Caption Challenge: Florida Gov. Charlie Crist on the Beach

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Charlie Crist Will Not Be Permitted Re-Entry to the Grand Ole Party

Sen. John Cornyn has a staunch warning for Florida Gov. Charlie Crist, who is widely expected to announce his departure from the Republican Party fifteen minutes ago…

"Once you leave the party, you can't come back," Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.) told the Huffington Post. "And if he has other aspirations, it's hard to see how that works out."

I see. This party is more like a concert. If you wanna leave to smoke a cigarette, because they won't let you smoke one inside anymore, you won't be able to get back in, even though all your friends and your jacket are still in there. (That's pretty much the best analogy for this situation that there is, or can possibly be, for this situation. Don't you think?)

Oh, but also, your friends are not allowed to answer any of your phone calls, and they have to set your jacket on fire and then spit in your face next time they see you. (Apparently, it's one of those kinds of concerts.)

The Republican Party of Florida has told its members that they will be forbidden from supporting Gov. Charlie Crist if he decides to run as an independent.

In an internal memorandum issued Thursday and provided to CNN, RPOF General Counsel Jason Gonzalez concluded that the "Party Loyalty Oath," Rule 9 of the party's bylaws, would forbid executive committee members from providing "active, public or financial support" to any candidate other than the one with "Republican" next to his or her name on the ballot.

And you'll obviously have to vomit up all the drinks your friends bought for you while you were inside…

Cornyn says he wants contributions he made from his leadership PAC back, and he says other Florida donors are seeking the same. "I think in addition to seeing his coffers depleted" by refunding contributions, Cornyn says, "his ability to raise money as an independent will be dramatically down."

Fun concert. Can't imagine why Crist would even consider leaving.

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Update: Crist left the concert.

Charlie Crist Will Maybe Probably Possibly Almost Definitely Run as an Independent

In completely surprising news that nobody ever could have possibly ever guessed, it appears as though the Little Republican Governor of Florida Who Could (Not Shake Off Accusations of Being a Insufficiently Intolerant) will be leaving his beloved GOP to continue chugging along in his senatorial campaign as an Independent.

I know! We're all shocked…

Crist's nonpartisan bid would allow him to forgo an anticipated thrashing by former House Speaker Marco Rubio in the GOP primary and pave the way for a potentially competitive three-way contest against Rubio as the likely GOP nominee and U.S. Rep. Kendrick Meek of Miami as the likely Democrat. That means Florida's next senator could be elected Nov. 2 with as little as 34 percent of the vote, upending the usual quest for mass appeal in an increasingly diverse state of 11 million voters.

"In a tight, three-way race, there's a bigger premium on making sure you are targeting your supporters and getting them to polls, as opposed to persuading voters," said Quinnipiac University pollster Peter Brown, whose recent survey found Crist slightly ahead of the pack if he ran as an independent and Rubio in second place. "When you don't need a majority, when a plurality is what matters, there's a smaller target."

Of course, the real winner in this situation has got to be Rep. Kendrick Meek. The chance to lose to not one, but two Republicans at the same time is a humiliation that few Democrats get to savor.

Dick Cheney Slithers Into the Ring for Marco Rubio

Man, even the politics get swampy in Florida. Governor Charlie Crist, whose face has evolved to resemble his state's famous citrus fruit, is running for the U.S. Senate as a… Republican? Independent? Let's go with "not Democrat." Meanwhile, the Tea Party's beloved Marco Rubio is salivating at the prospect of becoming a smoother-backed Scott Brown and Democrats are running someone named Kendrick Meek, also known as "third-place guy."

Yesterday the race became even more interesting, for two reasons. First, Dick Cheney crawled out from wherever he's being kept, just so he could endorse Marco Rubio…

"Washington is broken and Congress is already overflowing with politicians who need pollsters to tell them what to think," Cheney said of Crist. "It certainly doesn't need another one. Now more than ever America needs leaders with the strength of conviction."

Cheney called Rubio "a strong conservative leader." He urged Crist to either remain in the Republican primary, which he would almost certainly lose, or drop out of the race completely.

…and second, Marco Rubio has been linked to a federal investigation involving personal expenses charged to Florida state GOP credit cards.

No idea which of these do the most damage to Rubio's public image.

Republican Gov. Charlie Crist May Become Transfigured as Independent for Florida Senate Race

You know, there's been a lot of loose talk recently about Florida Gov. Charlie Crist jumping from the Republican ship to set off on his own direction as an independent, simply because he's been facing some stiff competition in his bid from Teabag favorite Marc Rubio in the party's Senate primary race.

But, c'mon, we all know that's not going to happen. Charlie Crist is — and has always been — a true Republican. I mean, why on Earth would this career Republican leave his beloved, wayward party now when it needs him most?

Okay. So… Charlie Crist will be leaving the Republican party to become an independent.