Things Must Be Pleasant Around the McCain Dinner Table Lately

Cindy McCain's viral video concerning Don't Ask, Don't Tell…

.

And John McCain's viral video concerning Don't Ask, Don't Tell…

I don't know. Even allowing for Gene Simmons' presence, I still think John's is funnier. That guy just works so hard at what he does.

Tags: Cindy McCain, John McCain, LGBT, Military

Cindy McCain in Favor of Gay Marriage Apparently

Well, this is unexpected…

That's Cindy McCain — mother of Meghan McCain, wife of sitting Republican Sen. John McCain, female scion of Sghalthor Seven of the 4th Imperial District of Galaxia Pilt — and she's coming out in favor of marriage equality.

Sure, Meghan would support this, but her husband? Is it even possible that he's maybe also in favor of marriage equality? Can we even begin to entertain that possibility? (And don't even get me started on her parental gene-giving entity. That guy!)

Mitt Romney, meanwhile, is being courted by a gay rights group to get him to pull some strings with Grand Elders of the Mormon Church (or whatever they're called) to stop their quiet-but-moneyed opposition to gay marriage. (Spoiler Alert: There's approximately a zero point zero percent chance that he'll go for it.)

Can you imagine if Republicans actually picked up the cause — after the Democrats dropped like a used tissue — and actually did something with it? Wouldn't that be amazing?

Also, it would be amazing if I had a unicorn with machine gun turrets and George Peppard's voice.

Anyway… What were we talking about?

Tags: Cindy McCain, John McCain, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Meghan McCain, Mitt Romney, Republicans

From the Pork Barrel: Larry Craig, Political Consultant to the Stars

* Larry Craig's first piece of advice as your new consultant: Don't listen to anything Larry Craig tells you to do.

* Never accuse Meghan McCain of not having a sense of humor! Never!! (She really hates it when people confuse her with her mom.)

* In Lou Dobbs's dreams, Rachel Maddow is his very own tea-bagging queen.

* The Lobbyists! There's just too many of them! Game over, man! Game over!

* Jesus Christ! Why is Joe Biden talking the godamned Lord's name in vain, for Christ's sake?

* And the winner for The Year's Most Idiotic Piece of Political Punditry goes to…

Tags: Barack Obama, Christianity, Cindy McCain, CNN, George W. Bush, Israel, Joe Biden, John McCain, Larry Craig, Lou Dobbs, Meghan McCain, MSNBC, Pork Barrel, Rachel Maddow, Time Magazine

Cindy McCain Is Perplexed by Wonkette's Humor Jokes

Here is a document of her ongoing struggle to understand this thing that humans call "humor"…

It is an odd thing. These human bodies convulse in fits of laughter even though they are not witnessing the death throes of a supernova imploding into its own mass.

Very curious, these semi-intelligent hominids and their customs.

Update: Wonkette's response.

Tags: Cindy McCain, Wonkette

Poor Meghan McCain Just Can't Get a Date

Meghan McCain doesn't want you to like her for her powerful father or remarkably-human-seeming mother.

She wants you to like her for her generic good looks and mediocre personality…

"I fear the election has destroyed my ability and desire to date," McCain, 24, wrote in a lighthearted blog essay Monday on the Daily Beast. "Nothing kills my libido quite like discussing politics."

She loses interest "when I find my father's face staring back at me on a potential date's Facebook page," she explained. "I don't want to see my father's picture near any picture of a guy I am attracted to, especially if we haven't even had dinner yet."

The election inevitably comes up in dating conversation, she wrote. If a guy starts talking about Obama, her mind wanders. Her father's fans are just as annoying because "I don't want to date someone who idealizes my dad."

So, let's look at the potential suitors…

She is turned off by people who voted for President Obama. She also gets the willies from obsessive supporters of her dad.

I guess that leaves people who disliked her dad but were either too racist or blindly-partisan to vote for the black liberal.

Unfortunately, I think Sean Hannity's already married.

Tags: Cindy McCain, John McCain, Meghan McCain