In Least Shocking Decision Ever, U.S. Won't Prosecute Goldman Sachs

You know what they say, "First, they came for the sellers of collateralized mortgage obligations, who made bets against the same securities they sold to clients." Oh, they don't say that? Because it never, ever happens?

The Justice Department says after a "careful review" it has determined there is no basis for bringing a criminal prosecution against Goldman Sachs or its employees in regard to allegations set forth in a congressional report.

In an unsigned statement from the Justice Department issued Thursday night, it said the department conducted an exhaustive review for more than a year examining allegations in the Levin-Coburn Report.

Headed by Sen. Carl Levin, D-Michigan, and Sen. Tom Coburn, R-Oklahoma, the 635-page report in 2011 singled out Goldman and Deutsche Bank as examples of Wall Street firms that reaped huge profits by marketing securities backed by subprime mortgages as safe investments to clients, even as the banks bet against these very same securities.

In fairness to Goldman, it's simply not true that top executives haven't been punished for wrecking millions of livelihoods. Mark Patterson, a former Goldman Sachs V.P., is currently Treasury chief of staff to Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner. The chair of the Commodity Futures Trading Commission is former Goldman partner Gary Gensler.

Sounds problematic? It's a case of you say tomato, I say tomahto. You say, "revolving door cronyism," Goldman says "creative community service sentencing."

Photo by Jin Lee/Bloomberg/Getty Images

Tags: Crime, Department of Justice, Goldman Sachs, SEC

Caption Challenge: Antonin Scalia & Donald Verrilli

Leave your caption in the comments section of this post.

Image by Art Lien/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Antonin Scalia, Caption Challenge, Department of Justice, Donald Verrilli, Games and Challenges, Health Care, Judiciary, Supreme Court

From the Pork Barrel: A Working Lunch

* The White House just tweeted this photo, in an obvious attempt to show voters that the President is so dedicated to his job that he's taking his meals in the Oval Office.

* Michele Bachmann unveils the liberal lamestream media's transparent scheme to win the health care battle by complimenting Anthony Kennedy for his dreamy transfixing eyes (or something not all that much less silly).

* While we're on the subject of Enquirer-esque revelations from Rep. Bachmann, have you heard about all those Muslim Brotherhood agents who have infiltrated in the DOJ, Homeland Security and NIA?

* A Politico reporter was suspended for making distasteful sensational remarks about a presidential candidate. Odd. Normally, they're given promotions.

* Don't forget to download our Election Companion App for iPhone and iPad and follow along as we liveblog Sen. Marco Rubio on this Sunday's very special episode of Meet the Press on NBC.

Tags: Anthony Kennedy, Barack Obama, Bo Obama, Department of Justice, Health Care, Homeland Security, Islam, Judiciary, Marco Rubio, Meet the Press, Michele Bachmann, NBC, NIA, Pork Barrel, Puppies!, Racism, Religion, Senate, Spying, Supreme Court

Eric Holder Found in Contempt of Congress by Oversight Committee

What is the world coming to when a claim of executive privilege from a Democratic White House is not given the full measure of respect it deserves from a Republican-controlled House Oversight Committee?

The House Oversight and Government Reform Committee voted along party lines Wednesday to hold Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt of Congress for refusing to comply with a subpoena in the "Fast and Furious" investigation, setting up a legal showdown with President Barack Obama in the middle of his tough reelection battle…

GOP lawmakers weren’t swayed [by claims of executive privilege], and they proceeded with the contempt vote despite bitter objections from the White House, Justice Department and Democratic lawmakers. Speaker John Boehner and other top Republicans went so far as to suggest the White House was using executive privilege to cover up its involvement in Fast and Furious.

Issa and his fellow GOP lawmakers on the Oversight panel defeated several Democratic amendments seeking to revise or water down the contempt resolution and its accompanying report. Republicans then pushed through the chairman’s measure, the gist of which was leaked weeks ago, on a 23-17 vote.

The full House of Representatives won't get to vote on this until next week, and if I'm remembering correctly, the majority of the people in that legislative body seem pretty chill, which could bode well for Holder's chances. Though, I may be confusing them with that indie band Of Montreal. For some reason, I'm always getting them mixed up.

At any rate, at least now Eric Holder and Karl Rove finally have something to talk about at parties.

Tags: Darrell Issa, Department of Justice, Eric Holder, House Oversight Committee

Barack Obama's June Gloom

If May was gray for President Obama, June has been doom and gloom. After the slew of bad mojo last week, White House press secretary Jay Carney was thrown to the media dingos to answer some uncomfortable questions during Monday’s briefing…

The AP asked about the president’s unfortunate private-sector-is-fine remark. The Reuters correspondent asked about the economic "head winds" from Europe. Ed Henry of Fox News Channel asked about the looming contempt-of-Congress vote against Attorney General Eric Holder. Margaret Talev of Bloomberg News asked about the Supreme Court striking down Obamacare. Norah O'Donnell of CBS News asked about calls for a special prosecutor to probe leaks. Victoria Jones of Talk Radio News asked about the stalled talks with Pakistan.

Carney sought relief by calling on TV correspondents from swing states, but the one from Wisconsin asked about the failed attempt to recall Republican Gov. Scott Walker and the one from Nevada asked about her state’s unemployment rate, the nation’s highest.

Talk then headed back to commerce secretary John Bryson's hit-and-run felony citation, the only remotely feel-good story of the week. It turns out a medical condition and not "going Lohan" was to blame for Bryson's erratic driving.

That was a close call, but maybe it's time for President Obama to put an ankle monitor on all his cabinet members. Keep everyone on lock down until November. Nobody wants to see a picture of David Axelrod climbing into his car after a night of clubbing with his thong showing. Also, no more Fast and Furious for Eric Holder.

And, for God's sake, nobody let the economy take the Porsche out for a spin.

Photo by Olivier Douliery-Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Barack Obama, Department of Justice, Economy, Eric Holder, Foreign Policy, Health Care, House of Representatives, John Bryson, Nevada, Pakistan, Recall, Scott Walker, Supreme Court, Unemployment, Wisconsin