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Connie Mack
  • Why Did Bill Nelson Buy Cocaine for Our Future Monkey Overlords? [VIDEO]

    Republican congressman Connie Mack is on the air with his first television ad in Florida's Senate race, attacking Democratic incumbent Bill Nelson for voting in favor of the 2009 stimulus bill. Specifically, Mack's concern is that while unemployment rate approached 10%, Nelson was giving all the good cocaine-snorting jobs to our simian brethren…

    "He voted for millions in wasteful spending. Including…." a woman intones as $144,541 starts flashing on screen, "spending our tax dollars to see how monkeys react under the influence of cocaine."

    Monkeys hoot as the camera shows pictures of various primates. "Hey Bill Nelson," she says, "stop monkeying around with our tax dollars."

    So is this all part of a policy of appeasement we hear so much about, with Democratic lawmakers kowtowing to our future monkey masters by paying tribute in stimulus coke in exchange for leniency after the ape uprising? Alas, no. The money in question was a grant to The Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center, funding a study to understand and treat drug addiction and relapse.

    At least we found an instance where some conservatives will oppose the war on drugs. Nothing can be allowed to interfere with the war on science.

    Tags: Advertising, Bill Nelson, Connie Mack, Drugs, Florida, Science & Technology, Senate