Latest Posts

David Vitter
  • My Favorite Election Night Moment: A Vitter Victory!

    Tonight was an evening of great victories and crushing defeats. But mostly, it was a night on which an alleged diaper fetishist and admitted whoremonger easily recaptured his Senate seat in a state known primarily for permitting the good times to roll. Yes, David Vitter will live to oppose another healthcare reform bill, more financial reform, and perhaps even another Wall Street bailout. You may approve or disapprove of his politics, but you cannot disagree with his filthy, sexy charm.

    So tonight, I raise my glass of bourbon (oh, you bet your ass I'm drinking) to Senator David Vitter, a man so manly that even rumors of a predilection for Pampers could not stop his mighty might. May your reddish visage approach Boehner-ian levels of orangeitude during your glorious 1000-year reign in the Senate.

    Tags: David Vitter, Louisiana, Midterms, Prostitution, Sara Benincasa, Sex
  • Democratic Senatorial Challenger Attempts to Out-Scumbag David Vitter

    Democratic Rep. Charlie Melancon — who is currently trailing by double digits in his bid to unseat well-known aficionado of prostitutes and hypocrisy David Vitter from his place in the U.S. Senate — has apparently concluded that Louisiana voters prefer lowlife scumbags. So, he just released this 2-minute ad. Give the people what they want, you know…

    The War Room's Alex Pareene makes a good point

    "One thing I don't get: Why did his constituents need their identities protected? They're not the prostitutes. They're just people who live in Louisiana who don't like David Vitter."

    Though, I don't think I'd want to be associated with this ad either.

    Tags: David Vitter, Louisiana, Prostitution, Senate, Sex
  • (Na Na Na Na Nana) Gettin' Whiggy Wit It

    Remember the Whig Party? No? That is because you were not born in 1830, and also because you did not pay attention in history class. You are the reason America is lagging behind in everything important. Anyhow, some people who RESPECT AMERICA have decided to Whig it up again, for old time's sake. And they're actually not weird LARPers or living history freaks. In fact, they're all about being, um… normal

    The Modern Whig Party was the brainchild of soldiers tired of the bickering that filled chow-hall TV screens on bases in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of them, Capt. Mike Lebowitz, a Washington lawyer then serving with the 101st Airborne Division, emailed his buddies and began talking up the idea of a party that would be fiscally conservative, socially liberal and generally mild-mannered. They picked the Whig name because of its ties to the Founding Fathers, William Henry Harrison and the early career of Abraham Lincoln.

    "Our whole goal when we started this was not to come across as weird or fringe," says the 32-year-old Mr. Lebowitz.

    If you are like most American jerks, you are confused by the concept of persons in the media spotlight who speak rationally about hot-button issues. You will probably not be surprised to learn that the Modern Whig Party doesn't get a whole lot of media coverage. Let us visit their very own website to learn more!

    We represent moderate voters from all walks of life who cherry-pick between traditional Republican and Democratic ideals in what has been called the Modern Whig Philosophy. This Washington DC-based national movement values common sense, rational solutions ahead of ideology and partisan bickering.

    This includes general principles of fiscal responsibility, strong national defense and educational/scientific advancement.

    Yaaaaaaawnsies. Where are their screaming Bachmanns or orange Boehners? Where are their facelifted Pelosis and their ethics-free Rangels?

    Oh, the Modern Whig Party only started in 2008?

    That explains it.

    Just give them time. They'll be churning out diaper-clad Vitters in no time.

    Tags: Abraham Lincoln, David Vitter, Founding Fathers, William Henry Harrison
  • Phyllis Schlafly Behaving Like Phyllis Schlafly, Makes Democrats Sad

    Do you know the connection between President Obama's reelection plans, single mothers and welfare? Phyllis Schlafly does

    Conservative activist Phyllis Schlafly took aim at "unmarried women" at a recent fundraiser and in an interview with TPM, saying that they overwhelmingly support President Obama and are all on welfare…

    "Unmarried women, 70% of unmarried women, voted for Obama, and this is because when you kick your husband out, you've got to have big brother government to be your provider," said Schlafly, president of Eagle Forum and infamous for her opposition to the Equal Rights Amendment.

    As if you even needed to any verification that the things that come out of Schlafly's mouth have but the loosest connections to reality, Charles Lemos at MyDD breaks down the numbers in a long explanatory post from which I am only going to extract this

    Read More »

    Tags: Barack Obama, David Vitter, Democrats, Jim DeMint, Michele Bachmann, Phyllis Schlafly, Republicans, Welfare
  • David Vitter Does Not Want to Talk About His Girlfriend-Stabbing "Women's Issues" Coordinator

    Ruh-roh! Bayou-based Republican sex munchkin Sen. David Vitter — who showed up at Louisiana's Secretary of State’s office in Baton Rouge yesterday in order to formally sign up for this year's Senate race — was just not that into answering reporters’ friendly questions about his former sidekick Brent Furer yesterday…

    For Vitter, it was his first time facing the media since news broke last month that one of his aides had pleaded guilty in connection with a 2008 altercation involving an ex girlfriend. The aide, Brent Furer, remained on Vitter's staff until ABC News reported that Furer stabbed and threatened to kill the woman during a 90-minute ordeal.

    Vitter declined to directly answer questions about the incident, except to refute media reports that Furer was assigned to handle women's issues in his office.

    More on that hellish 90-minute ragefest over here.

    But hey, every boss makes a crappy hire once in awhile, right? Well, yeah, but most bosses in Vitter's position wouldn't keep the dude on staff. But, I suppose it's something that he at least didn't tap him to focus on women’s issues…

    But, um, whoopsies daisies, those sneaky monkeys over at Talking Points Memo have uncovered evidence documenting that Furer was in fact assigned to make sure persons with vaginas were satisfied with life, or whatever "women’s issues" actually means.

    This ensures that David Vitter will be re-elected, this time as Senator-for-Life, at which point he will assign Mel Gibson to be his Official Attache to Girls, Jews, and Blacks.

    Tags: David Vitter, Louisiana, Men and Women, Senate