Welcome to The Indecision 11, our soft-hitting — caressing, really — politics questionnaire for smart, funny people. This week: Dan St. Germain, who, alongside his luxurious beard, has appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, John Oliver's New York Stand-Up Show, the Montreal Just for Laughs Festival, the WTF with Marc Maron podcast and too many club stages to count. Get into his podcast, My Dumb Friends (with co-host Sean Donnelly), and follow him on Twitter: @DSGermain.
What's your earliest political memory?
My earliest political memory… I was nine months old and Michael Dukakis walked away from my crib. I heard a door slam, and then my mom was taking me in her arms and whispering, "Daddy's not coming home." (Dan takes a shot of whiskey as a tear begins to form in the corner of his eye.)
What do you think of people who don't vote?
You're either voting and part of the solution or not voting and part of the reason why Papa John's delivers at 10 a.m.
If you could meet any political figure, living or dead, who would it be?
Chester A. Arthur, for inspiring the douchebag hipster moustache of today.
Tags: Dan St. Germain, The Indecision 11
Look! It doesn't matter who you are or how little you know. This is Election Day, and it is your God-given duty to go out there and vote for the person your intestines are telling you to vote for!
Tags: Cramming for Midterms, Dan St. Germain, Election Day
Hello citizens! I'm comedian and regular Indecision contributor Sara Benincasa, and it is my great honor to belatedly announce my top-secret candidacy and subsequent election to the office of Indecision Delegate! And my campaign slogan, "I WILL ROCK YOUR FACE OFF!" has taken such root in the hearts and minds of my supporters that I've chosen to continue its use throughout my tenure ("Yes we can!" is soooo 2008.)
"But Sara," you may protest, "I didn't even get to vote for you! Nor was I made aware of any such campaign and/or candidacy! I didn't even know that 'Indecision Delegate' was a thing. Is that really a thing? It sounds like something you just made up. Did you just make that up?"
Oh, haha, you wacky jokester! Of course it is a thing, and after my top-secret, illegal and undemocratic election, I'm revving up to road-trip down to D.C for the impending midterm elections (and a certain pair of dueling political rallies led by Famous Entertainment Personages.) There will be blog posts. There will be videos. There will be tomfoolery. There will be haberdashery, scrimshaw and a host of other outdated trades. Essentially, it's going to be really flippin' awesome and will surely provide a complement to the fine works of my fellow midterm specialists Eugene Mirman, Baratunde Thurston, and Dan St. Germain.
So join me, dear Americans, on a journey of epic and fantastic proportions. Together, we'll go deep into the bewitchingly glorious hearts of the Angles, O'Donnells, Reids and Paladinos of this bold nation. I pledge to represent you to the best of my superhuman, sexy ability as I embark on the greatest quest any journalist has ever known: to make amusing statements about midterm elections. Onward and upward! I WILL ROCK YOUR FACE OFF!
Tags: Baratunde Thurston, Cramming for Midterms, Dan St. Germain, Eugene Mirman, March to Keep Fear Alive, Midterms, Rally to Restore Sanity, Sara Benincasa
You may have heard of the Tea Party, but have you heard of the even-Tea-Partier Tea Party within the Tea Party, which makes the Tea Party look like an actual tea party?
No? Well then hold onto your American flag bandana, because you're about to get some Bald Headed Eagle Justice League of America all over your junk!
Tags: Bloggers on Camera, Cramming for Midterms, Dan St. Germain, Republicans, Tea Party, Video