Wednesday's Links: Conan Celebrates Soda's 11th-Hour Reprieve

* Soda lovers take their victory to the streets.

* It takes a lot of power to get a roller coaster going.

* If all money looked like this, people probably would save more.

* Political dramas are getting too much like real life.

* An alternate reality where Stan Lee and Jack Kirby were Communists.

* Let's have some fun, this beat is sick. I wanna take a ride on your pastoral staff.

* Animals yelling like humans? *Yawn* We've got politicians who yell like animals.

* The Fremont City Council meeting will now come to disorder. [NSFW]

Tags: Catholic Church, Communism, Daily Links, Energy & Oil, England, Howard Dean, Lady Gaga, Money, New York City, Queen Elizabeth II, Rob Delaney, Soda Ban, Vatican O'Brien

Tuesday's Links: Sound the Bugle for Chavez

* The Bugle says "adios" to George W. Bush's muse.

* Notes from the GOP naming committee meeting.

* What Americans think about the Pope being Jewish.

* Homeland as a role-playing game.

* Someone may be trying to tell Gov. Rick Scott something.

* What is the Cyrus cylinder and why is it important to America?

* This is what it sounds like when Joe Biden tells John Boehner a joke.

Tags: Catholic Church, Daily Links, Funny or Die, Hugo Chavez, Jewish, Jimmy Kimmel, John Oliver, Mitt Romney, Republicans, Rick Scott

Tweet Untweet: Putting Out Conservative Fires

Paul Ryan's new budget unveiled the same day as the papal conclave. Looks like House Republicans and the Vatican will both be blowing smoke.

— Adam Carl (@AdamWearsPants) March 12, 2013

Tags: Catholic Church, Paul Ryan, Republicans, Tweet Untweet, Twitter, Vatican

March Madness: The Papal Names Tournament

With all the challenges facing the next pope, the last things he needs to do is worry about selecting his regnal name. That's why we've done the work for him (click to enlarge); selecting the best papal names of all time through the highly scientific process of saying all 80 previously-used titles aloud until somebody started giggling, "Ha ha, you said Pope RomANUS!"

Personally, I'm hoping for a Pope Sixtus VI.

Photo by Carsten Koall/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Catholic Church, Religion

Pope Benedict Won't Monday-Morning-Pope His Successor

Unlike all the other dudes with Twitter accounts who claim to be authorities on everything, Pope Benedict has some theological justification for his claim on infallibility. Which means Benedict's nearly unprecedented abdication created the possibility of a retired pope second-guessing his successor — "His teachings are sententia fidei proxima, at best!"

Alas, a Vatican production of Two Popes, One Funny Hat is not going to happen:

"These powers go with the office, so they will pass to the next pope… Whoever renounces no longer has the assistance of the Holy Spirit to guide the Universal Church," Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi said at a briefing.

Guess it's impossible to disagree with an infallible pope who proclaims himself fallible.

Previously
#askpontifex Questions, Answered

Photo by Carsten Koall/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Catholic Church, Pope Benedict XVI, Religion, Vatican