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Bruce Springsteen
  • Colbert Signs Petition to Close Gitmo

    On last night's Colbert Report, Stephen interviewed singer/songwriter Rosanne Cash about the US government's use of nonstop loud music to torture detainees at Guantanamo Bay. Of course, as the daughter of Johnny Cash, Rosanne surely knows that if the military really wanted to torture those prisoners, they would just have a train drive by the prison with a fancy dining cart.

    The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

    Tags: Bruce Springsteen, Guantanamo Bay, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video
  • FCC Chairman Just Wants to Rock Out With His Telecom Policy Out

    Julius-GenachowskiDo you use the internet? No? Stop using your psychic powers to infiltrate my brain, creep! But if you do "surf the tubes," you may be aware of net neutrality, which is the novel idea that telecom companies shouldn't be allowed to discriminate among different types of online content, so silly blogs like this can travel at the same speed as, say, a silly blog that paid the telecom company big $$ for favors.

    Now, much to the consternation of folks like John McCain, Julius Genachowski is chairman of the FCC, and he's talking up net neutrality before a big vote later this month. Here, let's let him explain in his own actual words why this issue is so important…

    "Everywhere from the Streets of Philadelphia to My Hometown in New York, every Bobby Jean and every Jersey Girl should be counting on the Internet remaining free and open, not Counting on a Miracle. They should count on The Rising of millions of voices to beat back any Darkness on the Edge of Town, or broadband Badlands that could threaten limited choice and create potential bottlenecks.

    "The people who built the Internet were working on more than a computer network, they were Working on a Dream. It was a network that was Born to Run in a land of open protocols, (the Promised Land). The Internet is more than an information highway, it is a telecom Thunder Road of wonderfully chaotic creativity and it will be a Lonesome Day if that is ever lost. But, hold on, Janey, Don't You Lose Heart, because the FCC will be taking up open Internet rules in the near future."

    Ah, so that's why Julius Genachowski is fighting for net neutrality.

    He's afraid the telecoms will slow down his ILuvTheBoss fan page, and really, that's the only thing that keeps him going these days.

    Tags: Bruce Springsteen, FCC, Internet, Music, Net Neutrality, Science & Technology
  • Melissa Etheridge Pulls a Reagan at the Democrats' Convention

    Last night the Democratic Party found it in their ethanol-bleeding hearts to let Melissa Etheridge—who hasn't had a hit since the last Democrat was in office—come up on stage to literally become an "arena rocker" one more time.

    And how did Etheridge repay the favor? By pulling a Ronald Reagan.

    Etheridge regaled the crowd with a medley of America-themed songs, which included the cringe-worthy choice of "Born In The U.S.A." by Bruce Springsteen—a song that describes shipping troubled youths off to Vietnam and dumping them back in a country that won't accept them. Sample lyrics:

    Down in the shadow of the penitentiary
    Out by the gas fires of the refinery
    I'm ten years down the road
    Nowhere to run, ain't got nowhere to go
    Born in the U.S.A.

    Nice pick, Melissa. Excuse me while my American flag droops like a pre-Viagra Bob Dole.

    To be fair, Etheridge chose to skip over those lines and many others, proving that at least she had bothered to read the lyrics– unlike then-president Reagan, who moronically stated

    America's future rests in a thousand dreams inside your hearts. It rests in the message of hope in songs of a man so many young Americans admire — New Jersey's own Bruce Springsteen.

    Springsteen responded three days later by dedicating a rendition of "Johnny 99"—about a laid-off worker turned murderer—to Reagan.

    Back here at the convention, it remains to be seen whether the Boss will dedicate tonight's set at Invesco Field to Etheridge—who incidentally was pulled off stage before she could develop Alzheimer's disease and bomb Libya.

    Tags: Bruce Springsteen, Colorado, Democratic National Convention, Denver, Ronald Reagan
  • No Retreat, No Surrender


    Washington is no different from Hollywood — it's full of famous names, ruthless backstabbers, and gossip bloggers willing to grossly exaggerate any anecdote to boost their readership. As former United States Senate Pages, Dylan and Ethan Ris were privy to backroom dealings, power grabs, and scandals that would make even Eliot Spitzer blush. Join the Pages as they get the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!

    Item! Presidential nominee-to-be Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) turned even redder than usual this weekend when it was revealed that his appointed GOP convention chairman Doug Goodyear once lobbied for the firm representing the Myanmar military junta!

    And just when we Pages had begun to fear that Monk-beating, cyclone-victim-neglecting dictators no longer had a voice in Washington! Embarrassing as this news may be, it still beats the plan proposed by former candidate Mitt Romney (R-MA), which was to outsource the entire convention to Myanmar. Nonetheless, look for this awkward snafu to be cleared up long before the Rev. John Hagee delivers the convention’s opening prayer on September 1st!

    Who's the Boss? Speaking of John McCain, certain Nosey Nellies in Washington have questioned his choice of “No Surrender” as his presidential campaign theme, given that Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) had used Bruce Springsteen’s song of the same name in his bumbling attempt at the presidency in 2004.

    Although McCain is not using the Boss as his personal soundtrack, tempers are rising on both sides of the aisle. Still, we Pages have it on good word that Sen. Kerry will defuse the situation with class by retroactively changing his campaign song to "Surrender" by Cheap Trick!

    Tags: Bruce Springsteen, Congressional Confidential, John Hagee, John Kerry, John McCain, Mitt Romney, Myanmar, RNC