George W. Bush, Rudy Giuliani and Colin Powell Will Speak to Everyone You've Ever Met For Whatever You've Got in Your Wallet and a Few Sandwiches
So, you've got less than $20 in your budget, but really really need to get a former President of the United States to give a motivational speech to every single person that you work with. You're probably screwed, right? Because that's how things usually work in real life, right? Right?
Actually, maybe not. I have a feeling something can be arranged…
I know. I know! Those 1,900 pennies are only going to get you George W. Bush standing in front of all your co-workers? Really? Is that the best offer we can come up with?
Not in America, it's not!
Besides [Terry] Bradshaw ("legendary NFL Hall of Fame quarterback), [Zig] Ziglar ("America's #1 motivator") and [Rudy] Giuliani ("America's mayor"), Bush will appear at the Fort Worth event with Colin Powell ("legendary soldier-statesman"), Robert Schuller ("America's best inspirational speaker"), Rick Belluzzo ("legendary president of Microsoft") and Tamara Lowe ("top sales expert and author of Get Motivated!").
Nia Vardalos ("star of My Big Fat Greek Wedding and My Life in Ruins") apparently had conflicts that day. Maybe next year.
Tags: Colin Powell, George W. Bush, Rudy Giuliani, Texas
Judge Dreading It Already: Man, David Greenberg makes being nominated for the Supreme Court sound like harrowing trip down to the last house on the left. Have fun, Sonia Sotomayer! Whether or not conservatives start sparking up the coals to drag her over remains to be seen, but one thing is certain… to Repubicans, "empathy" is just another way of saying "Judge Oprah." [latimes.com]
Dreaming Of Ronald: While Dick Cheney and Colin Powell duke it out in Thunderdome over the future of the Republican party, lone columnist Frank Donatelli meekly pines for a return to Reagan-flavored conservatism. Here is another right-leaning scribbler penning love letters to a man who's politics were inclusive, optimistic, and devoid of alienating wedge issues. Big hearts to The Gipper, yo? [washingtontimes.com]
Jesus Chansaw Massacre: Conservative blogger Steven Crowder goes trolling on the interwebz with a post that declares all Christians are serial killers. Of course, this is all rhetorical derring-do. What Steven is actually saying is the evil, liberal Hollywood goes out of it's way to portray Christians in a negative way. Which might or might not have an itty-bit of validity. Although I take issue with his thesis that all movie baddies are Christian. Hannibal Lecter was certainly a secularist, for instance. The Christian cross is a time-honored weapon against Hollywood's favorite monster — the vampire. See, Steven, not all Christians are serial killers. They're pedophiles. [bighollywood.com]
Left-Wing Loonybird Weeps For Terrorists: Radio Free Europe interviews a godless hippie liberal who thinks Terrorist Club Med should be closed, and that captured evildoers shouldn't be "extreme shampooed." Why does this prancing fruit hate America so much? Also, the man who expresses these opinions is none other than US Central Command commander and Iraqi "surge" architect General David Petraeus. What the hell is going on? What next? Cats and dogs living together? [rfel.org]
Tags: Christianity, Colin Powell, David Petraeus, Dick Cheney, Ronald Reagan, The Blog Hole