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  • Newt Gingrich Faces Immigration Humane-gate

    Mainstream Republican immigration policy may span from Michele Bachmann’s double-fence to Herman Cain’s electrified alligator platoons, but during yesterday’s national security debate, Newt Gingrich took a different approach. According to the former Speaker, undocumented immigrants who have significant roots in the United States – including sufficient church attendance – should have the honor and privilege of being condescended to by a President Gingrich, without fear of deportation

    Gingrich began his answer with the usual paeans to legal immigration and border security before stating what he knows to be a conservative apostasy: "If you've been here 25 years and you got three kids and two grandkids, you've been paying taxes and obeying the law, you belong to a local church, I don't think we're going to separate you from your family, uproot you forcefully and kick you out," he said. Later, he echoed [Rick] Perry closely: "I don't see any reason to punish somebody who came here at three years of age, but who wants to serve the United States of America."

    On cue Michele Bachmann and Mitt Romney circled in to attack. "We need to move away from magnets, not offer more," Bachmann said. "Amnesty is a magnet," Romney echoed.

    “Stop and look around, it's all astounding/Water, fire, air and dirt/F***ing magnets, how do they work?” Bachmann and Romney did not add, but Gingrich was left perturbed.  Later in the debate, Gingrich left the realm of foreign policy to speak admiringly (and "frankly") of the Chilean model for Social Security, citing that nation's high savings rate.

    I think it's clear what's happening here. America is 235 years old, and we're not aging gracefully. We're overweight and ornery and many of us can't bear to take a humane approach to undocumented immigrants. As far as democracies go,  Chile's is prettier, younger, sultrier. I'm pretty sure Newt's saying that if we don't get our act together, he's going to divorce us.

    Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Chile, Debates, Immigration, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans
  • Tworld News: Week of October 4, 2010

    Tweeting the news– the environmentally sustainable way to stay in the know and not kill polar bears.

    What did one Nazi say to the other? If you know the punchline that means you're a Nazi.

    Between the technological efforts involved in the BP spill and now the machine being used to save the Chilean miners, it's shaping up to be a good year for semi-truthful, probably-horrible films directed by Michael Bay.

    Read More »

    Tags: Chile, China, Christine O’Donnell, DADT, Facebook, LGBT, Music, Nazis, Rahm Emanuel, Rick Sanchez, Serbia, Stephen Colbert, Twitter
  • Tworld News: Week of August 30, 2010

    Comedians on Twitter are the best thing to happen to the news cycle since the sculpting of Anderson Cooper's perfect face…

    Hopefully the cost of building a rescue tunnel won't force Chili's to cut their unbeatable $20 dinner-for-two deal.

    More Tworld News after the jump…

    Read More »

    Tags: Apple, Arizona, Chile, James Jay Lee, Jan Brewer, New Zealand, Oprah Winfrey, Religion, Science & Technology, Stephen Hawking, Tworld News, Weather
  • A Roundup of Horrible Things Pat Robertson Has Not Yet Said About Chile

    When I heard about the 8.8 magnitude earthquake that hit Chile over the weekend, my first thought was for my friend D., because her family lives there. My second thought was "how will Pat Robertson make me want to punch a wall this time?" (You remember last time.)

    A brief survey of the internet this morning shows several asinine remarks attributed to Dr. Robertson, like this one:

    "True story, in 1973 Chile elected a Communist to lead their government. The earthquake was punishment for that. God hates Communism. Also he is punishing Chile for electing a woman president, for not making their citizens speak English, and for having a country named after a food."

    And this one:

    "If I had to guess, I'd say it must have to do with Chile's persecution and attempted prosecution of their great former leader, and a personal hero of mine, Augusto Pinochet – who, it should be noted, had never been convicted of a crime when the Lord called him home three years ago."

    And this one:

    [Robertson] said that the 8.8 magnitude earthquake off the coast of Chile yesterday was the result of the nation's pact with the Chupacabra, or goat-sucker, a devilish beast blamed for livestock deaths across Latin America.

    These are, of course, jokes. They are not real remarks by Pat Robertson. They may be real things he thinks, but he hasn't said them (yet), at least not in public, so we'll have keep waiting to find out what horrible remark Pat Robertson really will make about Chile. I know! It's been days.

    Give the ol' guy a break. He may have an Olympic-caliber asshole reflex, but these things do slow down.

    Want to make a donation (not to Pat Robertson)? Here's a good list of organizations sending aid to Chile.

    Tags: Chile, Christianity, Pat Robertson, Religion