Colbert: John McCain Is Now President of New Jersey and Virginia

In light of Tuesday's elections, one thing is abundantly clear: If you want your boring local election to gain unwarranted national weight and prominence, hold it in an off year. Better yet, don't even hold it in November. Move your deputy county comptroller election to April 2011, and watch it become a bellwether referendum on the future of all carbon-based species.

After the jump, coverage of the election results continues with The Daily Show.

The Daily Show and Colbert Report air Monday through Thursday starting at 11pm / 10c.

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Tags: Barack Obama, Bill O'Reilly, Bill Owens, Bob McDonnell, Chris Christie, Constitution Party, Creigh Deeds, Doug Hoffman, Glenn Beck, House of Representatives, John McCain, Jon Corzine, Jon Stewart, New Jersey, New York, Sean Hannity, Stephen Colbert, Tea Party, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Video, Virginia

Sarah Palin Wins Virginia Away from Barack Obama

Looks like she did it! Sarah Palin has successfully robocalled her way into a thrilling victory against Barack Obama in Virginia to win the governorship for Robert McDonnell…

The gubernatorial race in the Old Dominion State goes to Robert McDonnell, the Republican candidate and former attorney general. We’re all calling the race for the G.O.P. candidate, with R. Creigh Deeds, the Democrat and state senator, trailing.

Congratulations to Ms. Palin. I think I speak for everyone when I say that we all knew you and your values could do it!

But what happens to Obama now? Does he just resign tomorrow? He's not gonna have to serve out the remaining three years of his lame duck presidency, will he?

Tags: Barack Obama, Bob McDonnell, Creigh Deeds, Sarah Palin, Virginia

Virginia Candidate Creigh Deeds Caught on Tape With a Young Lady

Meanwhile, over in the Virginia gubernatorial race, Democrat Creigh Deeds has been having a very sad week — although weirdly enough, it turns out his name is pronounced "Cree," not "Cry." First his opponent's campaign mocked his stutter, and now the Republicans are out with an ad showing Creigh and this attractive female person… well, see for yourself:

Yep, "young lady," you heard right. Creigh Deeds's shot at the Virginia governor's mansion is over! Nothing galvanizes the Republican base like a man who's mildly patronizing to women — why, they simply will not stand for such things.

As for Democrats, they prefer "sweetie" to "young lady." It's more personal that way.

Tags: Creigh Deeds, Democrats, Republicans, Virginia