Americans Demand a Joe Biden Reality Show

Spiro Agnew, one of Joe Biden's extremely uncomedic vice presidential predecessors, once called American television a "vast wasteland." This may soon change.

Proposing an idea so logical as to be almost obvious once you've heard it, petitioners are asking the Obama administration to sanction a Joe Biden reality TV show…

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Tags: CSPAN, Joe Biden, Television, White House

Jon Stewart and the Daily Show on Cable News

The 24-hour cable news cycle… Is there anything that has ever more greatly impacted civilization? Well, besides war, famine, pestilence… But that's all Hall of Fame stuff that's been going on for millennia. Give cable news a chance to catch up.

Fox News

MSNBC, CNN and more after the jump.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

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Tags: CNN, CSPAN, Fox News, Jon Stewart, MSNBC, TDS On Topic, The Daily Show, Video

What Does the GOP Chairman Not Want Us to Know About Mitt Romney's Penis?

The New Hampshire primary ended in a landslide for Mitt Romney yesterday. What explains this historic victory? Many would credit his success with the lack of any viable alternative.

But perhaps there’s something else to Romney’s engorged popularity…

Heard on C-SPAN in the 8 a.m. hour: Caller to Wayne MacDonald, Chairman of the New Hampshire Republican party: "Does Mitt Romney have a big penis?"

The embarrassed, obviously rattled, C-SPAN host quickly apologized to the Chairman. "I want to make sure I heard him right," MacDonald said, smiling widely after an initial slight eye bulge.

The caller clearly mistook Washington Journal for C-SPAN’s usual afternoon phone-sex/budget-policy call-in show, Wonking Off.

But the GOP Chairman's awkward silence does raise some questions: What is MacDonald hiding? What sinister secrets does he possess about Romney’s mini-Mitt? Romney has campaigned on a platform of small government, but maybe his stimulus package support was bigger than we thought.

Now that he's off the campaign trail, I'm sure Marcus Bachmann would be more than happy to help get to the bottom of this.

Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: CSPAN, Mitt Romney, New Hampshire, Primaries, Republicans, Sex

John Boehner Heroically Shuts Off C-SPAN News Feed, Saves Dozens of Americans from Having to Hear Bad Things About Republicans

If there's one thing that's truly tearing this country, it's partisan bickering. It's not really important who is mounting an incredibly unpopular battle against an extension a payroll tax cut for middle class Americans during a recession despite claiming to be an anti-tax party. What's important is that the poor (soon-to-be-poorer) innocent citizenry not get poisoned by all this ugliness.

That's why I'm glad that when given the chance last year to allow C-SPAN to control its own cameras and extend their coverage of congressional proceedings, House Speaker John Boehner said no. He is a wise and just man, and he knew that one day he would have to weird unilateral power over those unhealthy and unpatriotic machines…

As Rep. Stenny Hoyer (D-MD) attempted to call for a vote to extend a payroll tax cut to middle class and working Americans, his Republican colleagues adjourned the House and walked out of the chamber. And if that weren’t odd enough, it got even stranger: As Hoyer railed against them for failing to help working Americans, footage from C-SPAN went silent, then cut away…

"We regret, Mr. Speaker, that you have walked off the platform without addressing the issue of critical importance to this country, and that is the continuation of the middle class tax cut, the continuation of unemployment benefits for those at risk of losing them, and a continuation of the access to doctors for all those 48 million seniors who rely on them daily for help."

And that's when the audio cut out. Seconds later, footage faded to a shot of the capitol from outside.

Moments later, someone at C-SPAN took to Twitter and explained: "C-SPAN has no control over the U.S. House TV cameras – the Speaker of the House does."

Can you imagine? The 37 to 52 people who are watching C-SPAN at any given time almost had to hear what Rep. Hoyer had to say about Republican efforts to increase taxes for the middle class. Luckily, Boehner stepped in and did what needed to be done.

Crisis averted.

Photo by Douglas Graham/CQ-Roll Call Group/Getty Images

Tags: CSPAN, House of Representatives, John Boehner, Steny Hoyer, Taxes

From the Pork Barrel: Herman and the Newt

* CSPAN has announced that it will offer live coverage of Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain's debate this Saturday. Unfortunately, this means that Paint Drying on That One Wall in the Congressional Cafeteria is getting bumped to CSPAN2.

* Looks like there might maybe be a GOP debate on The View. Though, it seems unlikely the candidates would subject themselves to such serious questioning.

* Anonymous is canceling its war on Mexican drug cartels on account of HOLY SHIT!

* Alright, guys! We're finally back to where we were in the Great Depression! I knew we could do it!

Photos by Stephen Morton/Getty Images News/Getty Images & Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: ABC, Crime, CSPAN, Drugs, Internet, Mexico, Occupy Wall Street, Pork Barrel, Television, The View