A Visual Guide to the David Petraeus Circus

As far as I can tell, L'Affaire Petraeus involves a woman named Jill Kelley who was allegedly cyber-harassed by Paula Broadwell, alleged mistress of CIA Director David Petraeus. The love pentagon — represented above as an homage to every terrible PowerPoint slide ever created by a Department of Defense public affairs team — also involved Kelley's alleged relationship with an FBI agent (who allegedly sent Kelley shirtless photos of himself, for some reason) and a series of "compromising" communications (which may be a few hundred innocuous emails, not the 20,000 communications initially reported) between Kelley and Gen. John Allen, the commander of U.S. forces in Afghanistan. The fact that he commands U.S. forces in Afghanistan is, indeed, the only non-alleged piece of information here.

We don't quite know the whole story yet, but after several days of revelations (alleged revelations?) a few things are clear:

* The media is really, really bored post-election.

* The FBI reads people's emails on quite small pretenses and this is worrying! Your love letter to Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf is not secure.

* We should quarantine Tampa, Florida, home of CENTCOM and all things tawdry.

* Anthony Weiner and John Edwards are probably linked to this, somehow.

.

Previously: David Petraeus Resigns from C.I.A. Over Sex Scandal

Tags: Afghanistan, David Petraeus, Media, Sex

Tweet Untweet: Covert Operations

It seems that David Petraeus should've worked for the FBI. You know, as a Female Body Inspector.

— David Clifford (@cliffoda) November 12, 2012

Tags: CIA, David Petraeus, FBI, Tweet Untweet, Twitter

From the Pork Barrel: The Art of Steele-ing

* You've got to admit. Former RNC chair Michael Steele seems a lot less silly all of a sudden.

* One small business owner is doing his part to help fix Obama's devastatingly not-so-bad employment numbers.

* Why won't David Petraeus release the birth certificate of the person he was sleeping with?! I'm just asking questions, people!

* The leader of the Tea Party Express is suddenly against tossing around blame. Next thing you know, she's going to place a moratorium on Uncle Sam hats and unintentionally-ironic protest signs.

* The 2028 Bush v. Clinton presidential race is shaping up nicely.

* Download our free iPhone and iPad app Indecision Election Companion and jump up into the the Peanut Gallery — our liveblog/instant reaction arena — to watch and respond as David Axelrod and Lindsey Graham discuss election results on CBS' Face the Nation this sunday at 10:30 am ET

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Chelsea Clinton, David Petraeus, Michael Steele, Pork Barrel, Reince Priebus, RNC, Unemployment

David Petraeus Resigns from C.I.A. Over Sex Scandal

Hold on. On the same day that Skyfall – the coolest-looking James Bond movie in a while — is opening in U.S. theaters, the head of the C.I.A. is stepping down because he had some sex? Is he also guilty of walking away from too many explosions in slow motion?

I'm sorry, but these are some serious mixed messages, spy people…

David H. Petraeus, the director of the Central Intelligence Agency, resigned on Friday after issuing a statement saying that he had engaged in an extramarital affair…

"After being married for over 37 years, I showed extremely poor judgment by engaging in an extramarital affair," Mr. Petraeus wrote. "Such behavior is unacceptable, both as a husband and as the leader of an organization such as ours. This afternoon, the president graciously accepted my resignation."…

Read More »

Tags: CIA, David Petraeus, Sex, Spying

Tweet Untweet: Playing "What If?"

What if Obama dropped Biden for Clinton, then dropped her for Petraeus, then a brokered GOP convention nominated Jeb and he made Condi VP?

— Alex Burns (@aburnspolitico) August 7, 2012

Tags: Barack Obama, Condoleezza Rice, David Petraeus, Jeb Bush, Joe Biden, Republican National Convention, Tweet Untweet, Twitter