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Crime
  • Days Without Offensive Rape Remark Counter Reset to Zero

    We were doing so well! Almost an entire week without a single offensive remark about rape coming from a politician of either party, and here comes John Koster — the Republican nominee for Washington's First Congressional District — to ruin our new record

    "On the rape thing, it's like, how does putting more violence onto a woman's body and taking the life of an innocent child that's the consequence of this crime, how does that make it better?" Koster said. "You know what I mean?"

    Obviously, the flippancy of the remarks — "Yeah, I was gonna go to the store but then the 'rape thing' came up and I totes forgot about it" — is attracting the most attention, but it's Koster's inability to distinguish between the violation of sexual assault and the voluntarism of a freely chosen abortion that's most offensive.

    Still, a word to the wise: If you're a male politician, best to do more listening than speaking when it comes to the "rape thing." Maybe spend more time talking about what you're going to do about the poverty thingamajig and the education doohickey.

    Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Abortion, Crime, Washington, Women's Rights
  • Silvio Berlusconi Gets Four Years for Regular Rich Guy Behavior

    I was not even aware that courts were allowed to find billionaire politicians guilty of stuff. Isn't that against The Four Seasons Hotel des Bergues Geneva Penthouse Suite Code?

    Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi was sentenced to four years in jail on Friday for tax fraud in connection with the purchase of broadcasting rights by his Mediaset television company.

    The 76-year-old billionaire, who was convicted three times during the 1990s in the first degree before being cleared by higher courts, has the right to appeal the ruling two more times before the sentence becomes definitive. He will not be jailed unless he loses the final appeal.

    Kind of ironic that the insanely rich Silvio Berlusconi has been sentenced to four years in the big house for not wanting to pay any taxes just as it's looking like the insanely rich Mitt Romney might get sentenced to four years in the White House for not wanting to pay any taxes. Tough days for plutocrats, huh?

    I wouldn't worry too much. Seems very doubtful that either guy will serve a day.

    Photo by Filippo Monteforte/AFP/Getty Images


    Tags: Crime, Italy, Mitt Romney, Money, Silvio Berlusconi, Taxes
  • TSA Hired Alleged Molester Priest to Make Us Safer

    One rare locus of agreement between congressional Democrats and Republicans concerns the Department of Homeland Security's Transportation Safety Administration. Yes, it's a corrupt boondoggle that does little to keep Americans safe, but it's our  bipartisan corrupt boondoggle that does little to keep Americans safe, so long may it grope.

    Fortunately, the TSA has redeeming features. Americans looking for career advice are always being told to "do what you love," and in the case of one alleged pedophile, the TSA made dreams come true

    About four months after being defrocked by the Diocese of Camden in 2002, Thomas Harkins had a new job as a security officer, including patting down passengers, with the Transportation Security Administration at Philadelphia International Airport.

    The TSA hired the former priest before completing a background check, the agency recently confirmed. According to a church document, the diocese revealed to the TSA in 2003 as part of the background check that Harkins had been removed from ministry because of allegations he had molested two grade-school girls. Harkins was never criminally prosecuted, but the diocese settled civil lawsuits for $195,000.

    The TSA took no action as a result of the disclosure.

    Now, now, you say, "An organization that has a higher tolerance for child molestation than the Catholic Church is an institutional failure." I say, the government has finally discarded an outdated civil service system in favor of hiring people based on qualifications. No Al-Qaeda "grade-school girl" will be smuggling a bomb in "her" pants under the TSA's watch.


    Tags: Catholic Church, Crime, Homeland Security, Religion, Sex, TSA
  • Rahm Emanuel to Fundraise for Obama Because Chicago Has No Problems Left

    Excited for the opportunity to yell at wealthy donors instead of measly interns, Mayor Rahm Emanuel is slated to leave his honorary position as co-chairman of  the Obama campaign to focus on fundraising for Priorities USA Action, a super PAC founded by two former Obama aides. It's a good thing he doesn't have some other job requiring his attention

    According to statistics compiled by the Tribune, there were 366 homicides in Chicago from the start of the year until Sept. 2 as compared to 282 for the same period last year. The numbers of shootings increased from 1,547 to 1,704 over that span.

    This morning, the police are investigating a spree of weekend shootings that left at least 11 people wounded and 2 dead. Or as it's known in Chicago, Monday.

    But give Rahm a break. All too often we forget all the Chicagoans who haven't been murdered on his watch. Like the kids still going to Chicago Public Schools

    Read More »


    Tags: Chicago, Crime, Education, Illinois, Rahm Emanuel, Unions
  • Please Hold While Rep. Todd Akin Notarizes Your Legitimate Rape

    Exciting news in the world of women's reproductive health was announced this weekend by a Republican member of the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology and candidate for Senate, Missouri congressman Todd Akin…

    From what I understand from doctors, that's [pregnancy from rape] really rare. If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that down. But let's assume that maybe that didn't work or something. I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child.

    Unfortunately, by "news," I meant to write "13th century pseudo-medical theory that has surprising cachet with parts of the pro-life movement."

    After an intense round of mockery and calls for him to withdraw from the Senate race against incumbent Democrat Claire McCaskill, Akin said in a statement that he "misspoke," his less-advanced male body having failed to shut down the crazy thoughts being formed in his brain.

    Read More »


    Tags: Abortion, Claire McCaskill, Crime, Missouri, Senate, Todd Akin