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Top 10 Things Barack Obama Should NOT Say on Letterman (Too Late)

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! I meant to get this Top Ten list of of ridiculously stupid things that President Obama should definitely avoid saying on The Late Show with David Letterman up on the blog before his scheduled appearance the other night. Unfortunately, I got all distracted by this video of a monkey wrestling with a puppy, and before I knew it, I was too late.
As it turns out, he really could have used my advice…
When asked if he remember what the national debt was when he entered office, President Obama said "I don't know what the number was precisely." Obama told Letterman "we don't have to worry about it short term."
If only I had gotten this post up on time! Aaargh! He somehow managed to hit two of my ten trouble statements within seconds of each other. Look…
1. "I don't know what the national debt number is precisely."
Definitely don't say this or any variation of this. It hits exactly at conservative's biggest criticism of you. You can't make yourself look like you're uninformed about one of the biggest issues of the day. And, besides, it's not like it's difficult information to find. Remember that giant debt clock the Republicans had at their convention, so maybe refer to that.2. "I suspect there might be werewolves, or possibly Frankensteins, hiding inside the walls of the White House."
This kind of paranoid rhetoric is not going to instill confidence in voters who are looking for an even-keeled rationalist to be in charge. Plus, it's really more of a Michele Bachmann-esque talking point.3. "We don't have to worry about the national debt in the short term."
Again, you can't make yourself look like you somehow don't care about the national debt. Republicans are going to keep hammering away at this issue. See #1.
Tags: Barack Obama, CBS, David Letterman, Debt, Television -
Our Endorsements: Putin Chick-fil-A to Shame
* Formal Sweatpants' Josh Mecouch draws @RobDelaney's latest Romney tweet about Pussy Riot.* From The Onion, Huffington Post news sees all.
* Paul Ryan's Song of Himself, by Andy Borowitz.
* Did you see more bad lip reading with Romney?
* The Long Walk's latest installment, from McSweeney's.
* David Letterman has a talk with Mitt Romney's good friend Tracy Morgan.
* Oh sweet mystery of Paul Ryan's clothing choices, at last we've found you!
* Why Obama and Romney are both wrong about cars and dogs and energy.
* The Jimmy Kimmel show re-enacts Romney's outsourcing of Sesame Street.
Tags: Chick-fil-A, Daily Links, David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel, Mitt Romney, New Yorker, Paul Ryan, PBS, Primaries, Republicans, Rob Delaney, Russia, The Onion, Tracy Morgan, Vladimir Putin, Women's Rights -
Our Endorsements: Carrot Top of the Hill
* Prop comedy takes over Congress.
* "Romney doesn't know shit about cleaning."
* Letterman got his own NYC park, why can't Steve Martin?
* Disney characters who look like politicians, or vice versa.
* Buy Reagan blood from the comfort of your own home, from Funny or Die.
* Prepare to be amused by the alternate reality cast of "Political Animals".
Tags: Barack Obama, Chris Rock, Daily Links, David Letterman, Mitt Romney, Ronald Reagan, steve, Trayvon Martin -
Our Endorsements: Dissecting His Obamaisms
* On Letterman, Fred Armisen discusses his Obama impersonation.
* Mitt Romney stands for things and stuff.
* You asked for it, Westboro Baptist Church.
* In his second term, Obamacare is going to be referred to as Obamadoesntcare.
* Some hilarious instances where members of congress corrected their Wikipages.
* You've been indoctrinated by these movies and you didn't even know it, from Cracked.
Tags: Barack Obama, Daily Links, David Letterman, Health Care, Hollywood, House of Representatives, Senate, SNL, Wikipedia -
Our Endorsements: Here's a Clown Answer, BRO!
* Clowning Harry Reid.
* What's next, JFK: Skirt Hunter?
* What happens to NYC when President Obama pays a visit.
* Justin Beiber plays it safe on the fence with David Letterman.
* Mommy skills count when applying for a job, from McSweeney's.
* Winter is coming. Game of Thrones political attack ads from Mother Jones.
* Just when you thought it was safe to wade into the ocean of politics again…the Tea Party.
Tags: Barack Obama, Daily Links, David Letterman, Game of Thrones, John Kennedy, Mitt Romney, Mother Jones, New York, Tea Party, The Onion, Unemployment, Women's Rights