In which we take a look back at the departing federal lawmakers we'll miss most in 2013.
Name: Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-OH)
Leaving Congress Because: Defeated, but also retiring. More likely, his calling is on another planet:
Best Known For: Calling for a Department of Peace, which makes him a crazy person on this planet.
Memorable Quote: "Will you marry me?" — to a woman who was entirely out of his league, and everybody said, "huh?!" and then, incredibly, she said yes, and everybody said, "huh."
Greatest Accomplishment: Tried to impeach Bush/Cheney. Neither of whom is office anymore, ergo, victory Kucinich.
Why We'll Miss Him: Why do you miss oxygen when you're underwater?
What the Future Holds for Him: Wins election to rule the galaxy in 3412 as Kucinich the Grey, earning him the nickname Boy Mayor of The Milky Way and Various Celestial Objects.
Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
Tags: Democrats, Dennis Kucinich, House of Representatives, Ohio
Remember that scene in The Dark Knight, when — just after slicing Gambol's face wide open — the Joker breaks a pool cue in two and throws it to the ground, informing the mob boss' former soldiers that "there's only one spot open right now, so we're going to have tryouts"? Remember that? Huh?
Well, that's essentially what Ohio state legislators are doing right now with Reps. Dennis Kucinich and Marcy Kaptur…
Redistricting erased two House seats in Ohio, pushing the two incumbents into a single district. The new district contains areas of Kucinich's Cleveland base and Kaptur's Toledo base.
After publicly shopping for a district in Washington state and mulling a challenge to Rep. Marcia Fudge (D-Ohio), Kucinich decided enough of his base was intact to mount a primary challenge against Kaptur, who is the longest-serving female in the House. The new district contains more of Kaptur's territory.
Awesome! A good old-fashioned Democratic donkey-fight. This should be a lot of fun to watch. More fun, probably, than watch Kucinich sue the congressional cafeteria after biting into a olive pit in his sandwich, which, I believe, is the last newsworthy thing he did. This should at least be bloodier.
Oh, and you'll never guess the trophy for being the first one who manages to drive their splintered pool cue deep into their long-time colleague's throat…
The winner of the heavily Democratic district may face Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher (R), better known as Joe the Plumber, in the general election.
This is the most amazing prize in the world.
Until he beats one of them.
Tags: Dennis Kucinich, House of Representatives, Joe the Plumber, Marcy Kaptur, State Legislature
On the up side, Rep. Dennis Kucinich has managed bridge the divide between Democrats and Republicans and find something that legislators on both sides of the aisle can get behind.
On the downside, he's suing the President…
A bipartisan group of House members announced on Wednesday that it is filing a lawsuit charging that President Obama made an illegal end-run around Congress when he approved U.S military action against Libya.
"With regard to the war in Libya, we believe that the law was violated. We have asked the courts to move to protect the American people from the results of these illegal policies," said Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio), who led the 10-member anti-war coalition with Rep. Walter Jones (R-N.C.)…
According to Kucinich, the suit will challenge the Obama administration's "circumvention of Congress and its use of international organizations such as the United Nations and the North Atlantic Treaty Organization to authorize the use of military force abroad." It also will ask a judge to prohibit the White House from conducting a war without congressional approval.
You know what? Obama has no one but himself to blame for this. He saw what happened when that one olive pit ordered military strikes on the Sudan without going through the proper congressional channels. Kucinich doesn't fuck around with this stuff.
Photo By Bill Clark/CQ-Roll Call Group/Getty Images
Tags: Barack Obama, Dennis Kucinich, House of Representatives, Libya, Military, Ohio
By Brian Kraker
Man, does Dennis Kucinich love to throw around impeachment proposals or what? After threatening to chase Bush and Cheney from the White House in 2008 (too bad this big national election thingy beat him to it), the Ohio congressman decided it was just and right to put Obama’s head on a pike for the U.S.'s bombing of Libya.
However, after lacking the support of just about anyone, Kucinich decided to back down…
Democrat Rep. Dennis Kucinich is walking back from his suggestion that President Barack Obama be impeached for authorizing air strikes against Libya without congressional approval.
Asked Thursday night if he sees support for impeachment building, the liberal Ohioan said it isn't. "No, I don’t think that," he told Lou Dobbs on Fox Business Network. "Impeachment is a process. That’s not going happen."
This is sort of like if, after Mel Gibson gave that inspiring speech in Braveheart and rode off towards imminent doom, it turned out his fellow Scottsmen stuck around at the top of that hill saying, "That guy is crazy."
Tags: Barack Obama, Dennis Kucinich, Impeachment, Libya, Military