For only the second time in his presidency, Barack Obama graced the Gridiron Club and Foundation dinner with his comedic presence. Behold the best jokes a government speechwriter's salary can buy, as told by the president:
Tags: Barack Obama, Bobby Jindal
During a speech at the National Governors Association's winter meeting, Dr. Mehmet Oz identified a serious but also puke-inducing health problem: the shortage of gubernatorial sexytime:
Oz also encouraged governors to lead by example by modeling a number of healthy behaviors…Noting that increased sexual activity leads to longer lifespans, Oz called on all governors to start having sex twice a week. No governors responded to Oz's suggestion about their sex lives.
Governing is stressful and time-consuming, so here are a few tips to help our nation's governors get their groove back (ew, ew, ew):
Tags: Bobby Jindal, Paul LePage, Rick Perry, Rick Scott, Sex
The response to the State of the Union is the opposition party's opportunity to inform the president that, yes, his agenda is welcome to crawl into a corner and die. Call it the STFU to the president's SOTU. It's also a hazardous assignment, if history's any judge.
Tonight Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) will give the official Republican response, and Sen. Rand "Son of Ron" Paul will give the official Tea Party response, which is a whole lot of responding–and a whole lot of room for error.
Here's what Rubio and Paul need to do in order to avoid making complete(er) fools of themselves:
Tags: Bob McDonnell, Bobby Jindal, Marco Rubio, Mitch Daniels, Paul Ryan, Rand Paul, Republicans, State of the Union, Tea Party
Fill in the blank: (2+5) x ____ = (5×2)+(5×5). If you answered "learnin' about the distributive property is for communists," you're of one mind with Eric Bolling of Fox News, who took issue with a Scholastic worksheet he accused of "push[ing] the liberal agenda."
"Distribute the wealth with the lovely rich girl with a big ole bag of money, handing some money out," mocked Bolling, who claimed the textbook was part of leftist "indoctrination in schools."
Bolling still has a ways to go to reach the heights of math paranoia. In Glenn Beck's hands, this worksheet would have produced a soliloquy about algebra's Arabic origins and transitioned to a rant about the commutative property, which sounds like commutation, which sounds like Obama releasing violent felons from prisons to steal Americans' money. Nevertheless, Bolling did enough to join the conservative anti math-league, whose members include:
Tags: Bobby Jindal, Education, Fox News, Karl Rove, Louisiana, Mike Huckabee, Missouri, Polls, Rush Limbaugh, Science & Technology
With even leaders inside their own party calling for change and reform, Republicans did not have a great week. Fortunately, a silver-lining has just appeared over the storm clouds: Meghan McCain is threatening to leave their party. In an editorial for The Daily Beast, she writes…
"And if we don’t move forward, adapt, and become relevant again, the Republican Party isn’t going to survive. It will just continue to alienate more moderate voters like myself. If I don’t see some changes in the next four years, I’m going to consider registering as an Independent in 2016."
Bobby Jindal may be pushing you to be the party of the one hundred percent. And John Boehner may threaten to compromise with President Obama. But stay headstrong, Republicans! Just continue four more years of alienating minorities, women and gays and you'll finally be 100% Meghan McCain free.
That way, you'll only have to deal with only one McCain making bold statements on behalf of their party with the sole intent of getting media attention.
Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Bobby Jindal, John Boehner, John McCain, Meghan McCain, Republicans