MSNBC: Howard Dean's Penis…

…is firmly planted in Chris Matthews' mouth right now. 

And Matthews won't let him pull it out.

Tags: Chris Matthews, Howard Dean, MSNBC

Chris Matthews Talks Undecided Voters, Sociology, Phillies

I'm posting this clip from Hardball, as much because it's about those mysterious undecided voters that I can't for the life of me understand, as I am for Chris Matthews' sartorial selection…

Gotta respect a guy who places his sports allegiances over professionalism, huh? Huh?

Tags: Chris Matthews, MSNBC, National Journal, Newsweek, Pennsylvania

Is Anybody Still Supporting John McCain? Anybody?

Jesus! The Republican Party sure is hemorrhaging conservative support as the last grains of sand twirl through the election hour glass.

Earlier today, we got news that former U.S. Press Secretary Scott "The Weasel" McClellan — who recently came out against the Bush administration's illegal activities in the Iraq debacle about six years too late — will be voting for Barack Obama.

Now we're finding out that an actual honest-to-god McCain campaign adviser, Charles Fried, has already voted for Obama. His rationale? Because of McCain's "choice of Sarah Palin at a time of deep national crisis."

And — since we're already feeling light-headed from the blood loss — we might as well go all the way and watch two conservatives give their reasons for voting against McCain from tonight's edition of Hardball: former Massachusetts governor and Mitt Romney supporter William Weld and the world's drunkest intellectual and Iraq War apologist, Christopher Hitchens. Weld, in his Obama endorsement, is very respectful of McCain. Hitchens is less so (and, therefore, more entertaining), calling McCain "weird" several times and implying that he might even be going senile. No, I correct myself… coming right out and saying that.

And that's just today. A few days ago, libertarian-conservative Christopher Buckley — who shares DNA with conservative icon William F. Buckley — sat down with Chris Matthews. After the jump…

And, I would be remiss if I didn't mention Buckley's recent conversation with Jon Stewart…

Is that enough anemia for now?

Tags: Chris Matthews, Christopher Buckley, Christopher Hitchens, John McCain, Jon Stewart, MSNBC, Scott McClellan, The Daily Show

Democratic Convention Studs and Duds

The confetti has fallen, the "world's biggest celebrity" has spoken, and the McCain campaign has issued its grumpy retort to the nation. Now it's time to look back and reflect on the Studs and Duds of the Democratic National Convention.

STUDS:

Hillary Clinton: Her endorsement of Obama was so rousing and sincere that it even convinced Bill.

John Kerry: Swiftboated and left for dead four years ago, Kerry struck back with what the New York Times' Michael Cohen is calling "possibly the best non-acceptance speech at a Democratic convention since Mario Cuomo and Jesse Jackson."

Brian Schweitzer: The Montana governor lassoed the crowd with his bolo tie and never let it go. We haven't heard the last of him.

Those Adorable Obama Girls: Their sprightly cameo following their mother's speech ought to be worth at least a walk-on in the next Jonas Brothers movie.

DUDS:

Mark Warner: His keynote address reassured uneasy voters that even after the coming Change, politicians will still be boring.

Focus On The Family: Apparently God misheard their prayers for rain on the night of Obama's outdoor speech and instead scheduled a hurricane for the middle of the GOP convention.

Chris Matthews' Runaway Hair: Along with turning platinum blonde, Matthews' hair has apparently joined the Republican Party, since it kept trying to flee his delightfully left-wing mouth.

Tags: Brian Schweitzer, Chris Matthews, Democratic National Convention, Denver, Focus On the Family, Hillary Clinton, John Kerry, Mark Warner

Chris Matthews: "Right-Wing Talking D-Bag, Here is Your Ass… Please Enjoy"

With all this talk of Barack Obama wanting to "appease" our enemies, as UK Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain did prior to WWII, it leads to a very simple question: Was does "appeasement" even mean?

Think you know what it means. If you do, you're one up on right-wing radio talk show host Kevin James…

About halfway through this interview from Hardball is when things start getting really uncomfortable/funny/hilarious.

It's nice to see Chris Matthews actually acting like a journalist instead of a Chris Matthews.

(Via Andrew Sullivan)

Tags: Barack Obama, Chris Matthews, George W. Bush, John McCain, MSNBC