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Budget
  • Tweet Untweet: Thelma and Louise


    Tags: Budget, Democrats, Economy, Republicans, Tweet Untweet, Twitter
  • Tweet Untweet: Budgeting Faith


    Tags: Atheists, Budget, Republicans, Tweet Untweet, Twitter
  • John Sununu and CNN Telecommunicate Between Alternate Realities

    Wow! All of CNN's envelope-pushing technological experiments — giant iPads, holograms, walk-through pie charts, Wolf Blitzer beard enhancements — seem to really be paying off. Looks like the cable channel's team of scientists have managed to figure out how to communicate through a combination of campaign talking points and quantum political spin live via satellite across different realities in the Multiverse! Amazing!

    Here, watch as CNN anchor Soledad O'Brien and Mitt Romney surrogate discuss Barack Obama's, Mitt Romney's and Paul Ryan's Medicare plans, as each person is dealing with two completely distinct and non-overlapping sets of facts!

    Wow! That is some mind-blowing stuff. My one criticism of O'Brien's interview is that she didn't ask Sununu what ice cream tastes like in his universe. I have this theory that it might taste like sardines. Just a hunch.


    Tags: Budget, CNN, John Sununu, Mitt Romney, Nerdiness, Paul Ryan, Soledad O'Brien
  • Defense Bill to Remind Us Why Democrats, Republicans Are Different

    Capitol Dome

    If you're like me, you find it hard to keep track of everything Democrats and Republicans disagree on. Health care, taxation, bailouts, same-sex marriage, climate change, whether Rick Santorum is crazy in a good way or a let's-get-the-hell-out-of-here way — it gets exhausting.

    Luckily, the Republican-controlled House and the Democratic-controlled Senate are working hard to squeeze all their ideological differences into one single, easily understood defense bill

    The House bill banned same-sex marriage ceremonies on military bases and included conscious provisions for military chaplains, while the Senate bill allows the Pentagon to fund abortions in the case of rape or incest. Currently only cases where a woman’s life is in danger are allowed.

    Wow! Lawmakers figured out how to wedge abortion and same-sex marriage into a defense spending bill? It'll only be a matter of time before Democrats demand mandatory tofu burgers for all infantry units. Or Republicans do something equally silly, like try to keep gays from openly serving. Anything could happen.

    I'm just glad partisan divisions are staying clear, with no messy middle-ground to distract from whatever's on the TV…

    The House included $100 million to begin implementing an East Coast missile site by 2016, but the Senate only included language for an assessment. Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), the Senate's ranking member, said this week that he was "skeptical" about the necessity of the site.

    Damn. But on the bright side, that's the closest to maverick he's come in years.

    Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Budget, House of Representatives, John McCain, Military, Senate
  • TSA Groping About to Become More Expensive

    The question "Just how little tactical competence can a political party exhibit without becoming utterly irrelevant to the electoral process?" is about to have an answer. This little

    The Senate Appropriations Committee on Tuesday moved forward with legislation to increase airline passenger security fees, beating back a GOP attempt to keep them at current levels.

    The 2013 Homeland Security appropriations bill would increase one-way fees for passengers from $2.50 to $5 in order to close a budget shortfall at the Transportation Security Administration.

    On the one hand, since 2012 is the  fifth year in a row that healthcare costs have increased between 7 and 8%, a TSA examination is increasingly the most cost-effective option for Americans' gyno- and proctological needs. Plus, Republicans insisted on paying for the shortfall with cuts to local governments and "emergency food and shelter funding." And anyway, they're not sold on the importance of any wands that are waved outside a vagina.

    On the other hand, this is the lonely hill on which Democrats have chosen to make their stand? The committee vote followed partisan lines, with every Republican voting against the $315 million subsidy and Ben Nelson the sole Democrat to break ranks. Most likely, Democrats insisted on a passenger fee increase because they couldn't think of any other funding method that could irk the public more. Perhaps they should have considered a special levy on puppy owners, or an excise tax on ice cream.

    The official Democratic argument is that the burden of the TSA should be borne by those who benefit from it. Unfortunately, those beneficiaries are mostly in our nation's funeral home business. Since flying is significantly safer than driving, the increased inconvenience of going through airport security increases automobile deaths due to people deciding to drive instead of fly by 500 per year. So perhaps this strategy is actually brilliant: if Democrats kill off the most TSA-phobic Americans, they'll have a chance at holding on to the Senate.

    Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Budget, Democrats, Republicans, Senate, TSA