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Charles Koch
  • Bill Koch to Construct Massive Monument to Income Inequality

    We most know how Charles and David Koch spend their time: playing the part of stereotypical Hollywood villains with massive donations to plutocratic political causes in between writing aggrieved op-eds complaining about the lack of deference some Americans exhibit in the face of their economic betters.

    But what has Bill Koch, the Daniel Baldwin of the Koch brothers, been up to?

    There's a new town in Colorado. It has about 50 buildings, including a saloon, a church, a jail, a firehouse, a livery and a train station. Soon, it will have a mansion on a hill so the town's founder can look down on his creation. But don't expect to move here — or even to visit.

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    Tags: Bill Koch, Charles Koch, Colorado, David Koch
  • Zach Galifianakis vs. the Koch Brothers

    Zach Galifianakis knows politics like he knows the skin on the back of his lily white thighs. In his and Will Ferrell's upcoming film The Campaign, Dan Aykroyd and John Lithgow play right-wing political donors named the "Motch Brothers." This led some savvy smartypants to suggest that the movie was poking fun at the Koch brothers. Bingo. It's almost like you can't fool some of the people all the time anymore.

    Then Galifianakis confirmed the correlation

    "I disagree with everything they do. They are creepy and there is no way around that. It's not freedom what they are doing," Galifianakis said.

    Yikes. Only someone who knows what it's like to be punched by Mike Tyson would dare take such a swipe at two of the most influential industrialists this country has ever seen. You may think the Koch brothers are too busy huffing fossil fuel and throwing darts at Obama's photograph to be concerned with what liberal Hollywood thinks of them, but never underestimate the amount of free time billionaires have to Google themselves and have their spokesman give a statement…

    "Last we checked, the movie is a comedy. Maybe more to the point is that it's laughable to take political guidance or moral instruction from a guy who makes obscene gestures with a monkey on a bus in Bangkok," said Philip Ellender, referring to a scene from the movie "The Hangover Part II."

    It's even worse than I imagined. The Koch brothers also have enough time to watch The Hangover Part II. Maybe if Galifianakis keeps making sequels to that franchise, liberals can distract them enough to indoctrinate everyone with their political and moral message. God knows a man who makes obscene gestures with a monkey on a bus in Bangkok is less moral than a man who obscenely puts a dog on a car all along the Eastern Seaboard.

    Photo by By [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons

    Tags: Barack Obama, Charles Koch, David Koch, Mitt Romney, Super PACs, Will Ferrell
  • Koch-Funded Study Confirms We Are All Doomed

    Looking from a narrow perspective, all sides of the political spectrum are competing for high stakes in the presidential campaign.

    For liberals, a defeat in the November election portends dark times for the American welfare state, as top marginal tax rates are slashed, while our nations' unemployed schoolteachers turn to a life of meth production and psychopathy. For conservatives, an Obama re-election means a future in which illegal aliens will have union jobs installing solar panels on the backs of small business owners.

    But both sides should take a deep breath because according to yet another study, none of this matters, as we are doomed to massive droughts, freak weather events, crop failures and climate-caused social instability regardless of who wins the next election.

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    Tags: Charles Koch, Climate Change, Environment, Science & Technology
  • Wisconsin Poll Shows Gov. Scott Walker in Danger of Recall

    At first, the idea of Wisconsinites successfully recalling their new governor seemed like a liberal pipe dream, which is to say, a particularly pipe-dreamy type of pipe dream. But then momentum started to build and the extremely unlikely became only moderately unlikely and then only a little bit unlikely.

    Now, according to a new poll, the unlikely actually seems kind of likely, which itself seems incredibly unlikely

    A new Rasmussen poll finds that Republican Wisconsin Scott Walker is in trouble of being recalled June 5, with a majority, 52 percent, saying they will vote him out less than two years after he took office and immediately went to work to cut the power of public service unions…

    Worse for Walker: 53 percent disapprove of his job as governor with a whopping 46 percent saying they "strongly disapprove" of Walker. Majorities of both men and women now support his recall.

    I don't know. It seems kind of unfair for the people of Wisconsin to be taking out their frustrations over the gutting of the public right to collectively bargain on Gov. Walker. I mean, he's only following orders.

    Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Charles Koch, David Koch, Polls, Scott Walker, Unions, Wisconsin
  • One Million Wisconsinites Sign Petition to Recall Scott Walker

    Aw, look at this. The citizens of Wisconsin are trying to get their state back. Can they actually do that? I was under the impression that Scott Brown sold it off with a no-return policy

    A total of 540,208 valid signatures, or 25 percent of all of the votes cast in the election that put Walker in office last January, were needed to force a recall election, but organizers had aimed for hundreds of thousands more than the minimum requirement to ensure they met the threshold even if some signatures are disqualified.

    The Wisconsin Democratic Party was quick to dub the recall effort — which also targeted Lt. Gov. Rebecca Kleefisch and a handful of Republican state legislators — the "biggest" in American history and boasted that organizers had gathered a whopping 460,000 extra signatures for the recall of Walker, who infuriated many in his state last year by pushing through a law that ended most collective bargaining rights for many public workers.

    You know, that's fine and all, but I don't think that petition will considered legally binding unless at least a third of those signatures are Charles Koch's.

    And I'm pretty sure the other two-thirds need to be David Koch's.

    Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Charles Koch, David Koch, Democrats, Recall, Scott Walker, Unions, Wisconsin