Howard Berman versus Brad Sherman. It's a case of two Jews, one district. Both are Democrats. Both serve on House Foreign Affairs Committee. They have nearly identical voting records and a combined 44 years of congressional experience.
Thanks to redistricting and California's new jungle primary system, which mandates that the top two finishers in the primary, regardless of party, advance to November, they are now locked in a tight general election contest for the right to represent the California 30th.
There is only one way to settle this…
Tags: Brad Sherman, California, Debates, Howard Berman
Did you know every time an 18-year-old candidate runs for an office, a local TV producer's eyes roll back like a great white shark's? A clip of a teenager in a suit talking nervously, an adult saying, "Even if he doesn't win, it's great to see young people get involved," then a shot of two people standing in front of a lawn sign chatting casually, as if that's where they always hang out. Boom, let's put this segment to bed. It's two-for-one jalapeno blasters at McHoulifuddy's.
Everyone, meet Aziz Akbari, an 18-year-old running for mayor of Fremont, CA who flies home from college on the weekends to campaign and talks like an 18-year-old who is really passionate about vacant business parks and easy highway access. We're going to need a bigger boat! (Jaws jokes.)
First, Aziz Akbari is not Aziz Ansari. I feel like some of you may need that spelled out. Akbari is a sophomore at USC majoring in mechanical engineering, minoring in computer science and pre-law.
Although he is not Aziz Ansari, we have reason to believe that Aziz Akbari has dabbled in stand-up comedy. That reason is this video:
Tags: California, One of a Kind Candidates
John Dennis — who is currently trying to unseat Nancy Pelosi from her long-held seat as representative of California's 8th district — just released a new advertisement in which he is seen saving a poor innocent sheep from a throng of chanting blood-thirsty undead cultists being led by none other than the former House Speaker herself.
I warn you, this video is quite harrowing…
I have no idea how John Dennis was able to penetrate security for Pelosi HQ or how he managed to walk out with this video, but I congratulate him for his bravery.
However, in Pelosi's defense, as a San Francisco liberal, she's kind of expected to preside of sacrificial black magic ceremonies like this. It's just the way it's always been.
Tags: Advertising, California, House of Representatives, John Dennis, Nancy Pelosi, Zombies
Increased polarization and split control of Congress basically guarantees that American politicians won't be passing any consequential legislation anytime soon. So it's heartening to see that both parties have made one exception, putting aside their differences to universally ratify Godwin's Law.
Earlier this year, it was Maine Governor Paul LePage comparing the IRS to the Gestapo and Allen West being Allen West. This time, the offender was chairman of the California Democratic Party, who compared Paul Ryan to Nazi propagandist Joseph Goebbels…
"They lie and they don't care if people think they lie… Joseph Goebbels — it's the big lie, you keep repeating it," Burton said Monday before the Blake Hotel breakfast. He said Ryan told "a bold-faced lie and he doesn't care that it was a lie. That was Goebbels, the big lie."
The only way this claim makes sense is if Joseph Goebbels was best known for exaggerating his marathon time in the 1939 Nuremberg Ubermensch Fun Run or misstating the timing of the closing of a Volkswagen plant in Fallersleben.
But at least the two parties have found common ground something. Now if only they could only acknowledge that the other side isn't a bunch of Nazis.
Photo by Heinrich Hoffmann/Hulton Archive/Getty Images
Tags: California, Democrats, Nazis, Paul Ryan, Republicans
The perennial candidate, we all know what you are. It's newspaper code for candidates with a single-issue platform to take down Christmas lights by the end of January -– especially you, SHARON DOWN THE STREET. You're the old guy who shouts at the empty chair (topical), only you're on our ballots. And even though we see your name at the poll year after year, we know to avoid you like a deviled egg that's been passed around the picnic table a few too many times (topical).
Stan McEtchin is no deviled egg! The 88-year-old has run for Paradise Town Council in Butte County, California for years to draw attention to issues he's interested in, like using sewage system gray water for irrigation. That's a reasonable issue for a guy we all incorrectly assumed to be a little bonkers and full of salmonella.
Despite his sensible stick-to-itiveness, McEtchin received a call from someone in Paradise to step down from the race this year because if he did, there would be an equal number of candidates and open seats, negating the need for an election and saving the town some scratch. But McEtchin said no, because duh, this isn't his first time at the perennial candidate rodeo. McEtchin said he'd consider dropping out for $10,000 because he's a perennial goof and perennially awesome like that.
Yes, he only received 2.8 percent of the vote last time, but to me that just sounds like 97.2 percent of voters are just friends he hasn't met yet.
Not only is McEtchin a WWII vet, he makes salvaged metal sculptures in his front lawn. Just watch the video. How is he not the perennial mayor at this point? "I ain't an artist, I just do artwork," McEtchin said, because this guy is perennially zinging zingers and may have just coined the expression of our time. I ain't a blogger, I just do blogwork.
And no politician is complete without a strong spouse. McEtchin's wife, Eileen "Tugboat Annie" McEtchin told the Chico News & Review, "We just play characters. We like to make life interesting."
That's a quote in a published article about a couple in their 80s. So there you go, that's what Paradise looks like.
Photo by Panoramic Images/Panoramic Images/Getty Images
Previously: Kirk Caldwell, "Honolulu choo choo"
Our friends at Dr Pepper are going to send Mr. McEtchin a one-of-a-kind t-shirt, and you get to choose its slogan:
Want a custom t-shirt of your own? Of course you do! Head to DrPepper.com and get started.
Tags: California, One of a Kind Candidates