Indecision Internationale 2010: The Morning After the Weekend Before

Update: Brown is resigning and the British economy sinks into the Atlantic.

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The British people has spoken! And they have said "Ummm…"

With no overall winner in the British General Election, negotiations as to which political parties will form the next British government have continued through the weekend. Nick Clegg of the Liberal Democrats has continued to be a pricktease to both Still-Hanging-on-as-Prime-Minister Gordon Brown of the Labour Party and Leader-of-the-Opposition-But-We-Got-More-Votes-than-Brown David Cameron of the Conservative Party.

Those are the official titles, by the way, Oh yes.

So as we are a government-less country, chimney sweeps have taken to the streets in a battle with boisterous soccer fans, rising around on red double decker buses, and brandishing their unset, un-whitened teeth, while Lily Allen, Sir Michael Cain, Paul McCartney, David Beckham and any other Brits you may have vaguely heard of try to keep order. Or something like that. Look, I can fight against stereotypes, but sometimes you’ve just got to go with them.

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Tags: Conservative Party (UK), David Cameron, Gordon Brown, Indecision Internationale, Labour Party (UK), Liberal Democrat Party (UK), Nick Clegg, United Kingdom

Andrew Sullivan Teaches Stephen Colbert the True Meaning of a Very, Very Hung Parliament

The Daily Dish's Andrew Sullivan was on The Colbert Report last night to discuss the clustershag Britons are currently experiencing, and the responses are apparently pouring in…

Was that a beard, or did a beaver die on your face?

Does it have to be one or the other? Isn't compromise supposed to be the upside of a parliamentary system?

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Tags: Andrew Sullivan, Conservative Party (UK), David Cameron, Gordon Brown, Indecision Internationale, Labour Party (UK), Liberal Democrat Party (UK), Nick Clegg, Porn, Queen Elizabeth, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, United Kingdom

Indecision Internationale 2010: What If You Had an Election and Nothing Happened?

So we had an election yesterday. The mother of all Parliaments asked its people to grace it with our votes. And we complied, in record numbers, some crowding stations so much so that they were left unable to vote. The count went on well into the early hours and we awoke this morning keen to discover at which lucky individual fate had pointed its fickle finger, intoning, "You! Ugly White Man! Rule the Country."

But its finger hadn't pointed at anyone, just played its part in a dismissive wave. We have a hung parliament. And not in a "Why, Mr Parliament, aren't you impressively hung!" kind of way. Instead, Britain is feeling rather flaccid. No one is in control. And no one is sure who will be. Our demonstration to the world of open, reliable, trustworthy democracy has resulted in shady backroom deals between politicians and their familiars — literally anything could happen. They could emerge saying that we will now be a revolutionary monarchy with the clone of Winston Churchill catapulted (literally) onto the throne wearing a chicken hat. We just don't know.

Gordon Brown, as incumbent Prime Minister, is meant to get first crack at forming a government by reaching out to other parties. But any deal with the Liberal Democrats would likely involve a introducing a fairer system of electoral representation, giving their party a better shake of the stick — and ensuring that this kind of thing happens every election. And even with them onside he wouldn't quite have enough seats to form a government.

David Cameron — leader of the now-largest party, the Conservatives — is making as many deals with parties as he can but looks determined to govern as a minority government, unable to pass much legislation or do much else besides trying to cut costs, hoping to keep his party together and praying that not too many of them die in office.

While Nick Clegg of the Liberal Democrats got many less seats and votes than expected, he seems likely casting the deciding vote on every piece of legislation that comes through the door. Yes, the future of the country is in the hands of the man that the least people voted for.

Can't we have a good old fashioned dictatorship again? It was so much easier to work out what was going on….

Of course, my Member of Parliament is now no longer an anti-airport Liberal Democrat but a millionaire, overseas domicled, Jewish pig farming Conservative who doesn't like science. So that should be fun.

You know, It's weird. We currently have no government. And yet nothing has collapsed. The libertarians were right!!!

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Rich Johnston lives in London, works in advertising, writes about comics and draws cartoons for the UK's leading political blog, Guido Fawkes. He'll vote for the first party that promises to legalise the smoking of squirrels for medicinal purposes.

Tags: Conservative Party (UK), David Cameron, Gordon Brown, Indecision Internationale, Labour Party (UK), Liberal Democrat Party (UK), Nick Clegg, United Kingdom

Indecision Internationale2010: Eddie Izzard Speaks His Brains for Labour

In case you're unaware, the Merry Old United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is holding it's general election tomorrow. Huge governmental changes coming tomorrow. And this ad with Eddie Izzard is the kind of political spot the British people get? Talking?! And when I say "talking," I don't mean "accusing" and "condemning." I mean something a bit closer to "informing" and "persuading."

Oh, England. How so very droll you are…

Tags: Conservative Party (UK), David Cameron, Eddie Izzard, Gordon Brown, Indecision Internationale, Labour Party (UK), United Kingdom

Indecision Internationale 2010: The "Doctor Who" General Election

If you've never heard of Doctor Who — the forty-seven year running TV series on the BBC — stop now, find another article, there's probably one with Glenn Beck looking silly on it.

Okay? Well, if you're still here, I'm assuming that you are familiar with the show about time-traveling alien The Doctor in a blue box obsessed with Earth and sticking his oar in around the universe, often pursuing or pursued by the metal-cased Dalek race. In Britain, it's pretty much the top rated show going and in the US the new season just broke audience records over at BBC America.

It's so popular in Britain that it seems to have merged with the General Election campaign. The Radio Times, the UK equivalent of the TV times, ran three separate covers the other week, each with a different coloured Dalek matching the three main parties on the front with Westminster in the background, with the headline "Vote Dalek."

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Tags: Conservative Party (UK), David Cameron, Gordon Brown, Indecision Internationale, Labour Party (UK), Television, United Kingdom