* In The Washington Spectator's new animated video series, A Brodner Minute, illustrator Steve Brodner has the candidates swapping spit with their benefactors.
* Jeff Ross is going to Canada to roast an entire country.
* Republicans get cheeky with their Valentine's, via Buzzfeed.
* From McSweeney's: "American Policy Suggestions from a Chicago Sports Fan."
* All the world's books on Abraham Lincoln could build a 3 story tower. No, really.
Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, Canada, Chicago, Daily Links, Democrats, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Sports, Valentine's Day
* Traders in the Windy City are responding to Occupy Chicago with their own equally populist message.
* Russ Feingold saying that Occupy Wall Street makes "the Tea Party look like a tea party" makes Russ Feingold look like Russ Feingold. Whatever that means.
* Looks like Democrats might finally be rallying together in righteous opposition to Democrats.
* Tennessee Republicans have managed to save democracy once again by rooting out yet another nefarious fraudulent voter.
* Sarah Palin was apparently the model for "a mentally ill vice president who suffers in complete isolation" character in a new book, proving definitively that the partial-term governor can in fact be described as "inspirational."
Photo by USAanon/"T"/OccupyChicago
Tags: Books, Chicago, Democrats, Illinois, Occupy Wall Street, Pork Barrel, Protesters, Republicans, Russ Feingold, Sarah Palin, Tea Party, Tennessee, Voter Suppression
The sweatshirt-loving, bratwurst-chomping citizens of that city out in the middle of the country have something even more glorious than weirdly thick pizza to celebrate today.
As of 7:30 a.m. Central Time, the charmingly down-to-earth citizens of Chicago were free to grab their same-sex partners by the hand and mosey on down to the courthouse, where they could wait in line to get civil union licenses whilst loudly reminiscing about that one time they saw Michael Jordan buy a hot dog on the street in 1992. Of course, straight people can also enter into civil unions now, but straight people are awful and boring.
Thus, here's our Indecision List of the Best Ways to Celebrate Your Gay Chicago Civil Union!
1. Find an elderly Polish person and give him or her a hearty gay high-five! This is easy to do in Chicago, a place where many humans are Polish and also old.
2. Go to Boystown, the gayest-named gay enclave ever in the history of gays. Be gay there. More high-fives!
3. You could see a game by the Chicago Cubs, or perhaps by the President's favorite team, the White Sox. Both of those teams are comprised entirely of men, which is awesome if you are a gay man but maybe boring if you are a lesbian lady? Still, high-fives for everyone!
4. Drive around that giant lake, the one that looks like a boring ocean but is just a boring lake. Make out with your same-sex partner, or with your civil union license. High-five the rotund, mustachioed old cop who pulls you over for making out while driving. Then high-five the look of disgust right off his face! Try not to get arrested for assaulting an officer when you do this. A high-five to the face can FEEL a lot like a "slap," you know.
At the end of your day of fun, if you are very very good, your out-of-control, rage-filled mayor will do one of his youthful ballerina dances for you to congratulate you on being a Chicago civil unionist. "Thanks, Rahm!" you'll shout, and after a quick high-five, you'll go home to have no-longer-so-illicit gay sex in your spacious reasonably-priced apartment.
Enjoy it, Chicago, you big homosexual metropolis, you. We love your crazy gay ass.
Tags: Chicago, Illinois, LGBT, Marriage Equality
Okay, so this isn't exactly "news," per se.
However, I think it's worthy of posting for two reasons: 1) It's a rare example of a politician from one side of the aisle being playful and civil with a politician from the other side. And 2) it's an even rarer example of political news making me hungry instead of nauseated…
After spending the day in Chicago fundraising, Mitt Romney sat down with small business owners at Gino's East, a pizza joint famous for their deep-dish pizza. Not wanting any of the leftover slices to go to waste, Romney sent the remaining pies to where else but President Obama's Chicago reelection headquarters.
Asked if the pies actually made it to Obama's HQ, a campaign source said that they had.
It's hard to imagine how sending somebody free pizza can be considered a mean-spirited gesture. But, this is 2011 and we have people like Jim DeMint warning that bipartisan cooperation is the Devil's work, so I suppose we should make certain…
Gail Gitcho, Romney's communications director, told TPM in an email that it wasn't a prank at all. "No prank – just a nice gesture since we were just a few blocks away from their HQ yesterday and had extra pizza," she wrote.
That's actually kind of refreshing.
But, here's my one criticism for Romney: Gino's East is good, but not even close to Lou Malnati's. That's kinda like being in South Philly and going to Geno's Steaks when you could be going to Pat's.* You're never gonna win the nomination with that kind of slipshod decision-making.
* You think these are not important things, but you are wrong.
Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News /Getty Images
Tags: Barack Obama, Chicago, Food, Illinois, Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans
Finally! After 22 years of same ol', same ol', new Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel promises dramatic change to the City That Works.
In a celebratory, multi-ethnic, pan-racial, comprehensively religious inauguration ceremony yesterday, he reminded the people of Chicago that with this historic transfer of power, he'd stay shiny and new despite the city’s rusty attitude…
"Some are sure to say, ‘This is the way we do things — we can't try something new’ or ‘Those are the rules — we can't change them.’ This is a prescription for failure that Chicago will not accept."
And what an about-face from preceding mayor Daley's first inauguration speech, given back when acid-washed jeans were cool (for the first time), this year's college grads were not yet born, and my sister and I did our Rob-and-Fab dance routine to my "Blame It on the Rain" cassette single.
Clips from Daley's 1989 speech, starting at about 1:30 in the video, reveal his attitude about Chicago politics…
"Business as usual is a prescription for failure. The old ways of doing things simply aren’t adequate."
I’m glad that Rahm has such a different take on this. Demonstrating his commitment to keep the waves of change rolling, he has already appointed Daley’s daughter to a cultural advisory committee.
Note from Dennis: I don't know if you've noticed, but we've been trying to get this post up since yesterday, but it kept getting broken for inexplicable (and maddening) reasons. Clearly, Mayor Emanuel already has his Chicago machine moving at full speed.
Photo by Frank Polich/Getty Images
Tags: Chicago, Illinois, Rahm Emanuel