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  • White House Won't Deport Piers Morgan

    On the heels of Alex Jones' implosion on the Piers Morgan show, the White House announced that it would respond to Jones' petition calling for Morgan's deportation because of his pro-gun control advocacy.

    The petition did create some unnatural alliances and mixed feelings — pro-gun conservatives found themselves wanting to deport a white person for once, liberals found themselves conflicted between defending First Amendment rights and the knowledge that this was Piers Morgan we're talking about — but it was a long shot. This morning's statement by White House press secretary Jay Carney confirms that our national nightmare of putting up with Morgan isn't going to end any time soon:

    Let's not let arguments over the Constitution's Second Amendment violate the spirit of its First. President Obama believes that the Second Amendment guarantees an individual right to bear arms. However, the Constitution not only guarantees an individual right to bear arms, but also enshrines the freedom of speech and the freedom of the press — fundamental principles that are essential to our democracy. Americans may disagree on matters of public policy and express those disagreements vigorously, but no one should be punished by the government simply because he or she expressed a view on the Second Amendment — or any other matter of public concern.

    Great, thanks. Now get to the Death Star petition already.

    Related: Alex Jones Goes Full Alex Jones on Piers Morgan Show [VIDEO]

    Photo by Stuart Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Alex Jones, CNN, Guns, Jay Carney, Piers Morgan, White House
  • Alex Jones Goes Full Alex Jones on Piers Morgan Show [VIDEO]

    If I were Alex Jones, I'd think the Alex Jones appearance on last night's Piers Morgan show were a government conspiracy to discredit Alex Jones. Except no government agent could come up with a rant so vividly unhinged; it was definitely Jones doing the interview…

    Read More »


    Tags: Alex Jones, CNN, Conspiracies, Guns, Piers Morgan
  • Nobody Wants Rootless Hobo Piers Morgan

    As of this morning, the White House web-petition to deport CNN host Piers Morgan has over 81,000 signatures, well over the 25,000 benchmark required for an official response from the Obama administration. Created by gun-owners in the wake of Morgan's comments in favor of gun control, the petition has riven the souls of liberal minded Americans who want to defend the First Amendment rights but are also cognizant of the fact that this is Piers Morgan we're talking about.

    Morgan's fellow Brits have no such dilemma. Over 5,000 petitioners have called on the White House to "Keep Piers Morgan in America" because he's no use to them back home…

    We want to keep Piers Morgan in the USA.

    There are two very good reasons for this. Firstly, the first amendment.

    Second and the more important point. No one in the UK wants him back.

    At this point, we need a United Nations High Commissioner on British Entertainment Refugees. It's true that America has long been a refuge for the likes of Morgan, Russell Brand and Simon Cowell, but we can't be forced to bear the burden of all these people, can we?

    Photo by Stuart Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: CNN, Guns, Immigration, Piers Morgan
  • Psy, Anti-American Guy

    Psy Gangnam StyleOh dear. America's favorite Korean superstar, Park Jae-sang (aka Psy), may not be the lovable pop-rap muppet we thought he was.

    According to reports, in his pre-meme days Psy participated in at least two anti-U.S. protest concerts, including a 2004 performance where he joined a group singalong of Korean band N.E.X.T.'s "Dear America," which goes something like this:

    Kill those fucking Yankees who have been torturing Iraqi captives
    Kill those fucking Yankees who ordered them to torture
    Kill their daughters, mothers, daughters-in-law, and fathers
    Kill them all slowly and painfully

    Interestingly, a CNN iReporter wrote a post about this back in October, but nobody noticed, because who even looks at CNN iReports? Nobody at CNN, that's for sure.

    Now people are calling for President Obama to cancel Psy's scheduled performance at this year's "Christmas in Washington" concert, and it's possible Americans have lost their taste for Gangnam Style for good.

    The one upside: You won't have to watch your grandmother doing the horse dance at Christmas.

    Previously
    Alan Simpson Dances Gangnam Style [VIDEO]
    The Best and Worst "Gangnam Style" Political Parodies

    Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images


    Tags: CNN, Gangnam Style, Music, Psy, South Korea
  • 5 Wacky Ways to Learn Who Won the Election

    Most Americans will learn the identity of their next president via their television or the Internet. But what if you're not into modern communication? What if you like to learn about election results the old-fashioned way: through weird gimmicks? This Election Day, you're covered…

    1. CNN will use the Empire State Building to display the presidential race's projected tally on a LED-lit screen. The Building's spire will light up red for Romney and blue for Obama — much wiser than my idea of hanging Wolf Blitzer off Empire State, King Kong-style, and demanding that he wave a red or blue flag for the appropriate victor.

    Read More »


    Tags: CNN, Election Day 2012, NBC