Are you tired of hearing all that supposed "history" these so-called "professors" at these alleged "universities" are make-believingly "teaching"?
Of course you are! Because you are a patriot, and, as such, you are the Greatest American Hero in the Universe. So, here is your history. A hero's history…
Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, Birthers, Christianity, Civil War, George Washington, Kenya, LGBT, Racism, Religion, Sara Benincasa, Tea Party
It's no secret that South Carolina has a proud, proud history of racism and bigotry. Why, some folks might even say that it's in South Carolina where the babbling brook of racism and bigotry that runs through the history of this great nation pours itself into the reservoir of conservatism from which so many of our citizens drink.
After all, it was at the righteous insistence of Edward Rutledge — South Carolina's delegate to the Continental Congress — that anti-slavery verbiage was removed from the Declaration of Independence. And South Carolina was the first state to bravely secede from the Union in 1860 rather than face (among other concerns) its growing abolitionist sentiment, and a few months later began patriotically shelling the U.S. military base Fort Sumter which marked the beginning of the War of Northern Aggression. The Confederate Flag — borne of that same tireless struggle to maintain the right to own human beings — flapped majestically in the wind above South Carolina's state house from 1962 until 2000, when it was triumphantly relocated to a Confederate soldier's monument.
Let us also not forget the diligent efforts of the state legislators who held off until 1969 — nearly a half-century after it went into effect nationally — the ratification of the 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution that gave women the same right to vote as regular people get.
And just look at the state's GOP — the spiritual descendants of the Dixiecrats who once reigned supreme in The Palmetto State — now…
South Carolina Republicans made state Rep. Nikki Haley their first female gubernatorial nominee, handing her an easy victory in her primary runoff against U.S. Rep. Gresham Barrett — 65 percent to 35 percent… [Haley] is Indian-American and was raised Sikh, but became a Methodist at age 24…
Haley will be considered the favorite in the general election against state Sen. Vincent Sheheen, the Democratic gubernatorial nominee. Haley would become the Palmetto state's first woman governor if elected in November…
Tim Scott kept alive his hopes of becoming the first black Republican to win election to Congress from South Carolina in a century. He defeated Paul Thurmond, the son of the late Sen. Strom Thurmond, 68 percent to 32 percent in a GOP House primary runoff.
A female, former Sikh, brown version of Indian? Strom Thurmond's son losing to a black guy? What the hell is going on down there? When did South Carolina lose touch with its immoral center?
I'll tell you, somewhere up in Racist Heaven, there's a lot of guys in white suits spitting mint juleps all over each other right now.
Tags: Civil War, Founding Fathers, House of Representatives, Men and Women, Nikki Haley, Racism, Republicans, Slavery, Strom Thurmond, Tim Scott, Women's Rights
On last night's Colbert Report, Stephen discussed the controversy surrounding Confederate History Month. Apparently, the political correctness police are insisting Southerners acknowledge slavery when celebrating a war they fought over slavery. But that's ridiculous. I suppose I'm not allowed to remember the time I threw a basket of puppies down a flight of stairs without mentioning the puppies now. Can't I just focus on the basket, the stairs and the sweet pair of slacks I was wearing that day?
The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.
Tags: Bob McDonnell, Civil War, Haley Barbour, Mississippi, Slavery, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video, Virginia