From the Pork Barrel: Teabaggers Send the Racist Things

* Hey, remember that charming witchdoctor picture that Mary wrote about a few weeks ago? This guy knows what I'm talking about? (And, by "this guy," I mean "prominent conservative activist Dr. David McKalip.")

* Health Care Reform from the people who brought you Saw: Parts I thru XVI.

* This just in: Barack Obama hates the Socratic concept of "Law." Also, he's not so keen on "Order."

* Bob Barr likes watching his babies die. (But in a good way.)

* What the hell is going on over there in Iowa?

* Is Carrie Prejean actually going to be on the next season of The Apprentice? And what does that have to do with Meghan McCain? And, most importantly, why do I care?

Tags: Barack Obama, Bob Barr, Carrie Prejean, Health Care, House of Representatives, Iowa, Meghan McCain, Polls, Pork Barrel, Racism, Tea Party

Another Stroke of Luck for Miss Anti-Gay Marriage

Good for Carrie Prejean. She's back in the headlines, has yet another tribulation to suffer publicly, and has all the time in the world pursue her new career as a detractor of equality in civil liberties.

It really doesn't get any better, does it?

Less than a month after being told by Donald Trump that she can keep her Miss California crown, Carrie Prejean was fired on Wednesday.

Wow! That's brilliant. Simply brilliant! But how did she manage to pull off this coup?

Trump told [TMZ] Carrie refused to appear at around 30 events on behalf of Miss California USA. He says Prejean was contractually bound to appear and she just wouldn't do it. He doesn't think her attitude has anything to do with her politics.

Trump said: "To me she was the sweetest thing. Everyone else — she treated like shit."

She's gonna fit in real well with her new friends, I think.

Tags: California, Carrie Prejean, Donald Trump, LGBT, Marriage Equality

Grill, Grill or Grill: Ladies of Conservatism

Yesterday, we told you that we had to choose from amongst Carrie Prejean, Meghan McCain and Sarah Palin for whom we'd like to Grill (barbecue with), Grill (conduct a comprehensive interview with) or Grill (cover their teeth with some phat gold teeth).

Here's what we came up with…

Grill – Sarah Palin

The way we see it, if there was anybody in all of politics that you'd really want to fire up the charcoals with, it'd have to be Sarah Palin. (That is, unless you're some kind of a socialist vegetarian terrorist or something.)

Can you even imagine the kinds of animal flesh she'd bring to cook up? We've never eaten a grilled moose burger. Nor have we sampled marinated wolf shanks, snowy owl hot wings, or leg of polar bear. (And they'll be extinct before you know it, so we gotta eat them asap.)

Plus, word around the igloo is she makes her wieners with genuine long pork, whatever that is.

.

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Tags: Carrie Prejean, Grill (x3), Meghan McCain, Sarah Palin

Meghan McCain: Grilled on The Colbert Report, Grilled on Indecision

So, tomorrow, we'll be unveiling our new feature Grill, Grill or Grill for the BBQ season. It's a lot like Marry, Fuck, Kill, except…

* Instead of Marry, we'll be choosing with whom we'd most like to Grill (barbecue with).

* Instead of Fuck, we'll be choosing whom we'd most like to Grill (conduct a comprehensive interview with)

* And instead of Kill, we'll be choosing the person we'd most like to Grill (cover their teeth with some phat gold teeth).

Why are we doing this? You're guess is as good as ours, but it seemed like a fun thing anyway.

First out of the gate, we'll be choosing amongst Sarah Palin, Carrie Prejean and Meghan McCain. We've got a good idea of who will be picked for what and why, but we're open to having our minds changed.

Oh, and while we're on the subject of Meghan McCain, she'll be Stephen's guest on The Colbert Report tonight at 11:30 (EST).

Tags: Carrie Prejean, Grill (x3), Meghan McCain, Sarah Palin, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report

Carrie Prejean Officially Joins the Fox News Family

Way to go, America. I hope you're proud of yourself.

'Cause you just created a brand new, real life, not-going-away-anytime-soon star!

Miss California and Miss USA runner-up, Carrie Prejean, tossed around in the battle over gay marriage, will be a one-day guest host for Fox News Channel's popular morning show Fox & Friends, Whispers learns. She will host the 6 a.m.-to-7 a.m. slot on May 27, filling in for Gretchen Carlson — the 1989 Miss America — who will be off that day…

Suzanne Scott, Fox vice president for programming, filled me in on the details of the gig for Prejean, who was thrust into the headlines when she rejected gay marriage during the Q&A part of the pageant. "We're just using her one time," she said, "to sit with the boys and have some fun." The boys are cohosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade. "She has become a national celebrity in the last few weeks, and it's a fun thing to do," said Scott. "It's a good way to try get a little buzz and fun for the show. We'll see what happens with it," she added.

Oh my God. It's happening. It's actually really happening… We finally really did it.

You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you!

God damn you all to hell!

Tags: California, Carrie Prejean, Fox, LGBT, Marriage Equality