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Chrysler
  • Our Endorsements: SNL on Monday Morning

    * Jason Sudekis reprises his Romney on SNL. Keep watching to see the hilarious parodies of Clint Eastwood's Super Bowl commercial.

    * Mitt Romney's Pintrest account.

    * Valentine's Day cards from the romantic GOP contenders.

    * Pro-Choice Senator tries to outlaw masturbation, from Buzzfeed.

    * A member of the FBI laments the commercialization of his profession.

    * President Obama's strategy includes asking voters not to upset his children's social life, from The Onion.


    Tags: Auto Industry, Chrysler, Clint Eastwood, Daily Links, Malia Obama, Mitt Romney, Oklahoma, Sasha Obama, Saturday Night Live, Senate
  • Barack Obama Comes to a Decision on the Fate of Auto Industry


    After an breathtaking fight between the U.S. auto industry and a pack of ravenous bears, it appears that the bears have gained the upper hand.

    And as their powerful jaws hold poised and steady around GM and Chrysler's throats — awaiting permission to snap shut and collapse the two flailing companies' straining tracheas — the crowd turns its heads collectively up, up up toward The Presidential Box to witness a decision on their fate.

    Barack Obama outstretches his fist and protruding thumb… and turns the wavering digit… down!

    When it comes to General Motors and Chrysler, the government intends to allow nature take its course, and will let the two companies go into bankruptcy if need be. That's a sharp break with the usual stance taken by administrations from both parties — including this one — when it comes to the Big Three automakers; normally, they're prime examples of "too big to fail."…

    And 76 percent of the crowd leaps to its feet cheering wildly, howling excitedly for blood! Or motor oil or break fluid or something. (I get tripped up with analogies sometimes.)


    Tags: Auto Industry, Barack Obama, Chrysler
  • Deuced Little Coupes: General Motors and Chrysler Request More Bailout Billions

    What the… okay, I'm pretty sure this is a lot worse than anyone expected.

    Yesterday Chrysler and General Motors submitted their restructuring plans to the federal government, which has already given them $4 billion and $13.4 billion, respectively. Chrysler's all, "Yeah, $5 billion more should do it for us," and the crazy thing about these crazy times is that a $5 billion bailout seems like, so whatever.

    Then GM rolls down its window and whistles at Handsome Treasury Elf Timothy Geithner…

    GM said in addition to the $2 billion it needs in March and the $13.4 billion it's already received, it would require an additional $2.6 billion in April, along with a replacement for a $4.5-billion line of credit that expires in 2011. It also said it could require another $7.5 billion should the U.S. market remain depressed for a few years.

    For those playing along at home, that's $30 billion total. In return for which, General Motors…

    …plans to shed 47,000 jobs worldwide this year, close 14 U.S. plants over the next three years, kill four brands and plot a course to become profitable by 2012.

    The bright spot in all this, maybe: that busted old Saturn in your yard could finally be worth something.

    On eBay.

    In 40 years.

    When your family is no longer living in it.


    Tags: Auto Industry, Christianity, Chrysler, TARP