Latest Posts
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Ron Paul Knows the Election Results
Like other small wizened creatures concerned with gold, Ron Paul is willing to tell you a secret if you only manage to catch him. Those interviewing him today were most interested in learning Paul's prediction of tonight's results…
Tags: CNN, Election Day 2012, Ron Paul -
Men's Hormones Determine Election Results
Yesterday CNN published and quickly took down an article titled "Do Hormones Drive Women's Votes?" From what I could discern from the reporting, women don't even cast formal ballots anymore. They just write Barack Obama's name in cursive script, over and over again on their Lisa Frank binders, and send that in to their Board of Elections in lieu of an absentee ballot. States have to accept this as a valid vote thanks to ACORN.
Men, on the other hand, vote using pure logic. Their gonads secrete the reason hormone directly into the bloodstream, which allows them to base their decisions on a careful, dispassionate analysis of the issues. Issues, such as, who won the Illinois versus Ohio State foot ball game?
Tags: CNN, Men and Women, Science & Technology, Sports -
CNN Wonders: Do Ladies Vote Because Hormones?
Or, as CNN.com puts it, "Do hormones drive women's votes?" Sorry, CNN, you will have to answer this very important question by yourself because I am totally on the rag right now WHERE IS THE CHOCOLATE ACK OMG LOL WHO IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT IS IT JIMMY CHOO OMG OMG BATHING SUIT!!1!
Photo by H. Armstrong Roberts/Retrofile/Getty Images
Tags: CNN, Men and Women, Science & Technology -
Debate Winners, Losers and Binders
Winners
1. AK-47s, which Mitt Romney loves a lot more than other kinds of 47-ers.
2. Jeremy. And whoever loaned Jeremy his suit.
3. The guy who was wearing a Barack Obama mask this evening.
4. Mitt Romney's pension, if he still has any stock in Staples. Binder sales are gonna go through the roof.
5. New York, and especially New Yawk. We finally heard about jawbs.
6. Nassau Community College. What Long Islanders affectionately call the 13th grade got a shout-out.
7. Transcripts. Especially ones published after the Benghazi attacks, reading, "No acts of terror will ever shake the resolve of this great nation…"
Losers
1. The guy who pretended to be Barack Obama in the first debate.
2. The guy who accidentally decided who he was voting for yesterday, like an asshole.
3. The Gallup staffers who thought these audience members were really undecided.
4. CNN closed captioning, displaying "Labia" instead of "Libya." (This actually happened.)
5. Candy Crowley's conservative street cred.
6. Joe Biden, whose thunder was just stolen.
7. Wolf Blitzer, who probably spent the whole night on his hologram deck, seething with jealousy.
RELATED: Mitt Romney's Binder Full of Awkward
Photos by Mandel Ngan/AFP/Getty Images
Tags: Barack Obama, Candy Crowley, CNN, Debates, Guns, Joe Biden, Libya, Mitt Romney, New York, Wolf Blitzer -
Debates Don't Matter vs. All Hail President Mitt Romney
Reading campaign coverage last week and today offers a very confusing lesson: 1) presidential debates don't matter, and 2) Mitt Romney's stellar debate performance is the greatest electoral coup since Dwight Eisenhower stuffed Adlai Stevenson into a gym locker.
You can see the media organizations straining so hard to let political scientists offer their conclusions about the relative importance of debates before bowing down before their one true God: the horse-race…
Tags: Andrew Sullivan, CNN, Debates, Fox News, Media, Mitt Romney, MSNBC, The Atlantic
