Last night, John Kerry delivered an address best summed up as "you know you're a flip-flopper when John Kerry calls you a flip-flopper."
Zingers included "It isn't fair to say Mitt Romney doesn't have a position on Afghanistan; he has every position," and "Talk about being for it before you were against it." No one would have been surprised had Kerry accused Romney of being a French windsurfer. And then there was this line, winning the prize for best Rocky reference at any political convention…
Folks, Sarah Palin said she could see Russia from Alaska. Mitt Romney talks like he's only seen Russia by watching Rocky IV.
To which Sarah Palin responded on the Neil Cavuto show, communicating surprise that not everyone knew her level of obliviousness about the world around them…
I think he diminished himself by even mentioning my name. How does he even know my name?
Tags: Democratic National Convention, John Kerry, Sarah Palin
With apologies to the Associated Press and Politifact, who produce better parodies of their own work than I can muster…
BARACK OBAMA: "Joe Biden, thank you for being the best vice president I could ever hope for."
FACT: Two Pinocchios. Based on a content analysis of the president's speeches, the best vice president Barack Obama could ever hope for is zombie Abraham Lincoln. However, based on another content analysis of Obama's remarks, the president has a shaky understanding of the meaning of "hope," so this statement doesn't qualify as an outright falsehood.
OBAMA: "The first time I addressed this convention in 2004, I was a younger man."
FACT: One Pinocchio. The theory that time exists independently of any perceiver and progresses at a consistent pace throughout the universe is no longer the standard view in modern physics.
Tags: Barack Obama, Democratic National Convention