Sarah Palin's Worst Moments of 2012

If you thought Sarah Palin peaked in 2008, you haven't been paying attention to her in 2012 (not that we blame you). So we're pleased to present an exclusive analysis we're calling The Worst Sarah Palin Moments of 2012 (So Far).

8. Palin calls Time magazine irrelevant for naming President Obama its Person of the Year, when really it's irrelevant for still trying to be in the print media.

7. In response to the mass shooting in Newtown, Palin sums up this horrific tragedy with a Cee Lo song and a crappy joke about the president.

6. Palin's son Trog (or something) gets a divorce after 18 months of marriage, and his family-values-having mom has no comment, because… family values.

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Our Endorsements: Putin Chick-fil-A to Shame

* Formal Sweatpants' Josh Mecouch draws @RobDelaney's latest Romney tweet about Pussy Riot.

* From The Onion, Huffington Post news sees all.

* Paul Ryan's Song of Himself, by Andy Borowitz.

* Did you see more bad lip reading with Romney?

* The Long Walk's latest installment, from McSweeney's.

* David Letterman has a talk with Mitt Romney's good friend Tracy Morgan.

* Oh sweet mystery of Paul Ryan's clothing choices, at last we've found you!

* Why Obama and Romney are both wrong about cars and dogs and energy.

* The Jimmy Kimmel show re-enacts Romney's outsourcing of Sesame Street.

Tags: Chick-fil-A, Daily Links, David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel, Mitt Romney, New Yorker, Paul Ryan, PBS, Primaries, Republicans, Rob Delaney, Russia, The Onion, Tracy Morgan, Vladimir Putin, Women's Rights

Your Guide to Food-Based Civic Engagement

Once, some cultural observers thought America had reached the pinnacle of its greatness, a prosperous and virtuous republic turned into a dissolute empire destined only for slow-motion collapse. Then, we decided that eating a spicy chicken sandwich could be an expression of political engagement and thereby learned that American exceptionalism had some life in it.

Not to be outdone by the legions of Americans who stuffed their faces with Chick-fil-A in an effort to oppose equal rights for gay people, organizers of  National Marriage Equality Day – originally known as National Starbucks Appreciation Day — have called for pro-equality to consumers to spend their money at businesses sympathetic to gay rights.

Perhaps it's a misuse of resources to encourage people to go give money to large corporations instead of donating directly to civil rights organizations or a political campaign, but what is more American than eating some highly processed junk food and calling it a political statement? With that in mind, here's your guide —  not endorsed by any of these firms! –  to fast food-based civic engagement…

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Petition Demands Chick-fil-A Stop Serving Gay Chickens

Those who participated in last week's successful Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day will never forget the day they sat down and ate fried chicken in defense of bigotry.

As the great bard wrote, "gentlemen in America then a-bed/Shall think themselves accursed they were not here/And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks/That fought with us upon Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day." Like with most heroic operations, the men will come back with purple hearts (mostly due to atherosclerosis, not shrapnel, but these are mere details, people).

But what if the struggle was for naught? What if Americans eating at Chick-fil-A have inadvertently been sucking down gay cocks?

But the harsh fact that Chick-fil-A ignores is that, as early as 1764, male chickens have been observed sexually mounting other cocks. How can Chick-fil-A claim to be truly committed to their selective and hateful misreading of the Biblical definition of marriage when the nearly 300 million sandwiches they sell yearly contain chickens, some or all of which might be gay?

That declaration, backed up with studies citing homosexual behavior in chickens and other animals, was made in a Change.org petition demanding that Chick-fil-A put an end to its hypocrisy and serve only 100% certified heterosexual animals.

True, the overwhelming majority of chicken meat comes from hens, but you never know what kind of experimentation they engaged in as adolescent chicks. Your move, Chick-fil-A.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Anti-Gay Stance Brings in Record Sales for Chick-fil-A

Like Rep. Michele Bachmann before them, Dan Cathy and Chick-fil-A learned a valuable lesson yesterday. You cannot choose to align yourself the intolerant and abusive factions of modern society and expect the people of America to sit idly by. No, sir!

My countrymen and countrywomen will rise up, reach deep into their wallets and throw their money at you…

Chick-fil-A says it set a sales record on Wednesday, the day that supporters rallied around the fast-food chain amid a debate over its president's opposition to same-sex marriage.

The chain said it won't release sales numbers, but "we can confirm reports that it was a record-setting day," said Steve Robinson, Chick-fil-A's executive vice president of marketing.

Let this be a lesson to all those fast food restaurants out there who are planning to announce their support for puppy hunting, nerd sterilization and the forced internment of gingers in next week's paper.

Photo by Robyn Beck/Getty Images News/Getty Images