Texas Continues to Promote Rampant Dumbassery

Texas has long been known for its blatant hippie liberalism, its shameless adherence to the politically correct agenda, and its slavish devotion to Islam. Oh, are you not familiar with this version of "reality?" Then clearly you are not one of the ultra right-wing members of the Texas Board of Education.

These barely-literate wastes of human bodies have bonded together to bravely battle a nonexistent anti-Christian bias that they perceive inside their very tiny mesquite-flavored brains. They're going to vote on a resolution to tell educational publishers to stop putting so many non-hateful sentences about Islam into their textbooks/propaganda tools…

The resolution was written and submitted to the board this summer by, Randy Rives, who as a member of the school board in Odessa, Tex., pushed through a Bible study curriculum.

Last spring, Mr. Rives ran for the state board but failed to defeat the incumbent, Bob Craig, a moderate Republican.

Defeat at the polls did not dampen Mr. Rives's enthusiasm for protecting Texas students from what he sees as a conspiracy to sugarcoat the history of Islam in textbooks. In interviews, Mr. Rives has likened his concerns about Islam to those he and other Americans once had about communists infiltrating American society.

Texas, the great state that legitimized George W. Bush as a chief executive. Texas, the brave region that sponsors more state-funded executions than does any non-U.S. First World nation. Texas, the proud land that allows rifle-toting nutjobs to purchase liquor at drive-thru joints.

Because Texas places such huge textbook orders, publishers are inclined to actually seriously consider its idiotic resolutions rather than risk losing such a huge chunk of profit. How fan-effing-tastic that a bureaucratic cabal of idiots has the power to foul up the educations of millions of schoolkids across the United States.

Because American kids aren't dumb enough AS IT IS.

Tags: Books, Communism, Education, Islam, Religion, Texas

Socialist or Communist: Which One Are You?

Don't even try denying it, because everybody knows a denial is just another form of confession. We've been watching you. We've seen the news sites you visit, and we have records of the stories you read. We have tape of you watching a Rachel Maddow clip. We know you. You're obviously either a Socialist or a Communist. If not both. This will all be easier for you and your family if you just cooperate.

Of course, it's always possible that you're not fully aware of your own predilections. That you're not sure whether you prefer marching under a red flag or a slightly redder flag. Perhaps we should subject you to The Ordeal (with "The Ordeal" being this quick, easy and painless quiz that we at Indecision just launched on Facebook). Yes, I think perhaps that is the what we should do.

Tags: Communism, Facebook, Games and Challenges, Internet, Socialism

Here's a Great T-Shirt That You Should Definitely Buy

Check out this badass t-shirt they're selling over at the Texas GOP's biennial convention…

That'll go great with my camouflage Sarah Palin 2012 baseball hat. I'm gonna be the most stylish guy at the Apocalypse.

Tags: Communism, Education, Fashion, Republicans, Sarah Palin, Texas

"The Only Good Communist Is a Dead Communist," at Least According to This Very Loud Person

This teabagger guy seems like a nice, reasonable, even-keeled fellow. I wonder what gems of political science he has to offer the world. Let's find out…

I wonder if this guy has considered running for Congress.

(via BuzzFeed)

Tags: Communism, Health Care, House of Representatives, Military, Nicaragua, Socialism, Tea Party

Victoria Jackson "Is the Tea Party People," Also a Prophet

Fox News was just covering some teabagging thing that's supposedly happening today on account of what important news that is, when they decided it was vitally important to interview SNL performer Victoria Jackson, who will be participating, to show just how grounded, normal, likable, and not-at-all-misinformed-and-willfully-ignorant your average teabagger is.

I really think she nailed it, don't you?

Jackson: I never did anything like this, but we have to, because the President's a communist.

Doocy: Now, he is not a communist…

Jackson: You might not say "communist," but I watch Glenn Beck, and he's taught me well. "Progressive" is the new word for "communist," but it's the same goal. It's government control of everything. And it's very obvious that Obama's trying to do that. I don't wanna brag, but I sorta called it before he was elected and I was on O'Reilly and I said he was a communist. I got a lot of hate mail, but I got some that said I was "prescient," which means "a prophet."

Yep. Totally nailed it. Totally, totally. I don't wanna brag, but I sorta knew she would. Because, you see, the Lord sent down an archangel to strike me with seven months of spasms, during which time I was made to only eat my own hair, which I interpreted to mean that Victoria Jackson would pretty much nail this Fox and Friends interview.

(via Little Green Footballs)

Tags: Barack Obama, Communism, Fox, Glenn Beck, Saturday Night Live, Steve Doocy, Tea Party, Victoria Jackson