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Chuck Schumer
  • 10 Examples of Legislative Titles Getting Creepier

    Capitol dome, Washington DC
    After today's IPO, Facebook is at least as public as the pictures of that time your friends drew a gigantic penis on your passed out face, which means attention has naturally focused on the insiders whose shares will soon be worth billions. Included in that elite group is Eduardo Saverin, who renounced his U.S. citizenship in favor of Singapore's efficient public services, thriving food culture, low tax rate.

    Senator Charles Schumer, can you frame your opportunistic bombast aimed at Saverin's tax dodging in as douchy a way as possible?

    "Eduardo Saverin wants to de-friend the United States of America. Sen. Casey and I have a status update for him: Pay your taxes in full or don't ever try to visit the U.S. again. This is a small, narrow group. And they deserve to get the treatment we're giving them."

    Naturally, the legislation sponsored by Schumer, which would impose a 30% capital gains tax on the investments of people who renounce their citizenship for tax purposes and bar them from reentry to the United States, is called the EX-PATRIOT Act (Expatriation Prevention by Abolishing Tax-Related Incentives for Offshore Tenancy). Set aside the creepiness of a law aimed at a specific individual and the question of whether Saverin is really abusing our tax system, and we're still left with the knowledge that bill titles are getting increasingly bizarre.

    The top 10 worst bill names in recent memory…

    10. SLICE (School Lunch Improvements for Childrens Education Act) — It's about pizza, get it?

    9. DAIRY (Dairy Augmentation for Increased Retail in Yogurt) — Also by sponsored by Sen. Schumer. Do all food related bills have to have food-y acronyms?

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    Tags: Chuck Schumer, Facebook, House of Representatives, Senate
  • Mourning for the Beastie Boys' MCA Crosses Political Lines

    Today, practically every person under the age of 50 made a collective gut-punched noise upon learning the profoundly depressing news that Adam Yauch — otherwise known as MCA — from the Beastie Boys succumbed to a three-year battle with cancer.

    It's kind of nice to see people from all points of the political axis paying homage to a genuinely transformative figure in U.S. culture today…

    U.S. Senator from New York Chuck Schumer – Democrat

    New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg – Independent

    Candidate's son Matt Romney – Republican

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    Tags: Barack Obama, Chuck Schumer, Conservatives, Democrats, Liberals, Mitt Romney, Music, Republicans, Twitter
  • Congress Unites to Protect Drunken Facebook Photos

    Facebook profileDemocrats and Republicans don't agree on much these days. With the partisan fights over birth control and the Violence Against Women Act, it seems like the two parties can't unite behind anything anymore.

    Well, except for embarrassing Facebook photos

    Rep. Patrick McHenry (R-N.C.) is drafting legislation that would ban employers from asking for their workers' Facebook passwords, his office confirmed Wednesday. Sen. Richard Blumenthal (D-Conn.) is planning to introduce a similar measure in the Senate.

    According to recent media reports, there is a growing trend of employers demanding that job applicants provide passwords to their private Facebook accounts to check for embarrassing or damaging information.

    In a statement on Sunday, Sens. Blumenthal and Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) called the practice "disturbing" and said it "represents a grave intrusion into personal privacy."

    Most Republicans look exactly like your evil boss, so it's surprising they've chosen not to side with employers on this issue.

    In fact, it's nice to see members of opposing parties finally come together to protect the right of ordinary Americans to post scandalous half-nude keg stand photos to social media outlets. The bill doesn't have an official name yet, so we'll just call it Weiner's Law.

    Photo by John Moore/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Chuck Schumer, Facebook, House of Representatives, Internet, Richard Blumenthal, Science & Technology, Senate
  • The Daily Show on the State of the Union

    The Best F#@king New Team Ever offers the best f#@king analysis ever of the President's SOTU address, its responses and all the reasons that we're going to die.

    The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

    Tags: Al Madrigal, Barack Obama, Chuck Schumer, Indiana, Iran, Jon Stewart, Michelle Obama, Mitch Daniels, Mitt Romney, Osama bin Laden, Samantha Bee, State of the Union, Taxes, The Daily Show, Video, Wyatt Cenac
  • Al Franken Spreads Christmas Spirit to Cold, Lifeless Senators

    In a move that a cynical person might call politically calculated, but which I choose to call the sweetest, most adorable thing to happen ever, Al Franken has organized the Senate's first-ever Secret Santa

    Reports coming out of the gift exchange showed a group of senators seemingly giddy over their gifts. The biggest hit seemed to be Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.)’s receiving of an elephant and donkey carved from coal.

    The cockles of your heart aren't sufficiently warmed? How about this: The gift came from Senator Joe Manchin of West Virginia, along with the following note…

    "With an eight percent approval rating, both Democrats and Republicans in Congress deserve to have coal in their stocking this year. Lucky for us, my state has more than enough to go around."

    Ha ha ha! I do love when our societal betters poke fun at the lackluster job they're doing of governing us.

    But in all seriousness, the event seems to have gone well. So well, in fact, that maybe they'll revive it for Easter. You know, if we still have a Senate.

    Photo by Ryan Kelly/CQ-Roll Call Group/Getty Images

    Tags: Al Franken, Christmas, Chuck Schumer, Joe Manchin, Senate