The United States of Unflattering Stereotypes

How long does it take to travel to every state in the nation and mock it right to its face? About two minutes…

I think it's really cool that Paul Jury traveled 19,000 miles in the service of writing his book States of Confusion, but you've got to wonder if it was really necessary. If he was really interested in seeing how everybody in the country really lives, couldn't he have just gone to a Wal-Mart in a Hoveround?

Tags: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Books, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming

From the Pork Barrel: To Be Gay in Delaware

* Civil unions come to Delaware, unlike gay people.

* Nearly half of Mississippi Republicans think gay marriage should be illegal. No, wait, not gay marriage. I meant interracial marriage.

* Entire city worth of votes for Wisconsin supreme court race found down in basement under some old Star Wars toys.

* Rep. Mike Pence wants to score a win for the Republican people… Um, wait no, the American people. Well, same thing, right?

Tags: David Prosser, Delaware, House of Representatives, JoAnne Kloppenburg, Judiciary, LGBT, Marriage, Mike Pence, Pork Barrel, Wisconsin

Christine O'Donnell Is Being Persecuted by the FBI Because Just Because

So, you may have heard that there's maybe a federal investigation underway to determine if Senate candidate hilarious performance artist Christine O'Donnell misused campaign for personal use such as rent, broomsticks, eyes of newt, etc.

Obviously, this is merely a case of the FBI and the Vice President's office persecuting Christine O'Donnell for reasons that make obvious sense. Obviously!

"There's been no impermissible use of campaign funds whatsoever," O'Donnell told ABC's "Good Morning America."

O'Donnell, the tea party favorite who scored a surprise primary victory before losing in the general election, suggested the accusations are driven by political establishments on the right and left, including Joe Biden. He represented Delaware in the Senate for decades before he became vice president.

"You have to look at this whole thug-politic tactic for what it is," she said Thursday.

Yes. That is a very likely scenario she lays out there. The Vice-President of the United States is cashing in on all his clout in Delaware to exact some sort of vengeance against a person who handed the Democrats a laughably easy win. Very very likely.

She should sell the rights to that story! It would certainly make a fantastic movie! My only concern is whether or they can get Dan Aykroyd to provide the voice of the CGI-animated hipster iguana who Biden pays off in magical doubloons to ruin O'Donnell's life. Do you think his schedule is open? Yikes!

Tags: Christine O’Donnell, Delaware, FBI, Joe Biden, Money, Senate

Colbert: John Boehner Did It!

The Republicans won a majority in the House just two days ago, and as Stephen Colbert pointed out on last night's Colbert Report, they've already accomplished so much, from making a profit on TARP to saving the auto industry. In fact, some say the party started turning things around months ago. It's all part of the GOP's new philosophy, Trickle Back in Time Economics.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Tags: Alcohol, Chris Coons, Christine O’Donnell, CNN, Colorado, Delaware, Economy, Harry Reid, House of Representatives, Illinois, James Carville, Joe Sestak, John Boehner, John Hall, Ken Buck, LGBT, Nevada, New York, Ohio, Pat Toomey, Pennsylvania, Senate, Sharron Angle, Stephen Colbert, TARP, Tea Party, The Colbert Report, Unemployment, Video, Washington

My Favorite Election Night Moment: Christine O'Donnell's Concession Speech

Democrat Chris Coons defeated Republican Christine O'Donnell by 18% in the Delaware Senate race, but in her concession speech, she announced "we have won." And you know what? She's right. Well, "we" didn't win anything, but she sure did, which is why even compared to some of the night's victory speech's, O'Donnell's was among the most enthusiastic.

So, what was she so damn happy about? She was happy about winning what matters, duh. O'Donnell received the most news coverage of any candidate in the midterms, quite a feat considering few had heard of her before the primaries and she never posed any kind of serious general election threat. That she received the bulk of that coverage for being a clown doesn't matter either. What matters is, she's a star now.

Book deals, speaking engagements, maybe even a reality show if we all pray loud enough. Those are the rewards that await Christine O'Donnell, and with just a moment of listening to her speech, you know she knows it. Chris Coons might have gotten the most votes, but all he got out of the election is one of the shittiest jobs in the country.

So, congratulations to Christine O'Donnell, the biggest winner of the night.

Tags: Chris Coons, Christine O’Donnell, Delaware, Midterms, Senate