tweeted a picture of President Obama throttling his dog. Ha ha! Very playful!

* In an amazing turn of events that no one could have predicted, it now appears as though Michelle Obama did not buy $50,000 worth of lingerie.

* Newt Gingrich has moral qualms with the idea of in vitro fertilization. Though, I should point out that he considers in vitro fertilization any form of conception that does not involve his own man junk.

* TPM has an unsettling slide show of your President engaged in a series of Terrorist Fist Jabs.

Tags: Bo Obama, David Axelrod, Fashion, Michelle Obama, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Puppies!, Republicans, Sex, Twitter

Fox News and Sarah Palin Hate Obama's Christmas Card, Dogs

We already know Barack Obama hates Christmas. Also he loves Christmas a little too much. That doesn't matter right now. What does matter is that Fox News and Sarah Palin hate dogs!

The official White House holiday card makes no mention of the word ‘Christmas’ and instead focused on Bo the First Dog based on the wishes of the First Family…

Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin told Fox News & Commentary that she found the card to be a bit unusual.

"It's odd," she said, wondering why the president's Christmas card highlights his dog instead of traditions like "family, faith and freedom."

What's odd that Sarah Palin doesn't think Bo Obama highlights family, faith and freedom. Family: The dog is part of the family. Faith: All animals except snakes are naturally Christian. Freedom: Bo Obama isn't wearing a leash. It's almost like Sarah Palin is a secret Kenyan that hates dogs.

We unfortunately don't have any of Sarah Palin's Christmas cards, but I imagine they are just pictures of baby Jesus with Palin's head photoshopped over his face. But we do have some of Fox New's Christmas cards after the jump and they're filled with Jesus's spirit of bashing your enemies.

(Picture via LA Times)

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Tags: Barack Obama, Bo Obama, Christmas, Fox News, Sarah Palin

The Onion: Obama Denies Accusations He Does Not Love His Dog

What kind of an inhuman monster gets accused of not loving his dog? Disgusting…

Tags: Barack Obama, Bo Obama, Puppies!, The Onion

Are These Cookies Really Proof That Barack Obama Is Not a Muslim?

According to Vanity Fair, this photo of Christmas cookies being made, from the White House Flickr stream, is incontrovertible proof that Barack Obama is not an America-hating Muslim…

Observe this photo of a White House pastry chef preparing cookies created in the image of Bo, Obama's impossibly delightful Portuguese water dog.

According to Sahih al-Bukhari, a sacred Sunni text, "Allah's Messenger forbade the eating of the meat of beasts having fangs." Dogs — even in cookie form — have fangs.

Uh huh. And where's the picture of Obama eating one of the cookies? Probably in a drawer with his birth certificate and a video of Michelle not saying "whitey."

Nice try, liberal lamestream media. Nice try.

Tags: Barack Obama, Bo Obama, Food, Islam, Michelle Obama, Puppies!, Religion, White House